Wilson was infected with HIV. His mother was also infected with HIV, and she had passed this on to her son when he was born.
In Uganda, you did not have the same treatment options for HIV as you had elsewhere in the world. So to save their son, the parents looked at options to go to another country for treatment.
The choice fell on Denmark, but when complications arose with Wilson’s mother’s passport and visa, he had to travel with his aunt to Denmark, while his parents had to stay in Uganda.
– Unfortunately, my mother never got the necessary treatment for HIV before she developed AIDS. So neither she nor my biological father is alive today – unfortunately, says Wilson.
What is HIV?
- HIV is a virus that destroys the immune system, making you more susceptible to infections.
- The virus is in the body and is therefore primarily transmitted through blood, semen and vaginal secretions, which is why people are most often infected through unprotected sex. However, some children become infected during birth or when they are breastfed by their mother if she has HIV that is not being treated.
- The human body cannot fight HIV on its own, and therefore the person infected with HIV must undergo treatment. The treatment consists of medicine in the form of pills, and because HIV cannot yet be cured, you must be on treatment for the rest of your life.
- You cannot die from HIV, but if you do not get treatment for HIV, you can develop AIDS – and it can be fatal.
Source: Henrik Nielsen, professor and senior physician at Aalborg University Hospital.
When Wilson came to Denmark, he began treatment for HIV. But the medicine also made Wilson ill. It smelled bad, tasted bad and made him sick.
– I didn’t understand as a child why I had to take this medicine, because I felt bad when I took it, says Wilson, who started with a liquid medicine, which later became medicine in the form of pills.
– At one point I was taking about 15 pills a day and I remember they were such big pills that I could hardly swallow – today I just take a single pill every morning, but it still makes me a little nauseous today.
– Now I’m going to die
It was hard for Wilson to understand what was “wrong with him” when he was a child. He knew that he was hospitalized and that he was seriously ill, but neither his aunt nor the doctors who treated him told him that he was infected with HIV.
– I was 12 years old when I found out that I had HIV. We had had sex education at school, where we had talked about HIV and AIDS, and I could recognize some of the symptoms, says Wilson.
Some time after the experience at school, Wilson had to see his doctor. As fate would have it, that very day it was a substitute doctor who had to talk to Wilson – and he hadn’t quite understood that Wilson didn’t know he was infected with HIV.
– All of a sudden he starts to explain that I can apply for grants from the AIDS Foundation and suddenly I could put two and two together, says Wilson.
– I was really scared, and one of my first thoughts was simply: Now I’m going to die.
Felt like a monster
But Wilson Bukenya was not to die.
After all, he was already on medication, and therefore he was not sick, and he cannot infect others with HIV either. But because he had recently been taught at school about how dangerous HIV can be, Wilson’s mind immediately began to race.
Shortly after the doctor’s appointment, he had to meet with some friends with whom he shared the news. And it didn’t take long before the news that Wilson was infected with HIV spread like wildfire at the school.
He still remembers how he quickly became a topic of conversation at school and how his friends began to distance themselves from him.
– I felt like a monster because people were suddenly afraid of me, remembers Wilson.
– In the end it was arranged that a doctor and nurse came to the school and explained what HIV was. Both to my classmates, but also to their parents, who also didn’t always know very much about HIV and that it is not contagious when you get medicine.
As Wilson got a little older, he once again felt how prejudice about HIV had consequences for his social life.
– I had been introduced to a nice girl through a mutual friend, and we had good chemistry. But when the girl found out that I was infected with HIV, she sent me a text saying that we couldn’t see each other anymore. It was really hard and left some scars on my soul, says Wilson, who is still affected by the situation to this day.
The biggest problem is prejudice
In the infectious disease department at Aalborg University Hospital, patients who are infected with HIV are treated.
Henrik Nielsen, professor and senior physician at the department, can well recognize the stigma and prejudices about HIV that Wilson has encountered throughout his life. Henrik Nielsen also finds that many remember the horror stories from the 80s and 90s so well that it can be difficult for them to understand that a person with well-treated HIV is neither contagious nor dangerous.
– People remember what it was like when HIV was a new disease, and although the situation today is completely different, and you can easily live a normal life with HIV, it can be difficult to change the shared historical memory, says Henrik Nielsen .
Professor and senior physician at the department of infectious disease medicine at Aalborg University, Henrik Nielsen, believes that the prejudices about HIV are far more dangerous than HIV itself. Archive photo: Torben Hansen
The consequence of the fact that many people still have some prejudices about HIV can be that it can be difficult for people living with HIV to be open and honest about the fact that they are infected.
– Today, the biggest problem is not that you are infected with HIV, because we can deal with that with the right medicine. The biggest problem, on the other hand, is that many people do not dare to be honest about the fact that they are infected, because they fear the reaction from other people, explains Henrik Nielsen, who emphasizes that with the right treatment you do not infect your partner and can easily live a long and normal life.
Henrik Nielsen also says that research is being conducted into the treatment of HIV to find a different form of treatment than the daily pill.
The right timing
Wilson has experienced several times that people cut off contact with him when they found out that he is infected with HIV.
Therefore, it may well make him a little anxious when he has to tell that he lives with HIV. Especially if he’s on a date.
– I try to find the right time to say it, but I generally try to do it quickly. I think it is most fair to the girl and that she has the right to know before it develops into something serious, says Wilson.
He once texted a date that he was living with HIV, but it soon dawned on him that it might be a stupid thing to text. So he quickly called her and explained that he could not infect others and that he was not “sick”.
– I have learned that if I am relaxed when I tell it, the reaction is also very relaxed. And then I also think that if a girl is not comfortable with that, then she is not the right girl for me, says Wilson, who, like so many others, also dreams of finding love and starting a family one day.
– I am like all other people. I take my medicine every day, but otherwise I don’t go around thinking that I’m sick in any way. But I hope that my story can help show others that HIV is not dangerous and cannot be transmitted if you receive treatment, says Wilson.
2024-12-02 18:13:00
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What are some of the challenges faced by people with HIV in terms of dating and intimacy due to stigma?
This article discusses the ongoing stigma associated with HIV, even though modern medicine allows people with HIV to live long and healthy lives.
The article features the personal experience of a man named Wilson, who was diagnosed with HIV as a child and has faced prejudice throughout his life. He shares how people reacting negatively to his diagnosis affected him, and how he navigates disclosing his HIV status when dating.
Professor Henrik Nielsen, a specialist in infectious diseases, emphasizes that the biggest problem today is not the virus itself but the stigma surrounding it. He stresses that people with well-managed HIV are no danger to others and can lead normal lives. He also highlights the ongoing research seeking alternative treatments to daily pills.
The article underscores the need for increased awareness and understanding to combat the prejudice against individuals living with HIV.
