(CNN Español) — Depression can leave you outside the normal course of your daily life at any time. And if you think that it is only regarding deep sadness that is improved by having a “positive attitude”, you should know that many people can be affected in their day to day by this disease.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), a person who is depressed experiences a mood full of “sadness, irritability, a feeling of emptiness”, a loss of enjoyment of life or disinterest in activities, “the greatest part of the day, almost every day, for at least two weeks. “
It is estimated that approximately 280 million people suffer from depression worldwide, which represents 3.8% of the estimated population, according to WHO.
For half of those affected, one episode is all they will experience. But following three or more, these episodes are 90% more likely to become recurrent.
“When we are talking regarding depression, we are talking regarding a persistent sadness that does not allow you to function in your day to day,” Dr. Karen Martínez, a member of the Public Health Committee of the Anxiety and Depression Association of the United States, told CNN (ADAA for its acronym in English), an organization dedicated to the prevention, treatment and cure of various disorders such as anxiety and depression.
Depression, says Martínez, is a response to a loss event that a person experiences: the loss of a person, a disappointment, or something that can make her “question the meaning of life, if there is hope, if one must follow. “
More than “lack of will”: how depression affects your day to day
There are people in whose worst moments of depression cannot get out of bed; bathing is a challenge for them. Eating becomes a challenge because the appetite is gone and the hope for a future does not exist.
So why fight? They wonder.
“When one does not want to get out of bed, when one is ‘sewn to the bed’, one would like (to get up) and the body does not give it, neither the arms, nor the legs. And one inside knows that it should get up , but it can’t. I think that’s when the disease began to take power over one as a person, “Jonny Castro, a 28-year-old economist who lives in Bogotá, told CNN who was diagnosed with depression a few years ago. four years.
“I was thinking and inside I felt that that was my way of being: introverted, suddenly a little emotionally unstable. But I never imagined that I had something called depression and I never managed to realize that it was a really serious illness”, Castro told CNN.
About four years ago, Castro had a very strong crisis that forced him to lock himself up for a week. During that time, he did not sleep, did not eat and lived “very anxious all the time.” So he decided to go to a mental health clinic where he was interned for some time. There he began to receive counseling regarding his condition, they medicated him, and then he entered therapies to stabilize his mood.
A similar situation occurs to María Alejandra, a 32-year-old from Bogotá who asks us not to disclose her full name. She says she has dealt with a depression that was diagnosed at the age of 15, along with an eating disorder of bulimia and anorexia.
She says that when she has bouts of depression — which come back from time to time — she feels that she doesn’t like her surroundings and she loses the desire to continue fighting once morest the current.
“At the moment that I am in depression I feel that life was not what I wanted. I begin to feel a deep sadness that I cannot describe; an emptiness in the heart, in the body in which I say no more … . It’s not worth it, I got tired of going once morest the current “.
And getting up to do everyday things isn’t a matter of simple “will,” she says.
“It is difficult because (the will) does not exist. You do not see meaning in life. Actually, you wish you were not there. I have had suicidal thoughts in which I say to God ‘take me’, I do not see meaning in life. It is a situation of tiredness, of emotional exhaustion, which leads one to lie in bed, and thus they show you videos and photos of your loved ones, I just don’t want to because my soul is frozen “, says María Alejandra.
And Castro, who says that although it is a matter of the will to get out of bed in those difficult moments, recognizes that there are moments when it is impossible to do so.
Why is this happening?
According to Dr. Martinez of the ADAA, when a person is in clinical depression they cannot find a motivation to get out of the deep sad state because their brain is “basically off.”
“In depression, what is affected are these brain circuits that have to do with motivation,” explains Martínez. “So this event occurs where everything that normally helps us get out of bed, get out of the house, focus on work, those circuits, as you say, turn off and then you can’t find a way to turn them back on” .
On the other hand, the thought of a person with depression is so fused with the content of his mind, that that person ends up believing “firmly that his beliefs are a fact in reality and ends up questioning why” to continue, according to the psychotherapist Jose Verdejo from the Desanxiety team, a group specialized in the treatment of anxiety.
“Someone who has a negative perception of himself and lacks value, assumes that the rest see him in the same way and isolates himself socially, which creates a life devoid of opportunities for recognition and worth, which finally the affected person ends up accommodating as proof in reality that he is worthless and that he is doomed to suffer, further demotivating him, “Verdejo told CNN.
Beyond “positive attitude”
A common mistake that many make is to tell a person who suffers from depression to put a “positive attitude to life”, to realize that he has everything and “there is no reason to be sad” or many words other than supporting a person in this situation, they can give him more burdens and not be helpful at all.
“It is a discouragement that is not relieved by saying ‘put a positive attitude on it,'” says María Alejandra.
And since thoughts are something over which people have “little control”, according to Verdejo, “this type of advice is not useful.”
“The person with depression probably already tried to do it and was frustrated when he did not succeed, so he becomes frustrated once more when his environment insists on that. The support that a person with depression needs is from a secure bond, from an attempt to understand in instead of criticism, “says the expert.
Martínez, for his part, says that as a psychiatrist he sees cases of depression and anxiety very often, so it is important to talk regarding mental health to remove the stigmas on these issues.
“The most I see is people who are having difficulties adapting to what is happening, to day-to-day situations,” said Martínez who recommends seeking help in case you identify some of the symptoms we are talking regarding here.
The triggers
Although there are people who can recover during long periods of the disease, many have to deal with the consequences of this disease for a long time, and there are triggers that can lead to a severe depressive episode.
In Castro’s case, he says that leading a disorderly lifestyle, staying up late, makes the discomfort and discomfort begin, and those are the first signs of a crisis to come.
“Last year, like in March, he tried to give me a very strong episode because I was very loaded with work, with study, with many things and I began to lose control a little. However, I realize it and then I take the help, I go back to what I already knew I had to do and start once more, let’s say to stabilize myself emotionally and chemically and everything, “says Castro.
For María Alejandra, the situations in which she feels rejection and feels insecure of herself trigger anxiety and depressive episodes.
“When I feel someone’s rejection, that makes me nothing. I hate rejection. When someone rejects me, I feel that my life stops,” she says.
How to approach a person with depression?
Dr. Martínez says that the best way to approach a person with depression is to “focus on the behaviors” of that person and not on the person himself, to avoid a critical or judgmental tone.
“It is better to say: ‘I notice that lately you, who loved music, are not listening to music … or’ I notice that I call you and you do not answer the call. ‘So focusing on behavior for human beings is a little easier than accepting that there is a change in behavior, that there is a change in our emotions. “
For his part, Verdejo says that to help a person with depression it is necessary to show him unconditional support.
“To help a person with depression it is necessary to show affection and concern that make him question the veracity and usefulness of his mental norms,” he says. “But above all, suggest that he adhere to a psychological process that allows him to generate the necessary psychological flexibility to overcome his depression and build a life with purpose, and meaning instead of remaining trapped in that past that damaged him.”
Currently both Castro and María Alejandra are undergoing psychiatric treatment and take medication to control depression. At the time of this interview, both said they felt good and stated that they had not had a depressive episode for a while.
They both agree that the best thing for people with depression to do is seek professional help and also a support network that can support them through their most difficult times.
And also, talking regarding mental health is important to remove the taboo to this situation that is very common, although silent, all over the world.
Where to seek help if you suffer from depression?
If you have symptoms of depression, American Anxiety and Depression Association is an international non-profit organization that provides treatment, support, and resource information.
In this link you can find a list of websites and helplines that you can turn to in most Latin American countries and Spain.
– Editor’s note: this story was updated so as not to disclose the surname of one of the interviewees, as she herself requested.
