When the loved one disappears

2023-05-24 04:00:00

More and more people are suffering from dementia. It usually takes far too long for those affected to receive a diagnosis and for relatives to receive support.

When the shoes are put away in the refrigerator or when the grandfather suddenly stands in the aisle at night with his coat and hat because he wants to go shopping – relatives of people with dementia can tell regarding such events. But how to deal with it?

Forgetfulness alone is no cause for concern – at most an annoyance, according to gerontologist Konstanze Hilzensauer. If you keep looking for your mobile phone, if you can’t remember the name of a neighbor right away or if you forget an appointment at the dentist, many people worry whether it might be forgetfulness or the first indications of dementia. However, the first signs of dementia might be if you no longer remember having made a doctor’s appointment at all.

Dementia is a severely taboo disease that is often recognized too late – or perhaps does not want to be recognized. The parish thrower Theresa Schiestl organized a wide range of educational opportunities for relatives in Pongau via the Salzburg Catholic Educational Institute: “I noticed that my friends and acquaintances were overwhelmed by the subject. Many don’t know how to get help. It’s not easy to do that to understand what moves people with dementia and what determines their actions.” But understanding is the key into the world of a person who is not “just forgetful”.

“Many don’t want to admit it for a long time”

“For a long time I simply observed that something was wrong with my husband,” says Anna Burger, describing her situation and the fact that most of her family members did not want to admit it. “He had such a good sense of direction and it started with him always going in the wrong directions. And he didn’t see it, he just got more and more stubborn. He suddenly got up at midnight and got dressed. Things were always in the wrong places dreamy.” It took her a good five years before she finally sought help. Nevertheless, she always has a bad conscience because it was no longer possible at home: “You just can’t do it anymore. I didn’t want to admit it to myself for a long time.”

Personality changes can also go hand in hand with dementia, explains Hilzensauer, and this creates many different challenges and burdens for relatives: “It’s important that relatives recognize their own limits, don’t feel guilty regarding it, but share the various burdens in everyday life and support Examples of this would be self-help groups, the involvement of the social environment, the use of advice, relief options through institutions or courses and training for relatives, such as those offered by the ÖGK and the relief organization and empathetic communication is conveyed and tried out. For example, it is pointed out that one should absolutely avoid arguments with people with dementia and instead try to be empathetic and put oneself in the emotional world and the needs of those affected.” Relatives should always take themselves seriously and take care of themselves, emphasizes Hilzensauer, “because if the relatives are fine, the people with dementia are fine too.” Contrary to the opinion of some affected relatives, the disease cannot be cured: “Every day you lose a loved one a little more.”

How symptoms of dementia feel, for example, can be experienced in practice at various stations of a dementia course run by the Katholisches Bildungswerk. “So you suddenly understand why people with dementia often eat with their fingers. If you know what’s going on and even put yourself in the time warp of the person affected, then it helps everyone,” says Theresa Schiestl.

Timely help for dementia
State care advice in St. Johann: Free switchboard, information and help with dementia. Tel. : +43 662 8042-3696, Monday, Thursday, Friday, 8 a.m. to 12 p.m. and by appointment. DGKP Marlene Pichler and DGKP Eva Schaupper advise.

Family course dementia
A free course will take place on June 16th and 30th (3pm-6pm) at the St. Cyriak senior citizens’ home, Pfarrwerfen. Limited number of participants. Registration by phone: 05 0776-179000 or email: [email protected] required.

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