And when she came home to Aalborg, she completely “walked the boards”.
At the time, Ida Lohmann thought that everyone felt that way.
Ida Lohmann to Melodi Grand Prix
Martel Andersen
Ida Lohmann to Melodi Grand Prix
Martel Andersen
But now she can see that she had dropped out of high school for the same reason.
There turned out to be a good explanation for why she had to call in sick so many times.
And a reason why she could struggle for weeks, only to collapse like a wet rag.
Exhausted and drained of energy.
But it wasn’t until Ida’s daughter got the word out that the 10-euro fell for Ida as well.
For Ida Lohmann – like many others – the diagnoses are ADHD and autism.
And – like many others – Ida Lohmann only had them asked at a late age.
– If I had known this earlier, I would have had a completely different adult life, she says today.
The daughter was sick
It actually began with Ida’s daughter, Freja.
She has struggled with severe health challenges since she was very young.
Freja was born with a serious heart defect which required several major operations.
– The doctors discovered that she was getting too little oxygen and her face turned blue when she cried. That is why she was operated on for the first time when she was four days old, says Ida Lohmann.
Ida Lohmann grew up in Vaarst, but now lives in Aalborg East. Photo: Martél Andersen
The following years were characterized by hospital visits, fear and uncertainty.
Freja vomited eight to ten times a day and had difficulty gaining weight.
Ida and her then-husband got up every night to feed their daughter.
Freja needed to eat at night because she threw up so much during the day.
The family found out that the nightly meals did not come up again, but did not know at the time that the reason might be found in the quietness of the night.
Freja weighed only 11 kilos when she started school.
No one could see in her what was really wrong.
Not even her own parents.
– We were just told that we overprotected her, says Ida and adds:
– The teachers thought that we should demand more from her, but every time we did, she got sick. It was frustrating because it felt like we were doing everything wrong.
– My head still wants much more than my body can handle, says Ida Lohmann, who is 51 years old. Photo: Martél Andersen
The pressure from the outside world to treat Freja as a “normal” child constantly collided with reality.
Because Freja’s body gave up in the most violent ways.
A friend’s post and a new realization
Ida constantly sought answers to her daughter’s unhappiness. But it was only when a friend shared a post about autism on social media eight years ago that Ida began to consider a new explanation.
– I read and thought: This sounds exactly like Freja, says Ida and adds:
– The more I read about autism, the better it suited her.
Ida remembers the moment as a mixture of aha experience, shock, relief.
– All of a sudden there were a lot of pieces that fell into place, says Ida Lohmann.
– If I had known everything I know now, I could have avoided many years of exhaustion and self-blame – and had a completely different adult life, says Ida Lohmann. Photo: Martél Andersen
Freja was investigated, and the diagnosis finally gave a logical explanation for the many years of unhappiness.
Due to the congenital heart defect, people have mistakenly looked for the explanation there and completely overlooked the fact that Freja – with her autism – has found it very easy to be overstimulated.
Freja is now 20 years old and can now pay much more attention to her diagnosis.
But her daughter’s autism diagnosis also caused Ida herself to let herself be sorted out.
Because Ida could see the autistic personality traits in herself to a great extent.
She is not the only one with autism. She was also investigated for ADHD, which is an attention disorder.
And Ida is certainly not the only one who has been investigated as an adult.
In connection with the great focus that has come on ADHD, there is a general increase in adults who want an investigation, informs the psychiatry in the North Jutland region.
– Some have become aware of whether they might suffer from ADHD, as their children or others in their circle of friends have been investigated, says psychiatry.
For Ida Lohmann, it has given a completely different life, where she does not blame herself to the same extent.
– I am beginning to understand why I have never been able to stick to it like others can, she says and adds:
– And why I have always blamed myself for being lazy or inadequate.
Overachievement and burnout
Now Ida can look back on her high school years at Aalborghus State High School with completely different eyes.
It was a period filled with stress and exhaustion – and she had to drop out several times.
– I threw up from stress in the morning, lost a lot of weight and ended up being so physically exhausted that I couldn’t continue.
– With the diagnoses, I have found someone to look up to, and they can recognize themselves in me too. It is very valuable, says Ida Lohmann. Photo: Martél Andersen
She went to Germany as an exchange student to get a break.
But the pattern continued when she got home.
Every time Ida struggled with a new education or a new job, she ended up getting sick and had to take months-long breaks.
– I have always given everything I had, she says.
For example, she trained as a teacher while her daughters were very young
– I thought I just had to deal with it. I did, but I got sick again and again.
Ida Lohmann tells how she often thought that everyone had the same hard time.
– I just thought it was normal to wake up at night with a high heart rate and a feeling of panic. I thought everyone was fighting like that and that I just had to grit my teeth, she says and adds:
– It is only now that I understand that it was not normal.
Finding balance with the diagnoses
Today, Ida has learned to adapt her life to her needs, and that has made a world of difference.
– I have become better at setting boundaries, she says.
For example, she never answers the phone if she cannot recognize the number.
– I have also learned to say no to social events if I don’t feel that I have the energy.
It has not been easy to accept that she must plan her life with peace and breaks.
– My head still wants much more than my body can handle, she says and adds:
– But now I know when to slow down.
Another important realization for Ida has been to embrace her strengths.
– I have found a great community among other women with the same diagnoses. It has helped that I don’t feel alone or too strange, says Ida Lohmann. Photo: Martél Andersen
Ida Lohmann, for example, has always loved music.
She was crazy about participating in the Danish Melodi Grand Prix.
– It was a huge experience. But I got sick afterwards because it was too much, she says.
Now she still sings.
She rarely goes out to perform – or sings choruses for other soloists.
But it is to a much greater extent on its own terms.
For example, she sings as a distraction when shopping.
– I hum to find peace in myself and always have headphones on. That way I shield myself from too many impressions. It is good for me to know what is right for me and what is not, she says.
There are also advantages to the diagnoses, believes Ida Lohmann. Without them, she would not be the person she is.
– For example, I am very empathetic, and in a room I can sense the needs of others, she says.
Ida also does not believe that she would be so creative and inventive without her impulsive brain – or have the ability to immerse herself for hours in a particular interest.
– I have come to a place now where I can easily see “the weird” about me, says Ida Lohmann and adds:
– Because of the investigation, I rest much more in myself now. It has given an inner peace.
Ida Lohmann wishes she had been diagnosed earlier in life.
– If I had known everything I know now, I could have avoided many years of exhaustion and self-blame, she says and adds:
– So I could have used my abilities much better without wearing myself out – and lived a life that was more gentle and adapted to me.
2024-11-10 18:01:00
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P>However, she never felt that she was good enough to pursue her passion for music seriously.
- I often thought that my dreams were unrealistic, but being around others who share similar experiences made me believe in myself again, she says.
This newfound support and understanding have encouraged her to explore her musical interests more actively.
– I have started to sing again, and it feels liberating. It’s a way for me to express myself and find joy amidst the challenges, she adds.
Moving Forward with Hope
Ida’s journey has been one of self-discovery and healing. With the help of therapy and community support, she is more optimistic about her future.
– I have learned that it’s okay to have setbacks, but it’s also essential to celebrate small victories, she reflects.
Ida is now looking forward to new opportunities—both in her personal life and her career. She hopes to inspire others facing similar struggles to seek help and embrace their true selves.
– Life is too precious to ignore our passions and dreams. I want to live authentically and encourage others to do the same, she concludes.