In a couple, the two individuals share many things, including their sleep. Indeed, according to a survey conducted by INSEE in 2010, most couples tend to synchronize their sleep. So they are 4 out of 5 couples go to bed and wake up at the same times.
A large majority of them also a designated place in the bed. According to relationship expert Jessica Alderson, it stems from the fact that human beings like to have habits. “We all have routines in our daily lives and our sleep patterns are no different. It’s comforting to feel exactly like you belong when you sleep at night,” she explains.
Nevertheless, more and more couples decide to sleep separately. Indeed, Ifop revealed in a 2021 survey that 10% of couples have separate bedrooms. However, if some do not want to spend the night with their spouse, this does not mean that they love each other less. But what is the best option?
Couple: do we sleep better alone or in pairs?
Sleeping with your loved one is often seen as idyllic and romantic. However, the reality is quite different. Between the snoring, the battle to grab the duvet or even space issues… Sharing a bed can quickly turn out to be a problem. Despite these questions of comfort, studies have already highlighted the benefits of sleeping together.
Jessica Alderson shared for the British media The Mirror what your way of sleep at night, with your spouse, meant. Still, she insists that while it may be indicative of your personality, there is no right or wrong solution.
“At the end of the day, there is no perfect solution in terms of a sleep routine. Just do what works for you as a couple, as long as you are both happy with this arrangement“, concludes the expert.
Sleep on the same side of the bed every time
The most common sleep habit in a couple therefore remains the fact of each having their own side of the bed. The relationship expert explains that this habit: “implies that you understand the importance of each other’s personal space“. She clarifies: “It creates an invisible and often unspoken boundary that allows both people to feel as if they have their own space.” Thus, this habit allows you to maintain your intimacy and a certain routine, while being with your partner.
The main problem therefore remains agree on the side of the bed. A 2022 survey of 3,000 people estimates that people who sleep on the left side are more positive and handle stress better than those who sleep on the right. On the contrary, the latter would be more irritable and would like their job more.
Change sides regularly
Next to 4% of couples would have the habit of regularly changing their place in bed. If for some people this may seem strange, the expert says that it is not a bad thing. Indeed, for Jessica Alderson, it might be a sign that the couple is “open to new experiencesShe explains, “It goes beyond just sleeping habits. Essentially, it’s a sign that routine isn’t a priority for them and that they are not afraid of change.”
Sleep in separate beds
If more and more couples decide to sleep separately, this choice can be the source of many judgments. Indeed, our society tends to estimate that if we love someone, we necessarily want to spend all our time with them, until we spend all our nights together. Thus, sleeping separately would be a sign that something is wrong in the couple. The relationship coach wants to reassure on this. Sleeping apart doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. According to Jessica Alderson, this habit would even have its benefits. “Sleeping in separate beds as a couple can be a liberating experience and allows everyone to have their own space“, she explains.
She explains: “When couples have separate beds, they can make their own choices regarding sleeping habits, such as following their preferences for temperature, bedding, and sleep routines. This can lead to a much better quality of sleep for both people, which can have a positive impact on all areas of their livesincluding the quality of their relationship together“.