If there is something that is difficult to recognize, it is that you are going through a depression. This is so because many people fear being rejected, criticized, labeled and stigmatized.
January 13 is World Day to Fight Depression and represents an opportunity to reiterate that this disease requires attention, compassion and understanding from family, friends and society in general, who have an important role in overcoming this disease.
A depressed person, apart from struggling with his mood, his thoughts and his listlessness, also has to go through the anguish of wanting to respond to his loved ones in a way that satisfies them, but he doesn’t know how to achieve that, simply because he doesn’t even He knows how to deal with what happens to him. For their part, family and friends want to help, but they also don’t know how, so psychoeducation is needed in both sectors to face and resolve the situation together.
People get depressed, even if they don’t say it
If there is something that is difficult to recognize, it is that you are going through a depression. This is so because many people fear being rejected, criticized, labeled and stigmatized for the mere fact of suffering from depression, therefore, they remain silent and when it is already evident, the picture has advanced significantly.
The important thing is to know that depression is a more common condition than any of us can imagine, which can happen to children, adolescents, young students or professionals, and older adults. It does not discriminate social or economic status, nor sex, although research indicates that it is more frequent in women.
There are beliefs that far from contributing to healing, exacerbate the depressive picture of those who suffer from it. Like, for example, the fact that a person is depressed means that:
· You are crazy.
· He is weak, because everything affects him.
· It is delicate, because everything bothers him.
· He is vulnerable, because he cries for everything.
· It is exaggerated, dramatic or manipulative and what it seeks is to attract attention.
· It is boring, because it does not encourage you to do anything.
· It is a group breaker, “black cloud” or asocial, because when he speaks he only expresses in a magnified and negative way what he sees or feels or spoils the moment.
· He does not have enough will and does not do his part to get out of the depressive state in which he is.
All these beliefs only make those who are depressed feel worse, none of them contribute to well-being or contribute to the solution. However, it is understood that the intention of family and friends is to encourage, motivate and help heal their loved one, but they do not know how to do it. In this sense, it is crucial to avoid these phrases, since every time a depressed person hears these types of expressions:
· She feels more alone and misunderstood, because she perceives that they do not understand what is happening to her.
· He isolates himself, because he feels that he does not fit in any environment.
· She is silent, because she believes that if she says what she feels and thinks, they will criticize her again.
· He is frightened by his frequent, negative and persistent irrational thoughts.
· He gets frustrated because he doesn’t want to feel that way and he doesn’t know how to get out of that situation.
You get exhausted, because you don’t sleep well or know how to make your mind stop
of so much negativity
· She gets angry because she is forced to do things she doesn’t want to do, be in places she doesn’t want to be and/or share with people she doesn’t want to share with, feigning joy that doesn’t exist.
· He gets confused and questions for not doing the right thing.
· It is proposed to seek more drastic and impulsive solutions.
· You feel guilty for hurting your family, partner and children.
· She feels upset for being upset.
Undoubtedly, this is a reflection that both parties feel bad, are disoriented and therefore it is a priority and urgent to seek specialized professional help that allows them to process and manage. face and heal depression.
The missing guide
Now that it is understood what is happening on both sides, it is necessary to take concrete and direct actions that contribute to healing. Let go of the paradigm that the patient “has to be strong and side with him” and instead:
· Accept that the patient is depressed and that this is not a reason for shame or guilt.
· Debunk myths about what depression means, to be able to support you in a functional and operational way.
Help and accompany you to the psychologist or psychiatrist, as the case may be.
· Listen with attention, compassion, patience, flexibility and openness.
· Understand their point of view and propose other options through questions and a more realistic perspective of things, without making judgments.
· Explore internal resources that you have used in other difficult experiences and that have helped you get out of them.
· Avoid criticism and labels.
· Pay attention to what is said regarding depression and/or how to address it.
· Calibrate emotions and be attentive to the signals that transmit some risk to life.
· To be unconditional in the affective, economic, emotional and mental aspects.
No one has the magic wand to solve all mental health problems, but a little patience, knowledge, resilience and compassion will contribute to the well-being and healing of the depressed person. Don’t stop helping!
Yamiilet Pinto
Psychologist
FPV 16.092
@yamiletpinto
yamipinto@gmail.com
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