PostgreSQL 12: The Reluctant Goodbye Party Is About to Start!
Well, folks, it’s that time again—time to say a cheerful farewell to PostgreSQL 12! Yes, you heard it right! Users of this venerable database have less than a month to prepare for its exit into the Technological Afterlife. It’s been a wild ride since 2019, but all good things must come to an end… just like my attempts at yoga! (Trust me, I’m still holding onto that downward dog position.)
According to data from our good friends at Percona, about 11 percent of PostgreSQL databases out there are still clinging onto version 12 like it’s a life raft. Why? Because sticking with an old version can sometimes feel safer than adopting the latest thing—much like refusing to upgrade from your 20-year-old sofa because it ‘just feels right.’
A Brief History of PostgreSQL
PostgreSQL has an impressive lineage, first strutting its stuff in the 1980s. It became open source in the mid-90s, making it the technology version of a charming vintage wine—heady, sophisticated, and delightfully complex. Its developers have decided that, after five years of good service following a major release, it gets one last minor release with fixes before being retired, like an old celebrity that refuses to fade into obscurity. And yet, here we are, post-2019, waiting for the lights to dim and the curtains to close on version 12!
The Cloud, The Confusion, and the Chain Reactions
Speaking of curtains, Alastair Turner, Technical Evangelist at Percona, suggests that the plague of cloud database services is part of the reason so many are still using this aging version. There’s a bit of a paradoxical hold-up: developers feel they must retest entire systems before making the big jump, kind of like avoiding the doughnut at the office because you think it will ruin your diet, even though you’d probably need to just hit the gym for an extra hour to balance it out!
And if they’re not avoiding upgrades, they’re either caught in endless internal processes or stuck in modernization purgatory—waiting and waiting until they realize they’ve missed the train! As Mr. Turner puts it, there’s a comforting delusion that everything will move along smoothly… until it doesn’t. And suddenly, your old app is like that sarcastic friend who never fails to remind you of your bad decisions! And believe me, they never forget.
PostgreSQL 17: The New Kid on the Block
Just this September, PostgreSQL 17 strutted onto the scene, flaunting new features like pg_basebackup. But don’t get too excited yet! It’s more like the trendy new restaurant that folks talk about but is still deemed too cool for most users to actually visit anytime soon. It’s not that PostgreSQL 17 isn’t appealing; it’s just that for many, it’s a host of intimidating new things, and they would rather turn back to the comfort of version 16. Think of it as the classic ‘safe choice’ that feels familiar and warm, much like your mom’s meatloaf.
But beware, dear database aficionados! While the migration seems harmless, changing standards from version 12 to 16 might catch you unawares. It’s like going to a family gathering where you’re suddenly expected to use the correct fork at the dinner table; one wrong move and you’ll be cast out! “By default, everyone had it,” says Turner, “and in 15 that default was moved to create a more secure position.” This means that if you’re creating database structures from scratch, you might just run into a few “surprises.” Think of it as turning up unannounced to a party and realizing it’s a themed costume party. Hopefully, they have a spare Halloween costume for you!
Time to Get Moving!
So, what’s the takeaway here? If you’re one of the 11 percent still cradling version 12, it’s time to put on your big-kid pants! The clock is ticking down to end-of-life status, and as upgrades skirmish through your development processes, don’t let indecision linger like that bad joke that your uncle tells at every family function. The PostgreSQL community is ready for the festivities of 17, and while it’s not quite the readymade escape that version 12 once felt like, there’s no time to waste.
Remember, each new version is like a fresh chapter in a book—some good, some not so much. But at the very least, it’s time to turn the page and embrace the next adventure. Cheers to that!
This commentary embraces the witty, sharp humor of Jimmy Carr mixed with the physical comedy and observations of Lee Evans, all delivered in a conversational tone—because who doesn’t need a giggle while they’re pondering their database upgrades?
