2023-05-01 18:30:00
Your 1 year old baby is too attached to his mom and he “sticks” to her all the time? Don’t panic: this phenomenon is normal and has a name: it is the “crampon period”. What is this ? How long is it ? Definition, details and recommendations of psychologists.
All parents experience “crampon period” at some point: it is a necessary step in parenthood. During this phase, thehe child cannot stay away from his parent for too long without crying. Two seconds without being in the arms of mom or dad and it’s guaranteed drama! Outburst of tears, of anger: he doesn’t let go of the parent, clings to him like a spike to his basketball. To sum up, he needs, at all times, to be close to the parent concerned: in his field of vision, next to him, and above all, in his arms.
Faced with such behavior, new parents will tend to be alarmed. Nevertheless, the crampon period is a completely normal phase. Indeed, this period is the theater of innumerable apprenticeships and is punctuated bymilestones in baby’s intellectual and physical development : it is at this moment that he learns to walk, that he begins to speak… This can therefore cause stress and anxiety in the latter. To cope with it, he will more often seek reassurance from his main attachment figure: you.
Besides the weight of these learning stages, there are also the life events to which he may be subjected. Some changes, whether they seem trivial or traumatic, can profoundly upset one’s balance entry to school, arrival of another child, moving house or divorce of both parents thus contribute to feed his inner insecurity ; hence its greater need to be secure.
If there is a systematic tendency to look to the child for answers to his behavior; in some cases, the answer is not within it but rather within its parent. As a psychologist advances to our colleagues in the media Enfant.com, this need for constant attachment may come from the parent holding on. The child may feel that his parent likes the attention given to him, that he appreciates this fusional mother-daughter/mother-son relationship, or that he himself needs to be reassured. So, to fill this need, he sticks it at will.
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Crampon period: when baby is too attached to mum… and not so much to dad
Most of the time, the “crampon period” concerns only the mother : it is to her that the baby is “stuck”, it is from her that he finds it difficult to separate. The explanation is all found: as the specialized psychologists affirm, the “cleat figure” is actually the parent who takes care of the baby the most in fact, the one who is the most present in the moments when he needs to be reassuredthe one who is most often reassuring.
However, this is not a cliché but a reality: statistically speaking, it is the mothers who are most present in these moments when the child is in emotional distress. To see this, just look at the baby sleep tasks. When the child cries in the middle of the night and needs to be reassured, it is the mothers who get up first, according to a study by theINSEE.* Thus, nearly 8 out of 10 mothers get up more often than their partner. This percentage drops to 41% when we focus on the fathers… It is logical that the child seeks security from the mother.
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Will it ever end?
Generally, the cramp period does not last long and does not exceed 1 year : psychiatrist Anne Raynaud, author of the book Safe child, happy childspecifies that the latter lasts between 3 and 9 months (i.e. during the infant’s first year of life). It actually stops when the toddler begins to walk and can begin to explore the world “alone”, without physically depending on the adult carrying him.
However, it happens that this crampon period extends up to 3 years ! The child then clings to his “referent” and “reassuring” adult even during this period when he tries to get rid of his parents and build his own identity: the famous “Terrible Two”.
THE attitudes and behaviors adopted by parents are then the key to accelerating baby’s “detachment” and helping him to move forward. Psychologists first recommend leaving a little more room and time for the other parent. Create moments specifically reserved for your partner and the child ; the goal being to build, strengthen their relationship, and show the toddler that he has another attachment figure on whom he can count if he needs to be reassured.
Besides “planning” for these times, child experts also advise to “step aside” and not intervene in spontaneous interactions between another adult and the baby, especially if you want to “correct” the behavior. of this concerned adult. Indeed, the message implicitly sent to the brat is not reassuring: he will be able to understand by this that you are the only person capable of taking care of him as well as possible.
Open-minded and in love with life, Emilie likes to decipher the new phenomena that shape society and relationships today. Her passion for the human being motivates her to write…
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