Top 10 Craziest Sexual Anecdotes About Historical Figures

I know you like history, and ass. You must therefore like ass historical anecdotes. Here are some fresh ones for your enjoyment. Keep in mind though that some may have been a little twisted over time, but behind these kinds of stories there is always some truth. And always a piece of ass.

1. Ernest Hemingway would have reassured Francis Scott Fitzgerald regarding the size of his penis

The two writers were friends for a while until they went their separate ways, and their friendship would have taken a rather intimate turn one day when they were in a café. That day, Francis allegedly told Ernest that his wife didn’t care regarding the size of his last. Ernest, as a good friend, would then have taken him to the bathroom to observe the beast before reassuring Francis by telling him that his cock was a perfectly normal size. Manly friendship is beautiful.

2. French President Félix Faure died from oral sex

On February 17, 1899, the death of Félix Faure marked the spirits for two reasons. First, he was the only President of the Republic to have died in the Élysée. Second, he died following a date with his mistress Marguerite Steinheil. Seeing that Felix was suffocating following she performed oral sex on him, Marguerite reportedly panicked and left the bedroom without putting her corset back on. The President is said to have died a little later from what is believed to be a stroke or cardiac arrest triggered by the treat. At the time, journalists had fun calling Marguerite Steinheil the “undertaker”, and it probably remains to this day one of the best journalist puns.

3. For the funeral of Victor Hugo, the prostitutes worked for free

Victor Hugo was a very regular client of Parisian brothels, and he had a lot of respect for prostitutes. In Wretched, for example, with Fantine, it was the first time that we had a prostitute character with positive moral values, and that, the sex workers really appreciated. So when Hugo died, a good number of them went to the funeral, and they spent the rest of the day working without charging customers. The nice gesture.

4. Queen Victoria loved sex (a lot)

Well, someone who likes ass, it’s quite common you will tell me, but during Victorian England, the delirium was more regarding Puritan values. So a queen of the time who does not hide to adore sleeping with her husband, and who writes in her diary a few days following her marriage “we didn’t get much sleep”, it’s a little off. It even seems that we might hear them fucking through the walls, but I mightn’t find any direct witness to confirm it, and then it happens in all hotels so it’s not crazy either.

5. Benjamin Franklin liked to get naked in front of his open window.

But do not believe that the guy was a big exhib. No, he was doing this for hygienic reasons. At the time, everyone believed that the cold was caught by catching cold (which is not true), but good old Ben did not believe in this theory. He told himself – rightly – that colds were caught because of germs that accumulated in poorly ventilated spaces. Suddenly, he took air baths by sitting in front of his open windows, and, as long as he might, getting naked thinking that it was even better for his health. It’s still a little exhib, it must be admitted.

6. Edgar Allan Poe married his 13-year-old cousin when he was 26

We talked regarding it in the top of the bastard writers : At 26, Edgar Allan Poe married his first cousin, Virginia Clemm, who was half his age. The worst part is that before marrying her, Edgar used his cousin as a messenger to transmit words of love to one of her neighbours. Not really a nice guy, this guy.

7. Nero castrated a slave who looked like his dead wife to use as his wife

Yeah, it’s awful, but the story is even more awful than that. We take it from the beginning: following killing his wife Poppea with kicks (yes), Nero set his sights on Sporus, a slave who, it is said, resembled Poppea. He had her castrated and then married her. In public, he introduced Sporus as his wife, and people played along by calling Sporus “madam” or “empress.”

It’s not over.

After Nero’s death, Sporus was given to a high official named Nymphidius Sabinus, who treated him as his wife and called him… Poppea. Then Sabinus died trying to become emperor.

It’s still not over.

Sporus was then taken by Emperor Otho, who had been married to… Poppea, before she left him and went into the arms of Nero. But soon enough, Otho is killed.

It’s almost done but not quite yet.

After Othon’s death, the new emperor, Vitellius, had decided to use Sporus to play the main role in the abduction of Prosperine (an episode from mythology) in a stadium before a gladiator fight. To avoid this humiliation, Sporus decided to commit suicide. He wasn’t even 20 years old. Now, when you think of someone who’s had bad luck in life, you might think of Sporus.

8. Alexander the Great had a eunuch lover

Alexander the Great’s bisexuality is no secret, and there was nothing shocking regarding it even in his day. But what is less said is that the Macedonian king had a romantic relationship with Bagoas, a Persian eunuch who was the lover of the king of Persia, Darius III. Alexander had “won” Bagoas following defeating Darius III in battle. Because yes, at the time, we might give people as gifts. Do not attempt to do so today, it is forbidden and morally questionable.

9. Guy de Maupassant had the pox and passed it on to others

A great lover of brothels, Maupassant inevitably ended up catching syphilis, a very unsavory and quite common STI at the time. But instead of being careful not to pass it on to his partners, the writer continued to go to brothels, which amused him a little too much considering what he wrote in a letter to a friend: “I fuck street whores, street whores and following having fucked them I tell them “I have pox”. » If you ask me, Maupassant didn’t seem like a very charitable person.

10. Catherine II of Russia is said to have had fatal sex with a horse.

Well, as you can imagine, the Empress most likely never had sex with a poor horse, but there are still a lot of rumors regarding Catoche’s sexual inclinations, so much so that we are starting to wonder questions. It is said that she was a nymphomaniac, that she had a friend with whom her suitors had to sleep first to validate them or not, or that she had a secret room dedicated to sex in which the table legs were cock-shaped, with vulvas carved into the wooden furniture. We certainly wanted to pass off Catoche for what she was not, just to discredit her, but people’s imaginations are fascinating all the same. Personally I just think she liked the ass, and she was right.