2023-11-30 18:29:16
Finding love is almost a stroke of luck and on many occasions, for different reasons, the process ends in fights and gigantic divorces. The above, of course, entails a series of emotional consequences for all those involved in the process, including the children because it is a fact that marks life and can affect their emotional development.
Catalina Sanz Jaramillo, Clinical Psychologist in alliance with RedPaPaz and Publimetro Colombia, gives a series of tips to prevent the youngest members of the home from suffering serious emotional consequences following a divorce.
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According to the expert, girls, boys and adolescents should be the first to know once the decision is final; it is recommended that parents be the ones to tell them what is happening. For this, it is also important that the couple reach agreements regarding what they will tell their daughters and sons, unifying the discourse so as not to give misleading or confusing messages. Conversations should be simple, short, clear and loving, ideally with both parents and all daughters and sons present.
Along those same lines, it is very important to always tell the truth according to what they can understand at their age. Girls, boys and adolescents always notice when something is not right and denying them can be counterproductive. Avoid inventing reasons to justify that one of the parents no longer lives at home or giving them information related to the couple’s intimacy.
Another key piece of advice in the divorce process is to avoid false promises regarding a possible reconciliation or attitudes that generate these ideas in girls, boys and adolescents. “We should never create negative images or disqualify the other person in front of their daughters and sons,” explains the expert.
Regarding the emotional issue and sensations, there must be clarity regarding the reasons for the divorce: explain to your daughters and sons that the separation is not their fault or their responsibility. Girls, boys and adolescents tend to experience feelings of guilt following their parents’ divorce. Also, it is vital to emphasize and be explicit that parental love does not change: both will continue to be your parents and love you even if you are separated. There is a separation of the parents as a couple, but not necessarily of the parents with their daughters and sons.
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Likewise, it is good to demonstrate the feelings that arise during the conversation. It is normal to cry, to accept the emotions you are feeling at the moment, so that girls, boys and adolescents also feel free to communicate what this news makes them feel. To the extent possible, it is helpful to make clear what routines and agreements will be like from that moment on. In this way, girls and boys will understand that the responsibilities of both parents remain with them, even if they are not together as a couple. It is also important that the routines are similar when girls, boys and adolescents are with each parent as this avoids confusion and gives a greater sense of normality.
Last but not least, if following these processes you consider that your child is having changes in behavior and seems sadder, do not hesitate to seek professional help.
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