2023-05-28 11:30:00
In the Wallonia-Brussels region, 4,000 children are cared for in foster families or in institutions. But last year, 600 children did not find long-term foster homes. They had to change their living quarters every month. This represents a lot of instability for children in lack of bearings.
In the Brussels region, about sixty children aged 0 to 7 live in the Notre Abri nursery. Chloé, Rahim or even Meghan each have a complicated family history. “The children are doing well and we are making sure to heal their wounds as a team“, explains Estelle Sohier, educational director of “Notre abri”.
These children are removed from their family environment by court order to protect them. Nearly one in two children in care has been the victim of neglect and one in three of abuse.
Psychological disorders of the parents, alcoholism, drug addiction, domestic violence… The reasons are multiple.
Alexis never cries
During the first months of his life, Alexis, 6 months old, had to learn to be forgotten, not to be disturbed. When he wakes up, he makes no sound. He is hungry, but no cries, no tears. Mélissa Verpaele, childcare worker, talks to him tenderly, because Alexis has to relearn how to be a baby who has the right to cry.
“He was hospitalized three weeks ago and the nurse told us it was easy because he never cried. And when he woke up, he was very quiet in his bed. He was looking around“, explains Mélissa Verpaele, childcare worker. “For us, it was not easy, it is problematic. He must call to eat, for the arms and not to be forgotten“, she adds.
Learn landmarks
Nursery nurses try to reassure, put rituals back in place, give points of reference. They adapt to each child, to each story. And their work is sometimes amazing.
“At first it’s really teaching them the most basic cues like sleeping in a bed at night“, confides the childcare worker. “A little one goes every night to lie on the carpet near her bed. It’s basic, but it hasn’t been a habit at home and so here you have to start from scratch and give all these little habits“.
“They wander between emergency services”
4,000 children are welcomed in institutions and with families in the Wallonia-Brussels region. But at least 600 little ones did not find a foster home last year. They have to change places of life every month, for lack of space. Julie Blondiau, director of an emergency reception center, talks about institutional mistreatment.
“When there is really no solution, children sometimes find themselves hospitalized without any medical reason, when this is not the most favorable place for a child who is not sick to develop. Due to a lack of available places, they will wander between emergency services until a place becomes available for them or until a long-term foster family is available for them.“, specifies Julie Blondiau, assistant director Accompaniment in emergency family reception. The children stay on average one year in the nursery.
A family for Éloïse
A few kilometers away, one-year-old Eloise has found a new home to grow up until her biological parents get better. “At 7 months, we were already his fifth house. It was a lot of changes for such a little baby“, says Béatrice, mother of 3 children, two of whom are already grown up. The youngest, Eliott, now has a little sister, because Eloïse is part of the family.
Béatrice and Alain wondered what the little girl was going to call them. Eventually, the words “mom” and “dad” came naturally.
“At the beginning, when we take the step, we obviously ask ourselves a lot of questions about names, relationships… Are we a real dad and a real mom? Is this a real family? After all the steps, things are very clear“, specifies Alain.
This is the first time that the family has welcomed a child in difficulty. “We said to ourselves at one point that we were already very lucky to have three children with whom we get along well and who are happy and that it would be nice to include someone in this family, someone who was maybe a little less lucky at the start“, details Beatrice.
The procedure to become a host family takes an average of 9 months. If you are interested, go to www.familledaccueil.be.
Béatrice and Alain hope that new host families will join them in their approach.
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