“Why do you love each other?”, “The strangest pair of chopsticks in showbiz”, “You must love to play but not for long”, … are countless prejudices that “people” accidentally or intentionally “give” to Khanh Thi – Phan Hien. These words made their road to happiness more arduous, more tearful.
However, following 13 years, the couple still appeared hand in hand, smiling happily to welcome the new year. More than anyone else, they are enjoying this life, of their own, following their newlywed days as a married couple.
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Looking back at the wedding, Khanh Thi – Phan Hien said that she only knew “panic” because she was too tired and had many things to do. Photo: Huynh Duy. |
Controversy over the word “identity”
Overcoming many hardships to reach the shore of happiness together, but the wedding Khanh Thi – Phan Hien still controversial. Because during the interrogation ceremony, the groom’s grandmother said, “Today, the family officially gives Thi a title”. The groom also followed her, telling Khanh Thi, “Today I give you the official title.
In this era, the word “identity” appeared in the groom’s speech at the wedding, causing an immediate controversy. Because the word itself is said to have a feudal, antiquated meaning and somewhat disrespect women.
– You are the person in the story being discussed, Khanh Thi – Phan Hien, what do you think?
Phan Hien: I also read comments on social networks. Most people think that my family does not accept Thi. But in fact, my family has accepted my wife for a long time.
I told her that although we have been together for a long time, it is not official yet, so please make a brief statement so that everyone understands that this is an official ceremony, that’s all.
Many people don’t know, but I don’t have time to go online to explain those issues. In my opinion, the word “identity” seems to be the closest to the purpose I want.
Khanh Thi: Honestly, at that time, I didn’t hear anything, I just knew that she spoke and loved me very much. That day, she said for a long time, roughly saying that she loved her granddaughter-in-law, would support her grandson and “frustrate” her grandson. She emphasized that Hien must not bully Thi, because she has a “protector”.
The saying that people spread on the internet is just a cut, if you listen to the whole paragraph, you will find it very funny, because she said it funny and very good. As for the word “reputation”, she was actually an adult, so I used that word, I was only touched when I heard it, but didn’t pay much attention.
Phan Hien: I think other than “name”, it is difficult to have words to describe them all. If you use “official wife”, it sounds very strange.
Khanh Thi: Official “name”, “destiny” to be a wife, to be a bride. Actually, we didn’t register our marriage until before the wedding day. So that’s what she meant. Old people are adults, so they use the old word, but it’s also the standard word.
Nowadays, social networks develop, everyone has the right to freely comment. I think most of the reviewers are young people. If it was her generation, people would consider it normal.
– It is reasonable to think that she is an adult, so it is reasonable to use the old word, but Phan Hien is a young man, very modern, but still uses this word with this very feudal meaning?
Phan Hien: I think I am also influenced by her, because the two of us often have conversations with each other, she is also the one who raised me. Moreover, it is impossible to force her to use the language of young people, because that is very difficult. She used that word, so I followed her.
I was also very surprised when that sentence of my grandmother and I went viral. Because in the beginning, my purpose was to say how to make the most sense of what I wanted to send to Thi. We never thought our wedding would be treated like this before. Since it’s the wedding day, I don’t take it out for views.
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The couple said that they feel that “destiny” is a normal, standard word and close to the meaning they want. Photo: Khanh Thi Phan Hien. |
“Love once more from the beginning”
Together for 13 years, experiencing joy, sadness, anger and many emotions in life, but following the wedding day, Khanh Thi – Phan Hien still thought they were “son and wife”. Basically, their activities, lifestyle or everything is the same, only the feelings are different. This couple also mightn’t explain, just knew that they were “in love from the beginning” because everything was so new.
Before, they met each other, not thinking that the other would be deeply attached to their lives later. However, with much effort, they come together.
– What was your first impression when you met?
Phan Hien: Beautiful (looks at his wife and smiles).
Khanh Thi: Actually, when I first met, I didn’t think Hien liked me, mightn’t imagine this person would be my husband later. I met only with the attitude of being a teacher, invited to teach dance.
As a dance instructor, I love body language. When I started to interact a lot, Hien’s dancing touched me, not because he has a good body or handsome. He danced and shocked me and liked it, because people dance a lot like Europe, do more than what I teach and can do things I can’t.
For a while following teaching, I had feelings and was attracted to Hien. He is very gallant, always by my side when I need it, so “it rains for a long time”.
In the past, Hien did not know how to ride a motorbike, so I taught him to ride on my motorbike. Everywhere he went, he carried all the things, put on a helmet, put on a footrest, carried a bag, even shoes, for me. These things I have not yet told people to do, and even better than what I wanted.
Phan Hien: In the Southern language, it means “most teeth” (laughs).
– What is the reason that Phan Hien decided to “adult” his teacher?
Phan Hien: At first, Thi had someone by her side, so I didn’t have that thought. Moreover, this girl is my teacher, not the same age, so I also hesitated. After regarding a year, I realized that if I had feelings for her, there was also a chance, meaning that Thi was single, I immediately grasped it and succeeded (laughs).
Khanh Thi: Yes, my husband is very “devious” (laughs).
Phan Hien: It’s not cunning, it’s regarding taking the opportunity (looking at his wife and smiling).
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Khanh Thi confided that despite the big age difference, her husband always made her feel loved and pampered. Photo: Khanh Thi Phan Hien. |
– What exactly is the opportunity?
Phan Hien: At that time, Thi and her lover broke up, there were often conflicts, so I felt guilty.
Khanh Thi: Only 16 years old, but feel guilty regarding the teacher?
Phan Hien: At first, I did not intend to “saw”, just take care. But at that time, Thi and I and a cousin (who learned to dance with Phan Hien – PV) were together quite a lot, and over time, feelings arose, so we moved on.
Khanh Thi: I have taught and interacted with many friends at the age of 15-16. Hien was within reach when he met me, so he understood psychology very well. Knowing that at that time, Hien only liked me, not loved me, it was admiration that flashed in his head, because feelings at that age were often like that. But I myself was “tricked”, giving them the feeling that I also liked them, so I moved on.
After that, Hien also liked other people, at that time I was a bit jealous. Not that Hien “cuckolded”, because we were not in an official relationship at that time. The two people “push and give” so their feelings become closer, and so on into love. And when Hien didn’t have time to grow up, there was Kupi, then he was only 22 years old (laughs).
– The moment she knew her lover liked someone else, how did Khanh Thi react?
Khanh Thi: Actually, at that time, neither he nor I openly loved each other. It was only when Kupi was together that everyone knew we were a couple.
When he was texting with this person, I got a little jealous. But no matter how many times he gets jealous, he still comes back, still chooses me as his wife, maybe the person he loves the most.
Jealousy
Compared with happiness outside, but in daily life, Thi – Hien also has many disagreements. Khanh Thi said she is quite emotional and hot-tempered, sometimes arguing because of her angry moments.
Knowing that his wife lived emotionally, Phan Hien was always calm and silent at that time. He said that trying to “fuel the fire” did nothing, only made the problem worse, so he “waited for her to calm down before we sat down to talk”.
Many times Khanh Thi – Phan Hien quarreled, so loud that she carried her suitcase out of the house. However, when she calmed down, she returned. At that time, both Kupi – Anna (2 of their children – PV) saw. Therefore, they decided to sit down and have a serious talk with each other, so that I don’t have to see these scenes anymore.
Phan Hien said, Kupi is a very emotional and delicate person. Because he witnessed his parents arguing, before going to bed, the boy often clasped his hands in prayer, asking God for his parents to love each other. This makes them love and live for each other and for their children even more.
– Starting with feelings of admiration and emotion when seeing each other dance, together until this moment, what is the link between brothers and sisters?
Khanh Thi: Many people put their children first, that’s right, but for me another important part is love. Mostly husband and wife love each other and want to live next to each other.
– Ever been told harsh words regarding age, position, how did you overcome?
Khanh Thi: Hien and I used to hide and be afraid. I also experienced the feeling of being forced to forget my age when walking next to Hien. But Mr. Hien always gives me the feeling that he is my lover. When I was pregnant, social media was in vogue, and we got a lot of talk.
As an artist myself, I am also very sensitive and stressed. Someone even told us “to see how long we can love”, that is, no one believes that we can be together for a long time. Ignoring the reaction of the family, at that time the discussion of society also put pressure on us. Because in addition to our age, we were also told because of the love between you and me, which is not standard for many people.
Phan Hien: I used to be quite calm. At that time I also listen to people, see what they say. But all I know is that I choose her, must really love this woman so that she doesn’t feel anxious, being looked at and judged by others. I think other people don’t live their lives, so I choose not to mind those words.
– As a dancer, Phan Hien has to interact a lot with female dancers, is Khanh Thi jealous?
Khanh Thi: Yes, women are not jealous. In the past, Hien and I often quarreled because I often watched him dance, there were inhibitions that might not be said.
Before the epidemic season, Hien and I decided to stop teaching dance, Hien practiced and studied by herself. When I work as a coach, because I want to be good for my husband, I often force him to love and cuddle with my co-star, then when I get home, I get upset, so it’s best not to do it.
Really because I want his career to be longer and better, I was the one to choose his co-star. It can also be said that I am the one who “initiates” and “pushes opportunities” for people, so I can’t blame anyone (laughs). Later, we found a solution to not watch him dance with female friends anymore.
– As for me, what did Phan Hien do to make his wife feel secure?
Phan Hien: Actually, I’m fortunate to be able to practice at home, basically in the gym, there are CCTV cameras, but the important thing is in myself. Although the physical distance will be close, I always use a safe distance with my colleagues, so that my wife does not get jealous.
Next, my wife has also been through many tournaments, so she understands what work needs and what factors can achieve the highest results. Since then, the couple has reconciled everything.
Tet of the “son and wife”
– How does your family usually celebrate Tet?
Phan Hien: During Tet, I usually spend the 1st day with my paternal family, the extended family gathers together. After that, Thi and her mother-in-law went to the temple, and then the couple went to visit friends around.
– What is the most memorable Tet for you?
Phan Hien: The most memorable Tet is probably the first Tet when Thi was able to come home to my house. Thi may be a bit shocked with the family culture because my house is a bit crowded, the address also causes a lot of confusion.
Khanh Thi: Actually, I have known Hien’s family for a long time, Hien’s parents called me a teacher because I taught Hien dance. But the first Tet, everything was reversed, the way of addressing was also reversed. Normally, I’m the teacher’s role, so I can sit on the upper tray, then when I come back to be the niece-in-law, I sit on the lower tray, everything is turned upside down (laughs).
– Have you ever had to perform on Tet holiday?
Phan Hien: Yes, there are years when I have to perform until the 30th of Tet, sitting in the car and watching fireworks. At that time, both wanted a better life, so they took advantage of running shows, especially during Tet.
Khanh Thi: Many shows only get 3-4 million VND. On the 1st day of the New Year, following counting the money, in the followingnoon, I started performing once more, plowing hard to earn some money. Until the two are more or less stable, economic life changes, there is no longer a need to earn money on New Year’s Day.
– In your opinion, how will the first Tet following the wedding be different from the previous ones?
Phan Hien: This Tet holiday has a small special. If she returns to her hometown, Anna will be able to go to Hanoi for the first time, the whole family will have many memories together.
