“The person who has taken on the role of caregiver must have help from a psychologist to cope. Not being remembered by your parent hits you so hard that it’s impossible not to shake your psychological part. The man is alive but as if he is gone. At one point absolute madness prevailed in the house, both with the girls who came for care and with us as well. The confusion was contagious, especially while my mother was talking,” Eleni Radou said initially.
And he continued: “Many traumas, even if you become aware of them, it does not mean that you solve them.” After incredible work I’ve done on myself I haven’t been able to change, I’ve just been able to understand why I do what I do. I tried to calm the monster inside me.”
Speaking about the first symptom of dementia, the actress explained: “The first symptom of dementia is a lack of emotion. The emotions that are born are very aggressive. My mother is in a phase where she does not speak. She needs to take care of a baby. Out of the whole family, one will become a caregiver. You are as dependent on the sick person as he is on you. There were many moments where I took it personally and was hurt by the fact that I was taking care of my mother but not getting love because with the disease she can’t feel any of that. I go to my mother every day because I have a fear that if I leave days, they won’t know me at all. You fight your own ghosts when you have a person with dementia. You learn to give completely selflessly, that you do it once for your child and then for your parent.”
“Many times I walk in and see her look hostile and leave in pieces. I’m having a hard time dealing with all of this. I have happened to tell her “don’t look at me like that again because I will throw you off the balcony”. I am constantly talking to myself and stressing to him what I need to do. It is hard to believe that it is a person who is sick and not your mother. The guilt I felt about my mother going to a special place she attended was devastating, because at home I felt in control. He suffered a stroke and needed hospital support,” added Eleni Radou at another point.
To the possibility of disconnecting her mother in order not to suffer, Eleni Radou replied: “People leave us in difficult times. Now that my mother is in a difficult situation, I don’t want to leave her side. I like that I don’t give up the fight, in a battle that is lost. When my mother passes away, there may be a horrible redemption, yet I have never wished her away to be redeemed. The fact that I still go there, see her and touch her, I can’t change that. This has been going on for about six years. If my mother asked me to disconnect her, I would tell her to go elsewhere, I couldn’t do it. No one is ready for death.”
Finally, Eleni Radou admitted that she would like her daughter to treat her like she did her mother in case she was suffering from dementia.
“If I had dementia when I was growing up, I would want my daughter to be treated the same as I am with my mother. I am not honored by what I say, but I would like to. I wouldn’t like to be abandoned”, concluded Eleni Radou.
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