2024-04-26 13:32:03
26 avril 2024
When it comes to apologies, both form and content are important: of course, we don’t apologize but we apologize to the other person. And this, during a process which meets several major rules. Which ones?
Know how to apologize without overdoing it but while remaining courteous. It is not so easy to find the right tone when it comes time to be forgiven. “ Apologizing is a form of humility », underlines Line Mourey, psychologist. “ This is important to clarify because some people view this as an admission of weakness. »… Others, on the other hand, tend to apologize too much. “ It is a sign of lack of self-confidence, of fear of being rejected. We almost apologize for existing… In this case, it is relevant to take the time to question the meaning of the excuse: does this or that really deserve an apology… »
For the rest, when the offense appears real, take note of these five main rules:
– Relax, without rushing. « Taking a little time allows emotions to subside, which is a better approach to facilitate communication », Expresses Line Mourey. This time also allows the offender to reflect on his action;
– Approach gently : « this involves requesting availability from the person concerned. Preferably face to face “, she continues. And then of course, to accept its temporality;
– Be sincere : Know that “ a forced or polite apology nullifies any remedial effect…”, continues the psychologist. Apologies must therefore be genuine;
– Acknowledge your responsibility : « we don’t give up, we assume “, she blurted. “And above all, no ‘but’…” Like: “ But you know, it’s complicated at the moment…” No, we recognize our faults and we take responsibility for the situation. “ Which doesn’t stop you from verbalizing what you feel, how much your own reaction frightened you and had an impact on you. And how important the relationship you have with the offended person is to you. » So many elements which make it possible, in some way, to provide elements of understanding and “ generate in her, a form of empathy » ;
– Ask for forgiveness : « Just because you apologize doesn’t mean you get forgiveness.…”, she warns.
“Superpowers”
Faced with a refusal, stay in your bubble of humility! “ The challenge remains to legitimize and validate the feelings of your interlocutor », Recommends Line Mourey. And this from language elements like: “ I understand that you need time, that it is difficult for you »… In such a situation, be sure to let him come back, whenever he wants… And conclude: “ a well-presented apology has superpowers in the sense that it strengthens a relationship! »
Source: Interview with Line Mourey, psychologist (April 18, 2024
Written by: David Picot – Edited by Emmanuel Ducreuzet
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