2023-09-25 07:18:00
The triple murderer Michel Bellens raped Fanny when she was 13, for 5 years: ©DR
Michel Bellens expired six days following being sentenced in 2015, despite having denied almost everything, to ten years in prison for having traumatized and defiled Fanny for life. He died free when he had 10 days to report to prison. And this, following a trial which this young girl, flayed alive, was unable to attend: “I was in the middle of a major depression.”
Michel Bellens dies 10 days following being sentenced to 10 years
This file, dizzying with atrocities, rapes, amplified by beatings, was the last plundering of the life of Michel Bellens who already exhibited, from the height of his darkness, a past since 1980 marked by thirty-five years of prison records. . At the age of 14, he killed his own father with a bullet to the head, stabbed a musician to death two weeks later and killed a young person in 1990 in a fight in Jumet. It is with this gloomy father figure that Fanny will have somehow grown up and “tasted” in the Charleroi region.
Fanny Dolinski was raped in Charleroi from the age of 13 by her stepfather, the triple murderer Michel Bellens. ©DR
”I never saw him dead. And no one else, it seems. His family was told that they were closing the coffin directly because it was ugly. It’s okay, it was just a natural death, not a car accident. He knew people. Yes, I still have doubts regarding his death. And others too. And I always will. Until we exhume him. While he was feeling scorched for what he had done to me, he told me “If I’m fooled, I’ll either pretend to be dead or I’ll leave Belgium”. Today, when I have nightmares, it’s not regarding rape scenes, it’s regarding seeing him still alive.”
“I feel everything in excess. When I’m sad, angry, anxious, it’s extreme.”
Fanny inherited this demonic slice of life a borderline personality disorder (borderline state) : “I feel everything in excess. When I’m sad, angry, anxious, it’s extreme. When I have moments of happiness, it’s extreme too. I am making progress in managing my emotions but there is still disproportion. I also developed a great emotional dependence, sometimes even if it meant being blinded by my interlocutors. I am only beginning to manage my anger through my behavioral therapy. I feel out of step with people my age. There is something dull, they haven’t experienced what I experienced. Sometimes I manage to get out, sometimes I don’t.”
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I developed hypersexualization. A way to reclaim my body.
His body is buried in tattoos: “It’s therapy. I was full of scars. Because of the beatings but also because I self-harmed a lot. Even if it means suffering, as much as it is when applying tattoos, as much as it is artistic and as much as it tells part of my story.” One of them, placed above the right eye is a word: “Broken”, for “broken heart”, “so that no one denies what I experienced.”
Fanny is not physically modest. At least, she isn’t anymore. “My first sexual relations with partners were tedious, I was unable to access pleasure.” As she worked on herself, the young woman was able to let go, even once morest the grain: “I developed hypersexualization. A way to reclaim my body.”
The young woman, who today lives in Louvain-la-Neuve, took years to become aware of her victim status. As a teenager, she was no longer herself: “Her posture was that of the savior of the family. He made me call him ‘daddy’. He didn’t want me to go to school. Where I might have been in contact with boys. He was already telling me, at 12, ‘I’m interested in you. You’re not ready but it’s me who, later, will make you a woman.’“
In the end, Michel Aubens only waited a year…
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At the time of the rape, we are not there but it is as if we were not there. We see the scene from the outside. We see what we experience as if we were in front of a screen, a horror film. This perception, this disorder, is a means of defense of the brain.
”From the rapes, I developed a depersonalization disorder, which still arises sometimes today when I have major moments of stress and fatigue. At the time of the rape, we are not there but it is as if we were not there. We see the scene from the outside. We see what we experience as if we were in front of a screen, a horror film. This perception, this disorder, is a means of defense of the brain. “
Later, it is terror that will seize her when she spills everything in front of the police, a course that she nevertheless overcomes: “Imagine. Until then, I was in denial out of fear. And here I had to accuse someone who had killed his own father, a triple murderer. And then the police just ask you if you want a copy of your interview and let you go home to where he always is.”
“I suspected he would think the complaint came from me. I was 17, so I ran away.”
Before this act, Fanny had spent a day with a friend of her mother. “This woman is going to make me smoke a joint and I confide. She told me that she felt like my stepfather was keeping me for himself, that this way of acting was suspicious and not normal. And then I realize that people know what I experienced and continue to experience but do nothing. Stunned, I then had a bad trip.”
It is from there that the one who was still a minor (17 years old) will consult. “A psychologist betrayed professional secrecy and drew attention to my generalized anxiety and revealed the context in which I was living. I was sent to the Van Gogh psychiatric hospital and confided in the staff.”
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Every day, a lady from the PMS center took me in and out of school in her car trunk so that he wouldn’t suspect anything.
But Michel Bellens is still on the prowl. Until opting for a kidnapping during a swimming pool outing and an escape for two towards woods isolated from everything, cut off from the world, equipped with sleeping bags and food. “After a week, he learned from my mother that there was a big deployment to find us. We reappear. And the police send me back to my mother.”
Another trigger: the day when Michel Bellens beat up Fanny in the parking lot of a store for a trivial reason: “An anonymous complaint was filed by a witness. But it was thanks to this complaint that I was interviewed by the police. I suspected he would think the complaint came from me. I was 17, so I ran away. Every day, a lady from the PMS center took me in and out of school in her car trunk so that he wouldn’t suspect anything. I lived on the streets too. I was discovering the world.”
Today, Fanny still fears work. At least in certain unfulfilling conditions. “I worked in the Horeca industry. It’s stressful. And the stress makes me sink back. I still have times of anxiety and times when I’m okay. I started improvisation classes. I doairsoft (Editor’s note. A hobby where participants use replica firearms with plastic pellets), it helps me let off steam. I have a disability recognition for post-traumatic stress but my desire is to work in a tattoo parlor. And I hope one day to achieve my life goal, to have my home, a secure place to flourish with my children. I will probably lose my current accommodation. If anyone is willing to rent me a three bedroom before winter, that would be wonderful”
Keen to share her journey towards well-being and to help anyone suffering from personality disorders like her, Fanny created the Facebook group “Aide Depersonalisation derealisation borderline.” A place for discussion but also for sharing enlightening articles…
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