The detailed account of their IVF journey—and the challenging experiences they faced—greatly influenced the couple’s eventual choice to pursue surrogacy. Both Ben and Georgie candidly acknowledge that if the decision had rested solely with Ben, they may have decided to abandon their plans after enduring yet another heartbreaking miscarriage. By this stage in their journey, Ben was genuinely concerned about Georgie’s physical and emotional well-being. Despite this, Georgie remained resolute; she still had two viable donor eggs left and was adamant about moving forward. “I persisted and eventually we did get there,” she reflects with satisfaction. “I’m so glad you did,” Ben responds supportively.
Initially, surrogacy—a process where another woman carries a baby for those unable to conceive—was not a consideration for either of them. Georgie admits that, in all likelihood, they would have never contemplated it had they not witnessed a family friend achieve a successful surrogacy experience in the United States. This personal connection played a significant role in reshaping their perspective.
It’s worth noting that surrogacy remains illegal in several European nations, including Italy, Spain, France, and Germany. In these countries, the practice is often deemed unethical, perceived as exploitative toward the surrogate, and can lead to complications for the newborn.
Ben and Georgie took a considerable amount of time deliberating their decision, a process that was notably extended due to the COVID-19 pandemic, which temporarily shuttered IVF clinics. They even deliberated the possibility of adoption but ultimately favored the idea of maintaining a biological connection to their child. They expressed comfort with the idea of surrogacy, believing strongly that “as long as everyone involved had a choice — donors, surrogates, intended parents,” it could be a viable option. “I think women have the right to determine what they do with their bodies,” Georgie asserts passionately.
‘Surrogacy should be professionalised as much as possible’
They ultimately decided to pursue surrogacy in the United States, drawn by its reputation for being “so well-regulated there.” However, they remain cautiously aware of the potential implications a second Trump administration might hold for these regulations. The president-elect, known for his unpredictable stances on issues like IVF and abortion, has hinted at the possibility of revoking birthright citizenship, a move ostensibly aimed at curtailing illegal immigration but which could inadvertently affect children born through surrogacy in the United States. Their child, Fox, for instance, holds a US passport.
Nevertheless, current surrogacy law in the US is quite clear: the surrogate is required to sign over parental guardianship to the intended parents at the six-month mark of pregnancy. In stark contrast, the legal framework in the UK does not allow for compensated surrogacy, meaning the surrogate is recorded on the birth certificate until parenthood is transferred via a parental order. Unfortunately, this process can sometimes falter if the surrogate has second thoughts.
From Ben and Georgie’s standpoint, the American system offers a much more robust and clear-cut arrangement. “Surrogacy should be professionalised as much as possible,” Ben states emphatically. “And the outcome [in the US] is clear: by six months into the pregnancy, the surrogate signs over parental rights to the intended parents. That structure minimizes potential conflicts.”
While they readily acknowledge the prohibitively high costs associated with surrogacy—amounting to tens of thousands of pounds—they also point out that the financial barrier is similarly steep for IVF in the UK, costing around £10,000 per cycle if one cannot access NHS services. “Sadly, right now, it is yes,” Georgie reflects. “And I fully recognize we were in an exceptionally privileged position that allowed us to pursue this. However, I don’t believe it should remain that way indefinitely. The same goes for IVF—what can we do to create fairer access?”
‘Bellatrix knows that Fox had a Tummy Mummy’
The ethical dilemmas surrounding their choice felt manageable for them to navigate, as the transition from using a donor egg implanted in Georgie’s womb to employing a surrogate felt like a natural progression. “We had already tried using Ben’s sperm, a donor egg, and my womb, so this felt like the last step in our IVF journey: Ben’s sperm, a donor egg, and a surrogate carrier. Once we reached that conclusion, we were steadfast.”
Having chosen their egg donor before Georgie’s final IVF attempt—an entirely anonymous process that involves sifting through countless profiles—they found a surrogate based in California through an agency. Shortly thereafter, two eggs were implanted, coinciding with the lead-up to the 2021 America’s Cup in New Zealand.
“It was a crazy time,” Georgie remembers. “Really intense. We were all living out there, navigating COVID, fully aware that our baby Fox was developing on the other side of the globe. My daughter Bellatrix was just four at that time, attending a nursery in Auckland. I vividly recall picking her up one day when her teacher approached me, saying: ‘Can I have a word? Bellatrix has been absolutely wonderful today, but she mentioned, ‘After this, you and Daddy and her are going to America, because you’ve got to collect her baby brother’.”
Georgie and Ben opted for transparency when discussing Fox’s conception with Bellatrix, recognizing that Georgie was not carrying the child herself. They believed that keeping her in the loop from the outset would eliminate confusion down the line. “I learned this from a friend who had already gone through the process: no shocks or surprises. It’s more effective to share information gradually. The same applied to Bellatrix’s IVF story; many of her friends share similar concepts. She understands that Fox had a ‘Tummy Mummy.’ We maintain a very open dialogue.”
‘The surrogate was amazing – she was clear she was very good at pregnancy’
The experience of the birth itself was an emotional rollercoaster for the family. Upon traveling to the States in the summer of 2021, they turned the trip into a family road adventure. Ben even skipped a few SailGP races under the guise of ‘personal reasons,’ demonstrating the significance of this journey. Reflecting on their choice of surrogacy, they felt fortunate to be navigating the procedure in the United States because of the professionalism exhibited by the clinics, the sensitivity of the hospital staff toward all involved parties, and the exceptional experience provided by their surrogate. With six of her own children and experience as a surrogate twice, she brought a wealth of knowledge to the table. “She was absolutely amazing,” Ben recalls. “Not being funny, but that was also a critical aspect. She was clear that she was highly skilled at pregnancy. And she absolutely was.”
This delivery marked the first occasion they met their surrogate face-to-face. However, Georgie emphasizes that during their initial interactions via Zoom, they quickly recognized compatibility. “I would have no hesitation reaching out to her now, or allowing Fox to meet her later in life should he choose to do so. If her anonymity were ever to be lifted, Fox could certainly reach out. “That is his prerogative,” she clarifies. “The surrogate was incredible, and the experience of giving birth was deeply emotional. There was this magical moment when everything converged. Our lovely surrogate was in labor, and that whole experience bonded us in a uniquely profound way.”
Particularly memorable for Ben was the surrogate’s thoughtful actions following the birth. “After going through all of the necessary checks, she seemed keen to share that monumental moment with us. We, in turn, were eager for her to join in. However, she quickly asserted, ‘Right, I need to leave. This is your moment now.’ The pacing of these moments was entirely on her terms, and we were acutely aware and appreciative of how significant this journey was for her.”
Back in London, preparations are underway as construction workers navigate the stairs of their home, focused on renovations. The couple is heading out to scout potential schools for Fox, eagerly anticipating his entrance into reception class next year. Looking back, they do not harbor any regrets. “Never in a million years could we regret anything because it’s been the most positive outcome you could ever possibly have,” Georgie affirms. “It feels as though Fox understands the effort it took to bring him into this world, and thus he possesses a sense of gratitude for being here.”
**Interview with Ben and Georgie: Navigating the Journey of Surrogacy**
*Interviewer*: Thank you both for joining us today. Your journey through surrogacy is inspiring and sheds light on many important aspects of this process. Let’s start with what initially led you to consider surrogacy.
**Ben**: Initially, it wasn’t even on our radar. We went through a tough IVF journey with its own set of heartbreaks, particularly after multiple miscarriages. I was genuinely worried about Georgie’s health – both physically and emotionally. It was Georgie’s determination that kept us moving forward.
**Georgie**: Yes, I had two viable donor eggs left, and I was adamant about making this work. It was truly a rollercoaster, but my persistence paid off in the end.
*Interviewer*: That persistence must have been challenging. What ultimately influenced your decision to pursue surrogacy, especially when you initially hadn’t considered it?
**Georgie**: Watching a family friend successfully navigate surrogacy opened our eyes. It made us reconsider our options and view surrogacy in a positive light.
**Ben**: Exactly. However, we were also very aware of the legal and ethical complexities surrounding surrogacy, especially in certain European countries where it remains illegal or heavily regulated.
*Interviewer*: You mentioned the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on your decision-making process. How did this uncertainty affect your journey?
**Georgie**: It extended our timeline significantly as IVF clinics were temporarily closed. We contemplated other avenues, including adoption, but ultimately desired a biological connection to our child.
*Interviewer*: The cost of surrogacy can be astronomical, especially compared to fertility treatments. How did you respond to that realization?
**Ben**: We were in a privileged position, which allowed us to pursue surrogacy. But it’s a huge financial commitment. We need to start conversations about making surrogacy and IVF more accessible to everyone.
*Interviewer*: You ultimately chose to pursue surrogacy in the United States. What made you feel comfortable with that decision?
**Georgie**: The regulations in the US are comprehensive and professional, which gave us a sense of security. We were aware that the legal framework ensures a clearer transition of parental rights, something we didn’t see in the UK.
**Ben**: And the experience we had with our surrogate was exceptional. She was knowledgeable and had navigated her own pregnancies expertly.
*Interviewer*: Navigating this process requires substantial emotional intelligence, especially with your daughter Bellatrix involved. How have you discussed Fox’s story with her?
**Georgie**: We chose to be very open with Bellatrix from the beginning. We wanted to eliminate any confusion down the line. She knows about Fox having a “Tummy Mummy,” and it’s important for us that she understands our family’s journey.
*Interviewer*: That honest communication is crucial. Reflecting on your entire experience, what would you say to others considering surrogacy?
**Ben**: It should be a well-regulated, transparent process. It’s vital to ensure that everyone involved—donors, surrogates, and intended parents—has a clear choice.
**Georgie**: Yes, if we can navigate the ethical complexities and ensure open communication, surrogacy can be a beautiful path to family building.
*Interviewer*: Thank you, Ben and Georgie, for sharing your story. Your insights into the surrogacy process can be invaluable to others facing similar decisions. We wish you and your family all the best!
