2024-01-06 21:40:00
Existing studies suggest that the absence of social support for crystal children can contribute to feelings of social isolation, stress, and other negative outcomes for their mental health (Getty Images)
Glass child syndrome is not a psychological condition or diagnosis. It is a metaphor used to describe the feelings and experiences of siblings of children who suffer from chronic illnesses or disabilities. In a 2010 TEDx talk, speaker Alicia Arena said, “Crystal children take on caring responsibilities, and we are naturally conditioned to not have any problems,” she said. “We are supposed to be perfect. When someone asks us how we are, the answer is always: ‘I’m fine.’”
And he explained that they are called glass children because parents are so consumed by the needs of children with illnesses or disabilities that when they look at them, they pass through them as if they were transparent, made of glass.
Disabilities and diseases not only affect the child who suffers from them, but also their environment: family, social, community, etc. In most cases, siblings provide support and a different relationship than that established between parents and children, but they themselves have their own needs. Some data:
Growing up with a sibling who needed constant care can reinforce positive sibling attributes, such as self-concept, self-esteem, and sense of competence (Getty Images)
– 8% of young people in developed countries grow up with a family member who suffers from a chronic illness.
– About 17% of children in the US have one or more developmental disabilities.
In a study published in the Journal of Pediatric Psychology in March 2012, “Psychological functioning of siblings in families of children with chronic illnesses, a meta-analysis,” several mechanisms were identified through which children are affected: they may experience a differential parental treatment due to attention focused on the affected child; They may be assigned additional domestic and care responsibilities and may be affected by parental distress and worry.
In the study they were also able to understand that the brothers were more accustomed to internalizing their emotions, that is, not sharing them instead of externalizing their feelings. Siblings of children with disabilities or chronic illnesses do not always ask for parental attention as much as they need or want it (Taylor, Fuggle, & Charman, 2001). The researchers suggested that siblings keep their feelings to themselves to hide them from their parents, to try not to overwhelm them.
One characteristic of the syndrome is that siblings of children with disabilities or chronic illnesses do not ask for parental attention as much as they need or want it (Getty)
Finally, they mention that the experience of growing up with a sibling who needed focused or permanent attention can reinforce positive attributes of siblings, such as self-concept, self-esteem, and sense of competence. In support of this resilience hypothesis, other studies state something similar (Adams et al., 1991; Faux, 1991; Houtzager, Grootenhuis et al., 2004).
Not all young people who have siblings with chronic illnesses or disabilities have the same experiences.
Another study, published in 2013 in Pediatrics, “Assessment of Functional Impairment in Siblings Living with Children with Disabilities,” investigated the psychological impact among 245 participating siblings. In it, parents reported the challenges they had to face with their children who did not have chronic illnesses or disabilities: Interpersonal relationships, school performance, and use of free time.
It is important to consider the implications of negative life events within the home, parental stress, and relational and social isolation or loss as predictors of the four most common childhood disorders: depression, anxiety, somatic complaints, and adolescent suicide (Liu, Chen, and Lewis, 2011).
Anxiety, depression and withdrawal are some of the symptoms of crystal children who need more support from parents and family (Illustrative Image Infobae)
Existing studies suggest that the absence of social support from others with shared experiences can contribute to feelings of social isolation, stress, and other negative mental health outcomes (Bellin & Kovacs, 2006 ; Simich et al., 2003).
The American Academy of Pediatrics warns regarding conditions or situations that may be warning signs that the sibling of a child with a chronic illness or disability needs additional support:
– If you are experiencing anxiety.
– If you are experiencing depression.
– If he is acting withdrawn.
– If he seems angry.
– If you are losing interest in your friends or activities you used to enjoy.
– If you don’t do well in school.
– If you are trying too hard to do it right.
– If you are behaving rebelliously
– If you are “misbehaving” to get attention.
Crystal children feel that they must become autonomous ahead of time to avoid causing problems, which is why they do not ask for help when they need it and feel more responsible at a very early age (Illustrative Image Infobae)
Some of the feelings that siblings experience when they feel identified as crystal children are:
– Fear and responsibility. They ask themselves “Did I cause this? “Can this happen to me too?”
– Resentment. They feel that their attention time is taken away and they are left quite alone.
– Pressure and high standards. They feel that too many demands are imposed on them, that they cannot make a mistake, fail or make a mistake; that they must do things perfectly so as not to cause more problems, not complain and appear pleased and “happy with their life, because they are healthy.”
– They feel silenced and suffer a lot from not being heard.
– They perceive that they must become autonomous ahead of time to avoid causing problems, which is why they do not ask for help when they need it and feel more responsible at a very early age.
It is important to recognize one’s own feelings and validate the feelings of other sons or daughters.
In the long term this can lead to feelings of hopelessness, isolation, depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
A 2022 study on “Crystal Children: The Lived Experiences of Siblings of People with Disabilities or Chronic Illness” (Hanvey, I., Malovic, A., and Ntontis, E), demonstrates that many of the negative effects reported by siblings They are not the direct result of the conditions of their brothers or sisters, but rather the consequences of this understanding, of the invisible nature of their existence and of the lack of support.
Research shows that siblings of children with chronic illnesses or disabilities often develop and use their own coping strategies to manage everyday situations, including learning regarding the illness or disability to increase understanding and empathy and to help others. his brother. They also manage to tolerate and manage, in some situations, feelings related to the imbalance in the attention of parents and families in a compensatory way.
For family members, it is recommended to put yourself in the place of the child who feels transparent and engage in age-appropriate conversations that focus on honesty and transparency. That is, accept the feelings they have, not deny or minimize them in order to address them.
In the long term, glass child syndrome can cause feelings of hopelessness, isolation, depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder.
The feelings of the siblings are as strong as those of their parents in relation to the sibling with illness or disability and to this is often added an uncertain future. However, they try to understand everything through the mind of a child, without the maturity to understand what is happening. And that is when it is possible to help them.
TikTokkers have started a new trend, denouncing the “glass child syndrome” and thousands of videos have appeared on the platform.
Recommendations to support children and adolescents who feel invisible due to these circumstances:
– Talk with the sons and daughters regarding the problems that the family faces and the real possibilities, evaluated day by day to carry it forward.
Many times families do not have a projection of what the future of the disease will be like, but they know that it will be difficult. It is important to talk regarding this and let them know that they should tell how they feel and that everything possible will be done so that the family can move forward.
It is recommended to talk with your children regarding the problems the family faces to provide support and avoid the glass child.
– Work on bonds of empathetic and loving brotherhood between brothers.
– Recognize your own feelings and validate the feelings of your other sons or daughters.
– Ask for help if the situation is very difficult. Both extended family and friends can be great allies and make everything run more harmoniously.
– Do not lock yourself up or hide because that makes the problems worse and leads to split lives: inside the house battling the disease and outside the home as if nothing were happening.
* Sonia Almada: has a degree in Psychology from the University of Buenos Aires. International Master in Human Rights for women and children, gender and domestic violence (UNESCO). She specialized in childhood and youth in Latin America (CLACSO). In 2003, she founded the civil association Aralma, which promotes actions to eradicate all types of violence once morest children, youth and families. She is the author of three books: The Frayed Girl, I Like the Way I Am, and The Girl in the Bell Tower.
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