Sexual breakdown: how to react? What to do ?

2024-04-04 16:00:11

Often in cases of erection problems, lovers, who nevertheless desire each other, attack each other, which causes a cold and freezing of sexual relations. However, this has happened, is happening or will happen to everyone, men and women. Although there is nothing to be ashamed of, this breakdown can, at the time and even followingwards, cause discomfort or even worry. Where can it come from and what to do then? We tell you everything so that this incapacity followingcurrent does not alter the torque and your erection improves.

What exactly is a sexual breakdown (man and woman)?

In men, difficulty or inability to get or maintain an erection. In women, a lubrication problem, although she herself does not really experience it as a sexual breakdown, explains Dr Sylvain Mimoun, gynecologist, andrologist and sexologist.

The mechanism is the same in both cases : an insufficient flow of blood, at home in the vagina, at home, in the penis.

I agree with the definition given by Dr. Mimoun, but it is true that we rather use this term in men because, for women, the unusual or sudden cessation of lubrication is much less obvious than an absence or an interruption of the erection, continues Margaux Terrou, clinical sexologist and lecturer.

Why do I have trouble in bed? What are the causes ?

” In the majority of cases, it’s stress. When the mind is focused on worries or anxiety, it cannot make itself available for the ‘trifle’. There performance pressure can also cause a sexual breakdown in men, as in some women, especially around menopause, when they realize that they no longer lubricate as quickly as before, which can worry them and slow them down completely. . Sometimes there are other causessuch as diabetes or certain treatments, antihypertensives or antidepressants, for example,” explains Dr. Mimoun.

Stress remains the primary factor in impotence

“Apart from medical reasons, stress remains the No. 1 factor. It promotes the secretion of cortisol. This hormone will act by constricting blood vessels, thus preventing erection or lubrication. In any case, it is important to do not correlate breakdown and desire : we can, in fact, have a breakdown even if the desire is there, and not have one while the desire is decreasing,” reports Margaux Terrou.

Can sexual dysfunction happen at all ages?

Absolutely, and in very anxious people, they can even occur very early in their sexual life. Dr Mimoun

” Moreover, certain events sometimes lead to breakdowns, a childbirth that went badly for the woman, for example. In men, the milestone of tens, forties, fifties… can also disrupt the erection of those who see their youth slipping away in these stages,” adds the doctor.

“Yes, to the extent that the stressthe main cause of sexual dysfunction, concerns men and women, whatever their age. It is true, however, that‘beyond 50 years, THE physiological changessuch as the aging of the corpora cavernosa in men and menopause in women, sometimes marked by vaginal dryness, can increase the risk,” answers Margaux Terrou in turn.

How to react to a sexual breakdown?

“If it is theoretically preferable to talk regarding it, it is not so simple in practice, because any word addressed to the person who had the breakdown, and who then feels fragile, can be a bad experience. Even just saying: ‘it’s not serious’, ‘it will come back’ or, even worse, insinuating that he or she no longer wants us, can accentuate their discomfort, add to the pressure and even create a conflict,” advises Dr. Mimoun.

It is also not desirable for the partner concerned to apologize or look for excuses. In my opinion, expressions of love and complicity, for example by stroking each other’s skin and whispering sweet nothings, is often preferable. Margaux Terrou

Propose an alternative to de-dramatize the situation

“The embarrassment and discomfort are such at the moment that, oftenthe partners do not dare to say or do anything, as if it hadn’t happened. Which does not seem to me to be a good idea, because the subject risks coming up later, particularly during an argument, with much more dramatic consequences,” notes Dr. Mimoun. “Better, in my opinion, that one of the partners, whether it is the one who had the breakdown or the other, immediately offers an alternative that will help de-dramatize the situation :

A hot shower taken together, a hug (naked if we were clothed); A massage and not necessarily on the genital areas, the skin being, in itself, an erotic organ.

Let’s not forget that sexuality is not limited to penetration: there are plenty of other ways to take and give pleasure. Dr Mimoun

What can help limit the risk

All techniques that help reduce stress levels are interesting: “the idea being to take care of your mental health by reserving time for yourself, both physically and psychologically,” indicates Margaux Terrou. For some, these will be exercises in relaxation or of sophrology. For others a physical activity, starting with walking, the simplest and easiest to access, or even a creative leisure activity.

Erectile dysfunction: what place for treatments?

“Medication is only considered if the breakdowns are repeated. Viagra then seems more appropriate to me, because it allows you to obtain an erection within the hour that follows, which is what men want in a context of sexual breakdowns, while it is slower to come with Cialis, but it lasts longer,” explains Dr. Mimoun.

“It is important to know that the Viagra also promotes lubrication in women, by increasing blood flow to the genitals, but it is then prescribed without a marketing authorization. I sometimes advise them to Libyana plant-based food supplement which, in 60% of cases and provided that the desire is there, improves lubrication by increasing arousal.

Taking medication must be discussed and supervised by a sexologist, which I am not. As for lubricants, which are not medicines, they can help women who really want to make love. Margaux Terrou

When to consult for an erection problem?

From the moment when breakdowns generate frustration in the couple. “As there are two of us making love, the ideal is for both partners to come together to try to understand exactly where the problem comes from,” suggests Margaux Terrou. This can also help to shed light on unsaid things, of the dissatisfactions, a decline in feelings or desire, especially if the partner who has breakdowns during the erotic act does not have them when he or she masturbates on their own.”

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