“Stories That Matter”
Abused, beaten, sold: Victims of abuse break their silence online
Many victims of sexual abuse are now breaking their silence – sometimes decades following the crime (symbolic photo)
© Olaf Heil / Picture Alliance
Many victims of sexual abuse remain silent for long periods of time out of fear and shame. A new website now gives them space to report on what they went through – sometimes decades following the crimes.
Hundreds of people, now adults, report what was done to them as children: sometimes massive violence, sexual abuse, breaches of trust and ongoing helplessness. The reports are depressing, often disturbing. They were published on Wednesday by the company that has been working since 2016 Independent commission to investigate child sexual abuse on a new one Website entitled: “Stories that count”.
The names of the victims from the past decades and both German states have changed, but the events are real. They report assaults, beatings and rapes, mainly by men, in families, homes, sports clubs, schools and church communities.
Brother abused and sold sister
“My childhood came to an end on that day, an absolute nightmare began,” writes Irina regarding her youth in the early 1980s in a village in East Germany. Her father made her dance naked when she was twelve and beat her with a belt. Her brother abused and sold her. “I will never forget that picture when his friend gave him money and a pack of cigarettes. From that day on, I became a regular commodity. They hurt me a lot and robbed me of my dignity.”
Later her parents sent her to an acquaintance who had a car and drove to the forest. “No one can imagine what it means for a 15-year-old girl to be at the mercy of a grown man. I was forced to ride with him for four years.”
Class teacher takes students in the panties
Another woman tells of the class teacher who, at the end of the 1970s, would have students sitting behind his desk on his lap. “He put his fingers in our panties and grabbed our vaginas.” The girls would never have talked regarding it. “Teachers were respected people back then and I would never have thought of telling my parents that. I didn’t think anyone would have believed me.”
According to an earlier study by the commission to deal with abuse, which was convened by the federal government, the perpetrators were predominantly men. Only 13 percent were women. Almost half of these men were biological fathers, foster fathers, and stepfathers. Then there were other relatives, neighbors, educators, caregivers, athletic trainers, and pastors. The proportions of the victims were reversed: almost 90 percent were girls, 10 percent were boys, most of whom were at the mercy of pedophiles.
Abuse victims do not know who the perpetrator was
It was not until he was over 50 that Johann remembered his childhood in a convent school with a “brutal regiment” in West Germany in the 1960s. “At the age of eleven, 300 kilometers from home (…), I was raped in church at night and dressed only in an acolyte’s robe. To this day I don’t know who the perpetrator was.” In the confessional it was said followingwards that the “ritual” had to remain a secret of confession, on pain of eternal damnation.
Sexual abuse is different. Sometimes it is repetitive touching that the perpetrators describe as harmless. They are experienced by the victims as transgressive and disturbing. But the reports also deal with brutal bondage and rape.
The actions of the perpetrators are different. Some steal the sympathy and trust of their victims, then photos are taken or touching begins. In families, things are often more direct. It is even more difficult for the children to escape this abuse because the family closes itself off from the outside world.
Most of the victims experienced that they were left alone. Mothers kept silent to support families. School authorities and teachers looked the other way. The church in West Germany transferred conspicuous pastors – and ignored the victims. The youth and sports organizations in the GDR denied the incidents.
High number of unreported cases of sexual violence
In view of the high number of unreported cases, there is little reliable data on the actual spread of sexual violence. A 2011 study by the Lower Saxony Criminological Research Institute found that around 7 percent of the women surveyed and 1.5 percent of the men surveyed reported previous experiences as victims.
The 100 reports initially selected on the new portal can be selected and sorted according to the context of the crime, the decades from 1950 to the present, West Germany or East Germany and the sex of the victims. Further descriptions are to follow. To date, almost 3,000 victims and eyewitnesses have contacted the commission.
“Nothing is more impressive than the reports of those affected themselves,” said Brigitte Tilmann from the investigation commission, explaining the project. “This is the only way to make concrete experiences of sexual violence visible behind the term abuse.” Many victims wrote that they wanted to encourage other affected people with their report. The important thing is the message not to be alone with the experiences.
Other sources:“Aufarbeitungskommission.de”, “geschichten-die-zaehlen.de”.
