Get Out of This Body, Sean Spicer!
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen! Buckle up, because we’re diving into the deliciously chaotic world of post-Trump America, where facts and “alternative facts” dance like there’s a rave going on in the Oval Office. You know, that hot spot where the decor is just a tad too gaudy for my taste—it’s like the inside of a cheap Vegas hotel!
Now, let’s talk about Karoline Leavitt, who might just be channeling the spirit of Sean Spicer as she prepares to take over as the White House spokesperson. Bless her heart, she tweeted about “fake news” while genuinely believing her audience is still figuring out how to log into X, formerly known as Twitter. It’s like watching a loveable golden retriever trying to bark at the mailman while simultaneously fetching a stick. Distracted? Absolutely!
Remember when Spicer, all wide-eyed and flustered, declared, “It’s the largest crowd number who has ever attended an inauguration ceremony, period.” And by period, I mean the end of that sentence where we all collectively facepalmed. Kellyanne Conway, always ready with the gymnastic twist, coined the term “alternative facts”—a phrase that makes you wonder what alternative universe she was tuning into. Maybe one where the laws of physics don’t exist, or politics works like Harry Potter—just wave a wand, and poof, the votes appear!
On the modern front, Leavitt seems to be pulling Spicer’s old routine, claiming Trump’s latest electoral victory was a “massive and historic” win. I mean, if I had a penny for every time I’ve heard a politician stretch the truth, I’d probably have enough to fund a full-blown exorcism of Sean Spicer’s ego from Karoline’s newfound persona.
The article goes on to address what I’d call the “fringe reality” of Trump’s electoral success. If you break it down, we find that his margin of victory was slimmer than a pair of skinny jeans on a Thanksgiving turkey—about 1.6% of the vote! That’s not just narrow; it’s practically a slit. The media waited weeks to correct the narrative, which, let’s face it, isn’t shocking. Waiting weeks to correct a story? It’s so very media! We might as well call it the “Patience Strategy,” where reporters are busy scrolling through TikTok rather than covering breaking news.
And oh, the delicious irony! Once a victor, always a victor—except when “victory” means playing with numbers as if they were old toys in a closet. Trump struggling to claim the majority of votes cast? This is the political equivalent of claiming you’ve mastered the ukulele after playing just one chord. Sure, it sounds nice, but you’ll only bring up “Wonderwall” at parties to get laughed at for not knowing the rest of the song!
But let’s give credit where it’s due—Leavitt’s enthusiasm is as infectious as her grasp on statistical realities is lacking. But hey, she’s only 27! The youngest spokesperson ever! That gives her a head start in the race to redefine history. Forget “alternative facts!” We could be heading into the territory of “alternative timelines” next!
And while she might declare that Trump was re-elected thanks to a resounding mandate, it’s important to note that he can’t be the first president to exaggerate achievements. Just ask John F. Kennedy, who once claimed we landed on the moon before making sure his rocket ship was fueled up!
Now, Democrats are struggling to claim any victory; they couldn’t even keep the losing streak at bay. Kamala Harris, bless her, received 7.1 million fewer votes than Biden did in 2020. Ouch! That’s like showing up to a dinner party and realizing it’s a potluck, but you forgot the dish. You leave, highly embarrassed, while your neighbor walks in with a seven-tiered cake!
At this point, it’s clear there’s going to be no sheltering, no alternative facts to hide behind for either party. The idea of “no consolation” could easily be the title of a new political thriller by any disillusioned author.
So here we are—watching the circus that is American politics. And trust me, folks, it’s a show that would put Cirque du Soleil to shame! The moral of this story? If you can’t handle the heat, get out of the political kitchen or at least hire a spokesperson who knows the difference between reality and fantasy. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to check my X feed for more alternative facts—oh, and find Spicer! Someone should really ask him if he’s ready to be the next ghostwriter for the script of this unfolding drama!
(New York) Get out of this body, Sean Spicer!
Published yesterday at 7:40 p.m.
Last Friday, Karoline Leavitt emerged as a prominent figure on the political scene, seemingly positioning herself as the next White House spokesperson, akin to Sean Spicer who famously filled this role during the early days of Donald Trump’s presidency.
For context: following the inauguration of the 45th president, which was met with skepticism due to a smaller crowd than Barack Obama’s eight years prior, Sean Spicer took to the podium and asserted to a captivated media horde that, “It’s the largest crowd number who has ever attended an inauguration ceremony, period.”
To substantiate this audacious claim, Kellyanne Conway, then a senior advisor, infamously coined the term “alternative facts,” asserting that Sean Spicer had relied on this dubious notion to defend an obviously false statement.
PHOTO JABIN BOTSFORD, ARCHIVES THE WASHINGTON POST
Karoline Leavitt, pictured above last May, will be the next White House spokeswoman.
Leavitt, poised to become the youngest presidential spokesperson at just 27, took to X (formerly Twitter) to declare, “New alert for fake news,” targeting headlines from Politico and the New York Times, which she alleges downplay President Trump’s colossal and historic electoral victory.
However, as remarkable as it is for a former president rebuffed by voters just four years earlier, Donald Trump’s victory can hardly be termed “massive.” It’s notable that media outlets took a shocking three weeks to amend their earlier reporting.
In reality, Donald Trump’s victory is recorded as one of the narrowest margins in the annals of American electoral history.
Everything is relative
The vast chasm between myth and reality is, in large part, a result of protracted vote counting processes in critical states like California. This same phenomenon skewed the media’s early assessment of the 2018 midterm elections which ultimately revealed a significant 41-seat gain for Democrats in the House of Representatives, after a delayed count opened the floodgates.
Once the results were tallied, a clearer picture not only reframed the narrative surrounding Donald Trump’s victory but also exposed a drastic erosion in Democratic support across the board.
It’s essential to note that this commentary does not undermine Donald Trump’s electoral success achieved in 2024, as he notably outperformed his 2020 ballot counts in almost every county nationwide, with significant gains among demographics including Black and Latino men, as well as younger voters.
However, his anticipated victory margin of around 1.6 percent falls short when compared to all winning presidents since 1888, with the exception of John F. Kennedy in 1960 and Richard Nixon in 1968. Trump also faces the reality of not securing a majority of the votes cast, a feat achieved by every recent president from George W. Bush to Joe Biden.
Trump may indeed celebrate having secured 312 electoral votes compared to Biden’s 306, but his margin of approximately 232,000 votes in pivotal battleground states such as Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin trails Joe Biden’s 2020 performance in those very locations.
No consolation for Democrats
Terminology such as “massive mandate” has been frequently echoed by Trump’s allies, alongside a suite of similarly hyperbolic adjectives. Yet, why should the media or the public remain concerned or even offended? This is especially pertinent as these alternative facts reappear in justifications for President Trump’s most controversial appointments and initiatives.
Karoline Leavitt was quick to proclaim on X last week that, “President Trump was re-elected thanks to a resounding mandate from the American people to change the status quo in Washington.”
Overstating the implications of an electoral mandate is, of course, a familiar misstep for many presidents, a blunder that has often led to repercussions during midterm elections.
PHOTO PABLO MARTINEZ MONSIVAIS, ARCHIVES ASSOCIATED PRESS
Kamala Harris received 7.1 million fewer votes than Joe Biden in 2020.
Democrats, meanwhile, cannot find solace in claiming a mere “close” defeat. They are grappling with the fallout of a significant decline in their support across key states, a reality neither Kamala Harris nor Donald Trump substantially campaigned in.
Kamala Harris, in particular, found herself receiving 7.1 million fewer votes compared to her counterpart Joe Biden in 2020, a troubling trend stemming from a decisive number of Democratic voters opting to stay home, or, to a lesser extent, lending their support to Trump or alternate candidates.
In New York City alone, she garnered 570,000 votes less than Joe Biden, while Donald Trump managed to rally over 90,000 more votes compared to his 2020 performance, a pattern replicated in numerous large urban centers such as Los Angeles and Chicago.
Moreover, Harris also fell short in numerous major cities within crucial states like Philadelphia and Detroit.
No amount of alternative facts can provide a shield for Democrats from this undeniable reality, just as it cannot for Republicans.
How do narratives around electoral victories contribute to the misinformation surrounding political discourse in the U.S.?
Ions in political discourse. The idea of a “mandate” is frequently wielded as a rhetorical weapon, yet it often belies the nuanced and complex realities of voter sentiment in a deeply polarized nation. Just as Kamala Harris’s notable drop in votes illustrates, winning the presidency does not guarantee universal support or approval of a party’s agenda.
In the current political landscape, each side appears to be scrambling for a narrative that suits their needs, often disregarding the inconvenient truths that come with close electoral results. Trump, undeterred, has embraced his “historic” victory narrative, while Democrats, especially those in high-profile positions, struggle to recalibrate their messaging amid evident losses.
As both sides engage in this familiar dance of exaggeration and selective praising of outcomes, the American public is left trying to navigate through the fog of misinformation. It’s no wonder we find ourselves in a chaotic cycle where one side inflates results, and the other side relentlessly underplays them, resulting in a political discourse that feels more like theater than genuine engagement.
This ongoing spectacle raises the question: when will we see political figures who embody sincerity and pragmatism? When will political leaders prioritize transparency over theatrics? Until then, the drama will continue, with new characters stepping onto the stage, ready to play their parts in this never-ending performance. Whether you’re tuned in for the drama or hoping for a resolution to this electoral absurdity, one thing is certain—the circus show of American politics is far from over.