The Arsenal Show: A Comedy of Errors Against Shakhtar
Ah, Arsenal. A team that always keeps you on the edge of your seat, sometimes with grace, and other times while teetering on a banana peel! In their latest Champions League outing, the Gunners barely scraped by Shakhtar Donetsk with a 1-0 victory—and let’s be honest, it was not exactly a masterpiece of footballing prowess. More like a comedy where the punchline was an own goal! A moment that had us all laughing, especially if you were wearing the wrong colors.
The only goal of the match came from a 29th-minute blunder by Dmytro Riznyk, Shakhtar’s keeper, who seemed to have missed the memo that the aim is to keep the ball out of the net, not help it along its merry way. Picture this: Gabriel Martinelli unleashes a shot that bounces off the post before ricocheting off Riznyk’s hapless torso like a pinball on a bad day. It was slightly more embarrassing than watching a cat try to catch a laser pointer—an own goal that could really only be described as “artistic!”
But that just set the tone for the rest of the evening. Not to be outdone by their own misfortunes, the Gunners’ own Leandro Trossard had the chance to double the lead with a penalty, only to see Riznyk play goalkeeper like he was auditioning for a slapstick comedy. Trossard must’ve thought he had a laser-guided shot, but Riznyk saved it as if he was Bruce Wayne trying to stop a malfunctioning Batmobile. Let’s just say, football can be a painful sport, and this match was no exception for the tactless Trossard.
Now, Mikel Arteta’s men came into this match with the determination of a dog chasing its tail. After losing to Bournemouth, the Gunners were eager to make amends. Watching the early moments, I almost felt sorry for Shakhtar—time seemed to stand still while Arsenal parked the bus in front of the goal, only this bus was driven by a very bewildered Riznyk! There were chances aplenty for Riccardo Calafiori and Trossard, who fizzled out faster than a fizzy drink left out in the sun. Classic Arsenal, isn’t it? Always taking the scenic route when it comes to scoring.
It’s sad when you realize that the most sensational defensive move of the evening came courtesy of Mykola Matvijenko, who somehow managed to prevent an almost certain goal by Kai Havertz. While the attackers fluffed their lines, Matvijenko looked like he was ready for the next level—so solid that if he were a wall, he would’ve been a brick one! Perhaps he should charge £25 for people to take selfies with him every time he stops a Gunners attack? People pay for stranger things!
Fast forward to the dying embers of the match, and the visitors had a glimmer of hope with a handball from Valery Bondar. Trossard stood up to take the spot-kick, looking more like a man walking to the gallows than a footballer. But lo and behold, Riznyk evaded the embarrassment with a save that few saw coming. The night was beginning to feel like a sitcom where every episode concludes with a twist. Maybe the writers of “Friends” could take some notes!
As the match drew to its dramatic close, Shakhtar was lurking dangerously close to an equalizer—David Raya made a hero’s stop, showcasing that despite the comedy, there is a bit of class on the pitch (and not just from the Gunners). In the end, Arsenal squeaked into fourth place, while Shakhtar remained in their own tragic parody, looking to rewrite their script somewhere far more appealing.
So, what’s the takeaway from this royal mess? Arsenal may have won, but boy, was it hard-earned! Their fans were likely torn between sighs of relief and the overwhelming desire to avert their eyes. A reminder, folks, that sometimes football is less about the glory and more about the glorious failures that keep us coming back for more. After all, if we wanted perfection, we’d just watch reruns of “The Office.” Cheers to comedy of errors, eh? Until next time!
Arsenal players beat Shakhtar Donetsk 1:0 at home in the third round of the Champions League. The only goal-scoring moment of the match occurred in the 29th minute, when visiting goalkeeper Dmytro Riznyk accidentally knocked the ball into his own net. Although the Ukrainian goalkeeper eliminated Leandro Trossard’s poorly played penalty kick in the second half, it was ultimately not enough for the visiting team to gain a point.
Mikel Arteta’s men went into the match determined to make amends for the weekend’s loss away to Bournemouth. The Gunners took control of the game early on and Riccardo Calafiori and Trossard had a couple of good chances, but unfortunately for the home fans they failed. Everything changed only in the 29th minute, when Gabriel Martinelli’s hard ground attempt bounced off the post directly into the back of Shakhtar goalkeeper Riznyk’s body, from where it subsequently traveled beyond the goal line.
As the end of the half approached, the picture of the game did not change. On the contrary, it was a great defensive intervention by Mykola Matvijenko, who at the last moment prevented Kai Havertz from simply knocking the ball into the goal. Gabriel Jesus also came close to doubling Arsenal’s lead before the break, but Riznyk was able to kick away the Brazilian’s shot. At the start of the second half, the Gunners continued to burn chances. Trossard headed wide from a good spot, and Martinelli’s hard attempt was saved by Riznyk.
In the 77th minute, Arsenal got the perfect opportunity to finally break the resistance of the Ukrainians, when Valery Bondar made a handball in the penalty area. Trossard then took responsibility, but Riznyk was able to kick his shot into the middle of the goal. This set the stage for a thrilling conclusion. The visitors were very close to a shocking equalizer in stoppage time, but David Raya was able to stop Pedrinho with a powerful shot with all his might. Arsenal rose to fourth place in the incomplete table, while Shakhtar, on the other hand, remains in a non-progressive position.
