2023-11-21 11:31:23
My father passed away two weeks ago, and I want to remember the memories of the last few months through words.
Suffered from cancer for the first time eight years ago
At the beginning of July this year, my father’s chin became swollen, and the whole family began to persuade, threaten, and induce him to see a doctor. He still took painkillers first, and we’ll see what happens next. Looking back now, he may have known better. Probably the cancer has returned.
Eight years ago, he underwent surgery for throat cancer and lost his voice, but he also regained a super healthy lifestyle habit: going to bed early and getting up early, and exercising every day. The biggest change is his personality. Before he suffered from cancer for the first time, my dad might be said to be a prodigal son. Smoking, drinking and other bad habits are all there, and his personality is difficult and frivolous.
When he suffered from cancer for the first time, he seemed to see clearly who the people who really cared regarding him were.
The large group of drinking buddies before disappeared in an instant。
Transferred multiple times
Eight years later, the jaw began to show signs of problems. After the initial examination at the hospital, no cancer cells were detected, and everyone was relieved. The doctor initially thought it was cellulitis and arranged for my dad to be hospitalized. However, during the hospitalization, not only the chin continued to swell, but the eyes, ears, and mouth also gradually became swollen. We felt something was wrong, and we changed to three hospitals in succession.
After arriving at the third hospital, the doctor treated me very actively. Instead of just giving antibiotics, he also arranged more sophisticated examinations, and finally found the real cause: vascular cancer.
Diagnosed with vascular cancer
When the doctor was patrolling the ward, he asked my mother to come out of the ward and told her with a serious expression that my father had vascular cancer, which is a very rare disease and a very serious cancer. I remember that day my mother typed in the message: “Bottom bolt from the blue, your dad has vascular cancer.”
My mother described that she felt at the time that all she might do was cry. After returning to the ward, she didn’t want my dad to find out, so she still mightn’t stop her tears and continued to cry. At that time, we were the same. When we drove our daughter to the hospital to see my dad, we would always drive on the road crying. When we got to the hospital, we would put away our tears and chat with our parents regarding everyday things, and then weep all the way home.
When I returned home, I would always think regarding whether Dad would be in pain? Mom and dad must be so tired that they can’t sleep. At home, they can only cry. During those days, everyone was too strong, and they cheered up and told themselves that at least the cause of the disease might be found and the right medicine might be prescribed. I mightn’t find the reason before, so I might only keep taking antibiotics, which made me panic.
Active treatment
The medical treatment was quick. Two or three days following the diagnosis of vascular cancer, chemotherapy injections were started. Chemotherapy needs to be injected continuously for three days at a time, and the sequelae will slowly emerge following the injection. The first injection of chemotherapy was due to low white blood cells, and a critical illness notice was issued, but I survived. Immediately followingwards, I tried the second chemotherapy and self-funded cancer drugs.
During this period of semi-residency in the ward, what I felt most deeply was the attitude of the hospital nurses and doctors.
Differences among medical staff
Since we were hospitalized for more than three months, we met many nurses. Of course, we all understand that nurses are really busy at work, so it is really touching when we meet a nurse who is willing to help and understands our feelings.
Most nurses are actually like little bees, super busy. A few nurses are busy and seem world-weary. When you ask them questions, you will wonder if I have done anything wrong to trouble them. On the contrary, there are more nurses with kind and warm attitudes, who are really beacons of light for us.
The same goes for doctors. During rounds, they not only look at the data, but also sit down and wait for my dad to finish writing what he wants to say to the doctor. He also listens to my mom talk and cares regarding our family’s situation. Not only does it heal illnesses, it also heals the mind.
Isn’t it the same for special education teachers?
This also reminds me that as a special education teacher, when dealing with every child and parent, we cannot treat it in such a mechanical way, and we cannot just treat it as a process or a task. During the communication process, you should slow down more, listen to the opinions of children and parents, and pay more attention to what they care regarding.
Thank you to the nurses, doctors and staff who assist us in the general ward. You are very important to us.
postscript
After two rounds of chemotherapy and one self-paid drug intervention, the condition still did not improve. The doctors and nurses asked us to consider whether the hospice ward would be more suitable for Dad’s needs.
Stay tuned for the next article and continue to reminisce…
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