“We all come from childhood”
“Emotions are a person’s mental reaction to a specific situation in which he is,” psychologist Nikolai Izotov tells Doctor Peter. – It is believed that initially they appear as a need to ensure communication between mother and child. The baby is completely dependent on the mother – for him, she is the bearer of all the cognitive, social and physiological skills necessary for survival. And it is the mother who reflects the reactions of the child – processes them and contains them.
The “container-content” scheme is the basis of any human relationship, the expert notes.
– For example, a baby is crying – he is hungry, but not yet able to realize it. He has only a feeling of extreme discomfort, – Nikolai Izotov gives an example. – The mother transforms the difficult experiences of the child (feeding him, calmly talking to him) into consolation. It transforms the feelings of the baby. Thus, the child can now introject (borrow) emotional experiences, modified and softened – to perceive what comes from outside as coming from himself.
It is through the relationship with the mother or other significant adult that the child develops the structure of his own mental apparatus, which allows him to be more and more independent. And over time, the child will acquire the ability to carry out the function of containment on their own, the expert clarifies.
– If this ability is not developed, in adulthood in a person it can result in the impossibility of realizing one’s true feelings, emotions and experiences. And such a misunderstanding of oneself is probably the worst thing for our psyche, says psychologist Nikolai Izotov.