Tantrism is often considered a sexual practice, but the spirit of tantra is broader than that. Its practice invites us to know and accept ourselves as we are, to understand what is good for us and then to reach out to others.
For many years, Simon, in his early forties, saw his sexuality as an athlete. Performance always took precedence over pleasure and sharing. A feeling of lack and incompleteness floated above all his relationships. “I mightn’t manage to be in a relationship, to create an attachment, I was always in the conquest. After a period of great mental and emotional fatigue, I came across the philosophy of Tantra by chance. I immersed myself in it and quickly realized that I needed to understand myself better. I also had to get rid of my expectations and pretensions on all levels. It wasn’t just sexually. Gradually, I applied this mindset to all my relationships, in all facets of my life. It’s as if I had understood that I no longer had anything to prove, neither to myself nor to others.”
Of course, integrating this practice does not happen overnight. While already practicing meditation, Simon went through phases of discouragement, but he knew he was on the right track. “Tantra also helps to express one’s needs and to listen to those of others, it facilitates communication. It also allows you to be more in the present, to stop asking all kinds of questions.
Tantra involves going to yourself before going to others. Simon was able to appreciate all the changes this brought regarding. “I have been in a relationship for two years, I feel stronger and better equipped. I sincerely believe that it is thanks to the work that I have done on myself.
Change of perception
Nicole has been practicing tantrism for a few years and she says she is more fulfilled than ever. “I was 52 years old when I went to a tantrism course with my spouse. We wanted to change our routine, try something else. With three children, we fell asleep a little on our sexuality and on our couple. I didn’t expect anything, but I never thought that this practice would transform me so much.”
Tantric massages and an experience of rebirth (a conscious breathing technique that helps bring out buried emotions) allowed him to understand his emotional blockages and his unconscious taboos. “Thanks to that, I freed myself from my education, from my shame, from certain guilt. I healed some wounds related to my love journey that might still block me. I discovered in myself greater patience, fewer fears, and my femininity was increased tenfold. I feel more self-confidence, I have a feeling of fullness that I had never felt before.
- Listen to the sexology column with Anaïs Guertin-Lacroix at the microphone of Benoît Dutrizac on QUB radio:
How to discover Tantra?
We advise you to read on the subject before booking a tantric massage, participating in a course or an initiation session to tantra. Martin Bilodeau, who has more than 20 years of experience in the practice and study of oriental traditions, published the Practical Guide to Modern Tantrismwhich gives the basic principles of this practice.
