2023-10-06 15:36:29
When I started dating what is now my partner, I noticed two things before any other: he is a feminist man and takes care of his own well-being, without thinking that by doing so he is a selfish person. With the first of his qualities I felt that we shared something. With the second I felt envious, because for him it was natural to take care of himself and for me, my self-love and my well-being were something that still has a lot to work on.
It turns out that that second green flag that I saw in him is something that is essential for Generation Z when looking for a partner. According to the report Future Of Dating 2023 of Tinder that predicted which would be the most successful generation in marriage, 80% of young people have as an essential requirement to meet someone that that person cares and takes care of themselves. What’s more, they claim that “they find a person more attractive when they know that they are willing to work on their mental well-being.”
But I’m not sure it’s something we know how to do. Perhaps it is the fault of the lack of emotional responsibility, which in many cases we neither have nor demand, of the new terms such as relationships. situationshipsor is it simply the fault that We don’t know how to take care of our well-being when we talk regarding relationships. And if I don’t even know how to take care of myself, how to identify it in others.
Marta Ridaura, health psychologist expert in self-esteem from We are great, states that young people realize that before starting a new relationship you must establish a healthy relationship with yourself. It is important that before embarking on a relationship we spend time thinking regarding what we feel, what we want and what our limits are.”
Well, let’s learn. Tinder and Somos Estupendas have created a “Self-love manual” that seeks to prioritize mental health when looking for any new relationship. That’s what this is for Practical guide to taking care of your well-being and mental health on any dating app, learn limits and implement good practices when establishing safe and healthy relationships. Because to make a match with another person and for the relationship to turn out well, we must first make match with ourselves. And we tell you how.
The commandments of self-love to love ourselves well on Tinder
The first healthy relationship is with myself
We have talked to you regarding the importance of learning to practice self-love as a method for two things: taking care of our mental health and taking care of the relationships we have, whatever their nature. Because if we want to take care of others, it is normal that we first take care of ourselves.
To do this we not only have to pamper our self-esteem, speak to ourselves in a kind way and avoid negative self-talk. We also have to, in the words of the psychologist and editor-in-chief of Trendencias “remove guilt and the feeling that we are selfish if we do something for ourselves or ourselves.”
I may not know what I want, but I know what I don’t want.
When the last long relationship I had ended, 14 years, I spent a lot of time reflecting on what that couple was to me. But above all I reflected on everything I had and that I did not want to be repeated in my future relationships. It’s what generation Z calls now hardballingwhich will not only save us from wasting time, it will also save us and those who know us from suffering.
I will consent only if I am comfortable
It’s one thing for us to meet someone, let’s do match and we stay, and quite another is that we continue by inertia as if we mightn’t say no. If we want to take care of our mental health it is important to know that we can say no without feeling guilty.
I set my own limits
How complex it is to set limits, especially in areas like work. But although sometimes it is complicated, if we want to look for ourselves, setting limits becomes essential, also when we meet someone. Don’t be afraid to put them on, you are loving yourself with this small act.
I communicate without fear
Talk, talk, talk and talk. Communication is the key in any relationship and as long as we do it with assertiveness and sincerity (be careful with sincericide), we will be doing it well. Don’t be afraid to speak honestly with a person you just met, always with respect. Think that the foundations of a relationship, if we want it to be stable, must be strong and for that we need a lot of truth and a lot of communication.
If I see a red flag, I reject it. And if I see a green flag, I hug it
If I see that he treats the waiters badly, he is most likely a despot and that red flag In the first appointment he already tells me. It is important that Let’s be aware of what our red and green flags are to identify them in the person that we know. And also pay attention to the beige flags which for me, are a clear indication of “that’s where it is”.
Photos | Masha S y Devon Divine in Unsplash
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