When Richard McKenney was getting married last year, friends stepped up to help.
Bibi Bahrami prepared Afghani dishes for the wedding guests, from rice with carrots and raisins to chicken and beef.
Her husband officiated the Islamic part of the ceremony.
At first glance, there’s nothing unusual about this off-camera wedding scene, until you know the on-camera story of how Richard and the Bahramis met.
Here’s the short version: Angry and hateful of Muslims, the broad-shouldered, tattooed veteran once wanted to bomb the Bahamian Islamic Center of Muncie, Indiana, causing mass casualties.
The longer version of what happened next is described in ‘Stranger at the Gate’, how he was helped to change not only his plans but his life by the kindness of the members of the congregation.
The 30-minute film has been nominated for Best Documentary Short at the 95th Academy Awards this Sunday.
Ms Bahrami, a former Afghan refugee and grandmother of seven (an eighth is due soon), said of Richard in an interview: ‘We’ve been friends for years. He’s like family now.’
Richard admits their unlikely relationship is probably ‘mind blowing’ for many. “This whole journey has been so surreal,” he said.
His is a story of second chances and change. “Stranger at the Gate” director Joshua Seftel said it’s one of love triumphing over hate.
“It’s easy to feel hopeless these days,” Joshua said. When I saw this story, I thought, wow, maybe there is a reason to believe in humanity. If these two can be friends, why can’t any of us be?’
Joshua came across Richard’s story while working on a documentary series titled ‘The Secret Life of Muslims’, which featured American Muslims from diverse backgrounds and wanted to break down negative stereotypes.
Joshua added: ‘It’s easy to hate someone we don’t know. The power of film and storytelling is that you can get to know someone through a film and it can change the way people think.’
He said that the series was inspired by his own memories of the anti-Semitism he encountered and was called a Jewish kid.
‘After 9/11 I saw this kind of hatred against Muslims and I just thought, maybe I can do something to help with my film work.’
A poll by The Associated Press Center for Public Affairs Research ahead of the 20th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks in 2021 found that 53 percent of Americans have negative views of Islam.
Richard was once enthusiastically one of them.
The end of a long military career left him angry and bitter, feeling worthless and drinking heavily.
His ‘prosperous’ dream of dying in battle and returning home a hero in a flag-draped casket was never fulfilled. He would look at himself and wonder who he is.
He focused his hatred on Muslims, some of whom he said were his battlefield enemies when he served overseas.
He said in the film, ‘My plan was to detonate an IED, or improvised explosive device, outside the Islamic center on Friday when the worshipers would gather. I was expecting at least 200 or more people to be killed or injured.’
He started going to the mosque in 2009 and introduced himself as someone who wanted to learn about Islam.
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“I didn’t trust him,” he recalled in the film. … I thought they were going to put me in the cellar and put a sword to my neck.’
However, the reality was the opposite. He said the members of the party welcomed and hugged him.
Bibi Bahrami, who viewers see as a fan of country music and whose husband dubbed her the ‘Mother Teresa of the Muslim community’, recalled the time Richard comforted and cared for. He finally found the sense of connection with them that he so desperately craved.
“I said I needed to become a Muslim,” Richard said.
‘Stranger at the Gate’ isn’t the only film nominated this year with a religious background.
For example, ‘Women Talking’, nominated for best film, is based on a novel by Mary Toews, which itself is based on a terrifying true story in a Mennonite colony in Bolivia.
Men from this community were convicted of raping many women and girls.
In the film, the survivors struggle with whether to leave their unsafe religious community or stay connected, where they will be pressured to forgive the perpetrators.
Today, Richard and Bibi Bahrami say they see the impact of the message behind their story in conversations with audiences after a talk or screening.
Bibi Bahrami (AP) is the main character of the film.
Richard said, ‘The best compliment I’ve ever received is when someone tells me after watching a film that you’ve given me a lot to think about.
‘I want people to think because we live in a society where unfortunately there are a lot of followers.’
Someone told them how watching his story saved them because they made them think that everyone has a purpose to find.
Joshua said that Bibi Bahrami, who appeared at the screening with cookies to the audience, was embraced by people.
Some came to him in tears, telling him that he had given them hope and courage or asking if they could ‘borrow’ him for their community.
Many others have raised a pressing question: How did they forgive Richard?
He said that when he heard about Richard’s plans, he was incredulous, so he invited him to dinner and asked him what he was thinking.
‘I am a strong believer. I think my faith is a big part of that forgiveness.’
Another aspect, she added, was the weakness she saw in how apologetic he was.
Bibi Bahrami recalled that she herself was facing a different kind of danger when Joshua approached her to take part in the film.
She was in a coma. He later considered his request during his recovery. He had an idea:
‘God gave me another life. And if I die again, the story can live on.’
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Associated Press writer Peter Smith contributed to this story.
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For more information on this year’s Oscars, visit: https://apnews.com/hub/academy-awards
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2024-08-17 12:58:44
