The Dynamo Powerplay: A Five-Goal Comedy Show!
Well folks, if you tuned into the Ukrainian Premier League match between “Dynamo Kyiv“ and “Obolon“, you might have thought you were watching a slapstick comedy rather than a football game. And that’s putting it mildly! The match ended with a rather embarrassing scoreline of 1:5, and let me tell you, the only ‘brewing’ going on was how not to look like a complete fool on your own pitch.
Now, let’s break it down: The first punch was thrown by Mykola Shaparenko in the 11th minute, a classic ‘first date’ goal—right on target and quite a lovely surprise! But if you thought that was a strike, just wait: Vladyslav Vanat was up next, and he was feeling generous. He nailed a penalty in the 21st minute before adding a second to his tally just eight minutes later. Now that’s what I call a double cheeseburger of a performance—it’s hard to but wildly entertaining!
At the start of the second half, Oleksandr Karavaev decided to shove the dagger even deeper, scoring the fourth goal just four minutes in. Obolon fans must have been thinking, “Are we the punchline to a really bad joke?”
But hold your horses! Out of nowhere, Taras Mykhavko accidentally glanced the ball into his own net after a cross from Viktor Bliznichenko. An own goal! The only thing worse than that would be tripping over your own shoelaces while trying to impress someone at the bar—oh, the shame!
And just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse for Obolon, Volodymyr Brazhko decided to restore the four-goal cushion in the 73rd minute. A long-range shot to the far corner? Bravo! It was a fine strike, and one could only hope he’d at least buy the Obolon players a drink after that drama.
Table Talk: Dynamo Back on Top!
With this victory, “Dynamo” bagged three points and reclaimed the top spot in the Ukrainian Premier League with a total of 25 points. Meanwhile, their opponents slumped down to 15th place with a mere 5 points. Oof! If there was a relegation zone for embarrassing losses, they’d be tucked in it snugly alongside your Aunt Edna’s last Christmas sweater.
As for future glories, Dynamo are set to face Italian giants Roma in the Europa League—talk about having to put on your big-boy pants! After that encounter, they’ll have to wrestle with Shakhtar on October 27. Best of luck to them; they’re going to need it. Meanwhile, Obolon will travel away to face Karpaty—and let’s hope they manage to salvage a few points. Maybe Cardboard Hooligan, the benchwarmer, can dive in for a dramatic last-minute save!
News and Noteworthy
In other news, “Olexandria” are currently leading in the UPL, flexing their muscles after a victory against “Vorskla”. And let’s not forget about “Shakhtar”—who barely scraped past “Colossus” ahead of their upcoming clash with “Arsenal”—because sometimes it feels like a game of football is just a fancy game of chess with hairdos and the occasional on-field brawl!
As the excitement ramps up in Ukrainian football, one thing remains clear: there’s never a dull moment in the world of football! Until next time, let’s keep our eyes on the pitch and our laughter bubbling!
The wards of Oleksandr Shovkovsky moved “Olexandria” from the top of the tournament table of the championship of Ukraine.
“Dynamo” crushed “Obolon” in the match of the 10th round of the Ukrainian Premier League (UPL) of the 2024/25 season. The match at “Obolon-Arena” in Kyiv ended with a score of 1:5.
Even before the break, “white and blue” hit the opponent’s goal three times. Mykola Shaparenko opened the scoring in the 11th minute. Then Vladyslav Vanat made a double, who converted a penalty in the 21st minute, and eight minutes later he scored from the game.
At the start of the second half, the wards of Oleksandr Shovkovsky sent the fourth ball into the goal of “Obolon” – Oleksandr Karavaev scored in the 49th minute.
Three minutes later, the “brewers” reduced the deficit in the score – Dynamo defender Taras Mykhavko cut the ball into his own goal after Viktor Bliznichenko’s cross.
In the 73rd minute, “Dynamo” regained a four-goal advantage – Volodymyr Brazhko shot into the far corner from the area in front of the penalty area. The score on the scoreboard has not changed.
Overview of the match “Obolon” – “Dynamo”
Thanks to this victory, “Dynamo” (25 points) returned to first place in the UPL. Shovkovskyi’s team moved from the first place to “Alexandria”, which is now ahead of them by 2 points. “Obolon” (5 points) occupies the penultimate, 15th position.
“Dynamo” will play its next match on Thursday, October 24, against the Italian “Roma” of Ukrainian forward Artem Dovbyk in the 3rd round of the main round of the Europa League. After that, the “white and blue” will host “Shakhtar” in the UPL match on Sunday, October 27.
“Obolon” will play its next match on Saturday, October 26, away from “Karpaty” in the 11th round of the championship of Ukraine.
Read also:
“Olexandria” beat “Vorskla” and topped the UPL standings (video)
“Shakhtar” barely defeated “Colossus” in the UPL before the match with “Arsenal” in the Champions League (video)
It became known which basket the Ukrainian national team will be in during the selection draw for the 2026 World Cup
