While Maryam was preparing for her marriage contract, she booked an appointment with an obstetrician-gynecologist in the Egyptian capital, Cairo, following she and her then-fiancé decided not to have children, and to seek knowledge of the contraceptive methods available to them.
Maryam says, “Dr. Maknash Radia tells me what can I use,” and she explained that the main reason for her official association with her husband is “the search for partnership,” and that they believe that “having children is not necessary.”
Calls not to have children have begun to increase in Egypt recently, and pages and groups have appeared on social media directed to Arabic speakers, including thousands of participants.
Some of these pages promote the idea of (non-reproductive) as a way of life, and call for not having children for reasons including difficult living conditions, social problems, diseases and various pressures that children may be exposed to in Egypt.
According to the Central Agency for Public Mobilization and Statistics, the number of births in Egypt, the most populous country in the Arab world, reached 2.18 million in 2021. The results of the Egyptian Family Health Survey for the year 2021 conducted by the agency showed a decrease in total fertility rates for married women in the age group between 15 and 45 years. year by 19.6 percent over 2014.
The women who spoke to Archyde.com for this report asked not to be named for social reasons.
They talked regarding how they faced pressure from their families, friends and co-workers who were asking regarding the reason for this decision, and they also faced skepticism regarding their decision from health care providers.
Despite these challenges, the results of the family health survey showed an increase in the rate of family planning methods use to 66.4 percent in 2021, compared to 58.5 percent in 2014.
After her marriage, Maryam turned to five different specialists in obstetrics and gynecology so that she might fit an IUD, a long-term contraceptive method made of plastic or copper. But each time her request was denied, and she was told that IUDs are only for women who have given birth.
Amira Othman, an assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Cairo University, says that depriving women who have not given birth from having an IUD is “a misconception.”
She explained that, except in the presence of a specific medical condition, any woman can use this method of contraception.
In Egypt, couples who decide not to have children defy social norms.
Some of the women who spoke to Archyde.com stated that some of their friends had hidden their pregnancy from them “for fear of envy” because they believed that they were suffering from medical problems that prevented them from having children.
Hala Mansour, a professor of sociology, described the decision not to have children as a “limited view” at a specific time in the couple’s relationship, but she believes that “family continuity is the right of society” for all of its members.
And she explained that some women concealed their pregnancy from those who decided not to have children as an expected reaction, saying, “I have always satisfied myself that if I remain in an unpalatable or socially unacceptable situation, I must expect reactions in the same way.”
She added that the decision not to have children at all “does not comply with the nature of the family and its social and psychological functions that are recognized according to customs and traditions.” But if it was a “interim” decision in order to “improve conditions,” the decision becomes socially acceptable.
Some women told Archyde.com that they hid their decision not to have children from their parents to avoid social pressure.
Nada, who has been married for eight years, says that at the beginning of the marriage she used to give “vague” answers such as “God willing, when our Lord makes it easy.” But following five years she decided to disclose her decision to her family, but she was surprised that her mother was working to “emotionally blackmail” her and insisted To be blessed with grandchildren.
Some women also recounted their frustrating experiences when seeking medical advice for contraception.
“We faced many people who judged us hastily,” says Yumna, who got married seven years ago and is also determined not to have children.
She added that when she revealed her decision to her doctor to advise her on the best method of contraception, “she told me that you are crazy and your husband will marry you at any moment in order to succeed.”
Magda Suleiman, director of the Reproductive Health and Rights Program at the Center for Egyptian Women’s Issues, said that medical service providers in Egypt are influenced by general culture, customs and traditions.
She added, “He (the doctor) is not able to separate between what I am, my convictions, and how I was brought up, and between what I am, my medical profession, so I must communicate the information how.”
There are many reasons behind the decision not to have children.
For Yumna and her husband, childhood trauma is one of the main reasons. Youmna says regarding her husband, “He has a very bad relationship with his father, and I see that he may not be able to be a good father.”
For others like Hiba, who has been married for three years, fears of being able to afford raising children was “a big factor”.
Heba also added that she and her husband used to live a quiet life and were worried regarding “the great pressure children put on parents.”
“My husband and I enjoy our private time together, and we feel that we will lose this enjoyment if we have children,” she says.
