Sunday Interview: Constructing a ‘Half-Orphanage’ into a Family
By Marjanka Meeuwissen · 12 minutes ago · Edit: 0 minutes ago
Well, isn’t this just a lovely story of resilience? Lisa, 35, and Simon, 34, took on the Herculean task of raising not three, not four, but seven children after losing both parents in the space of four years. It’s like an IKEA furniture assembly manual but with much more emotional heft—and no Allen wrenches involved!
Welcome to the Bal Chaos
As Lisa greeted a reporter amidst barking dogs and curious toddlers, it felt as chaotic as a British pub on a Saturday night! “Come in!” she said, while her 2-year-old, Juno, peered down the stairs like a inquisitive little gremlin. It’s not every day you see a front step transformed into a stage of family theater.
With teenage nieces returning from school—hello, Daisy, Zoey, Abby, and Jessy—one can only imagine the cacophony that fills that Rotterdam home! It sounds like a delightful circus, minus the clowns (and maybe with more hiding spots for the snacks).
Life After Loss
One year ago, Lisa’s life turned into a “surprise!” party of tragedy when her brother-in-law Marco passed away, leaving a tidal wave of responsibility crashing onto her doorstep. In an incredibly poignant move, Lisa decided to apply for custody of her nieces, proving that family bonds run deeper than genetics—especially when you have to build a solid foundation for girls who are navigating their teenage years while processing grief.
“I want to make beautiful new memories as a large, warm family.”
And here’s the kicker: She’s succeeding! With Sunday breakfasts and biweekly movie nights, they’re not just surviving; they’re thriving. Who knew snacks could heal emotional wounds?
Family Dynamics and Growth
If there’s any proof that surviving a family tragedy can lead to profound growth, it’s in Lisa’s candid admission of the initial “difficult bond” her nieces shared. Think of it as a team of superheroes stuck in a room together while their powers were still emerging—blasting away in all directions until they learned to unite!
Her strategy? Weekly family therapy. Because if *The Avengers* can assemble, why not this bunch? Grievance bonding, check!
“Always paying attention to everyone’s emotions, giving everyone the attention he or she deserves at all times, that is simply not possible.”
Oh, the tears! Lisa admitted to feeling like she’s perpetually falling short—a refrain familiar to parents everywhere. Isn’t that just basically the refrain of life when you’re juggling a menagerie instead of just two kids?
A Vacation to Remember
A two-week Italian holiday with seven children?! You could bottle the chaos and sell it as a new reality show concept: “Surviving in Style.” Picture this: Lisa managing the chaos in Milan, with “terror Tinus” (aka Juno) refusing to sit in the buggy. That sounds like a plot twist even *Shakespeare* wouldn’t dare write!
“What doesn’t kill you gives you extra editing rights in the family adventure.”
Amidst the pandemonium, Lisa had a “lightbulb moment” at a terrace café, realizing this was not a rent-a-family for a season; they were forming a new clan—and she was living it. Who wouldn’t choke up a bit at that sentiment?
Real-life Problems with a Dash of Humor
Of course, life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Lisa received a heartbreaking note from her daughter asking why she hardly has time for her anymore. It’s the kind of note that makes even the toughest parents shed a tear. But what did Lisa do? She acknowledged the feelings, assuring her that they would strive to give her more attention while also gently hinting at the realities of life. If only every conversation about sibling rivalry could be handled so tactfully!
Renovation Nation
On top of managing a bustling household, Lisa and Simon are also giving a house filled with mold and broken dreams a facelift. Seriously, it’s like they decided to take on the challenge of a hundred home makeover shows at once! They transformed a dilapidated structure into a cozy haven, complete with individual bedrooms for the kids. It’s like *Extreme Makeover: Home Edition*, but with a few more teary moments and less scheduled time constraints!
A New Family Forever
As the dust settles from all this emotional and physical renovation, Lisa and Simon cling to their central goal: making a stable foundation. They’re not just caretakers; they’re architects of a new family story, one infused with laughter, memories, and, let’s be honest, a fair bit of organized chaos!
Is it lovely? Absolutely! Is it easy? Not in the slightest. But as Lisa puts it, they’re building a solid ‘family foundation’ where the girls can always return. And you know what they say about family: they may drive you mad—but they also love you fiercely.
Sunday interview
By Marjanka Meeuwissen·12 minutes ago·Edit: 0 minutes ago
© RTL Nieuws/ Marjanka MeeuwissenRTL
“I hope that our family feels like a solid foundation for the girls, to which they can always return later.” For exactly a year now, Lisa (35) and Simon Bal (34) no longer only care for their three young children, but also for their four teenage nieces. They lost both parents in four years and were left alone. In a candid conversation, Lisa explains how things are going in her ‘half-orphanage’.
“Come in!” Accompanied by two barking dogs, one just a puppy, Lisa opens the front door of her house in the Overschie district of Rotterdam on a rainy afternoon.
From the top step of the stairs, blonde toddler Juno (2) looks curiously at the reporter who enters. The sound of children playing exuberantly drifts into the hall; toddler Morris is upstairs with a neighbor’s boy.
Daughter Evia (8) walks up the steps at the front door and announces her arrival with a knock on the window. Puppy Teddy, who has just calmed down a bit, starts barking enthusiastically again.
From toddler to teenagers
The living room door opens. From behind a full bag of groceries, niece Daisy (15) says a friendly hello. Her sisters Zoey (17) and Abby and Jessy (twins of 13) also return home one by one at the end of this school day.
Lisa takes the time to check in with each family member how the day was and makes some housekeeping announcements in passing. “Put those groceries in the garage please. Oh, and um… your training is canceled tonight, the fields are too wet.”
© RTL Nieuws / Marjanka MeeuwissenThe youngest in the house, toddler Juno (2)
Last week marked exactly one year since Lisa’s brother-in-law Marco suddenly died of cardiac arrest. Lisa’s sister, the mother of Daisy, Zoey, Abby and Jessy, had already died a few years earlier after a long, traumatic period of illness.
On the evening that Marco died, Lisa and Simon decided: we are going to take care of our four nieces. Lisa applied for custody and received it within a few weeks.
I want to make beautiful new memories as a large, warm family.
With the funeral bouquets from Marco’s funeral still in the living room, the Rotterdam native said to RTL News a year ago: “I have a lot to learn. Normally you grow in puberty, now I suddenly have them. But I believe it will turn out fine.”
To add, “Maybe it is wishful thinkingbut I want to make beautiful new memories as a big, warm family.”
Has that already been achieved? A smile immediately breaks out on Lisa’s face: “I think so, yes. We are having a great time together, it’s fun.”
Every Sunday morning we have an extensive breakfast together at a beautifully set table. Sometimes reluctantly – they like to sleep in – the four teenagers also join us.
And there are biweekly movie nights. “Then we all sit around the coffee table at the back of the room. It is full of small, tasty snacks that we eat in front of the TV.”
Remember?
In weeks when everyone in the house is often busy with their own agenda, these are valuable moments together. Because it is fun, but also because in those relaxing moments there is room to really talk.
The teenagers sometimes spontaneously reminisce about their deceased parents. “Do you remember when we went to do such and such together? Or how angry Dad was with me when he found out that I had secretly done something that wasn’t allowed?”
© Studio Melle/ MariëlleThe whole family on the beach.
When the nieces became part of Lisa and Simon’s family a year ago, the girls had a ‘difficult bond’ with each other. “All four of them were very private and argued quite often. They were really a bit of unguided missiles.”
A lot of work has been done on this, including in weekly sessions with a family therapist. “Things are going much better now. That’s nice, because they share a past. It is important that they can talk about it together. I think that the real grieving for the girls has yet to begin.”
Terror Tinus
Over the past year, the family has been busy becoming a solid ‘we’. In the summer the whole gang went on holiday to Italy together for more than two weeks.
Lisa wrote on Facebook at the time: “Stay with me guys! A city trip to Milan with seven children, including a 2-year-old ‘terror Tinus’, will be quite an ordeal. But we’re going for it!”
It became a great success. “Juno (just 2 years old at the time) no longer wanted to sit in his buggy. He really wanted to walk himself. But Milan is busy and big. The oldest children are very caring. That’s nice, all those extra eyes and helping hands. “
The nine members of the Bal family slept in two rooms in a hostel. “The girls could play pool downstairs in the evening and have a drink. During the day there was room to view things, but also to shop. Teenage girls prefer to do the latter.”
© Own image. City trip in Milan.
Somewhere during the city trip the whole group settled down on a terrace. “The people there didn’t know us and just saw a large family sitting there. At that moment I suddenly realised: “It doesn’t just seem that way to the outside world, that’s how it really feels to me. “
Simon agrees: “That was a very beautiful moment.”
Nice together
The two weeks before they had shared a large holiday home with Simon’s brother and his wife and children. In Milan the group split up for an afternoon. Lisa: “We had a wonderful holiday with two families together, but it was also very nice to be together again, the nine of us.”
Every day I have the feeling that I am falling short.
Of course there were also difficult moments in the past year. For example, two months ago Lisa received a handwritten note from her 8-year-old daughter Evia, saying: “It makes me sad that you hardly have time for me anymore.”
Never good enough
Lisa’s heart broke. “Always paying attention to everyone’s emotions, giving everyone the attention he or she deserves at all times, that is simply not possible. Every day I have the feeling that I am falling short.”
How do you respond to such a sad note? “I told my daughter that it is good that she shows her feelings. That Simon and I will try to give her more attention. We want that too. But at the same time, the situation is what it is, it is not going to change. “
© Own image. A note from daughter Evia (8)
It is the only time during the conversation that tears visibly shine in Lisa’s bright, kind eyes. Simon sees it too.
He also feels it: “It’s just crazy busy, there are always 1001 things to do. When the laundry basket is packed, you don’t always feel the space in your head to listen attentively to everyone and see what everyone needs. You can never watch all the children’s sports matches.”
© RTL Nieuws / Marjanka MeeuwissenThe family laundry.
The conversation is briefly interrupted when toddler Morris and his playmate suddenly appear at the table together with crestfallen faces. “This measuring stick is broken!”
“Why is that?”, Simon asks calmly. His son explains: “We both wanted it, but then it broke in half!”
Always sound
Smiling, Simon says that at least now there is their own piece for both boys to play with. Meanwhile, elsewhere in the room, a new problem presents itself: “Mommy, the puppy pooped on the floor!”
It is almost never quiet in the Bal house. She doesn’t always listen well to all those sounds, Lisa says softly. “Certainly not at the end of the day.” Who can blame her?
Never enough time
Lisa and Simon care for seven growing children with all the love, dedication and patience they have. But no one’s energy and attention is inexhaustible and there are only 24 hours in a day.
Hours that were also taken up last year by settling Marco’s inheritance, whose financial situation turned out to be bleak. And through a major renovation in the house where he lived with his four daughters until his death.
© RTL Nieuws / Marjanka MeeuwissenOne of the eight bedrooms, Zoey’s (right)
Marco took care of his sick wife for a long time. When she died, he was left with four teenagers and a busy job. His house was lacking some love, to say the least. It turned out to be in very poor condition.
Snowball effect
Mold spots, rotting window frames, a leaking balcony. A slanted garden through which rainwater flowed into the basement under the house, supporting beams that came loose and a roof that partly had to be replaced.
New, unforeseen defects kept popping up. “It looked like a snowball that started rolling and kept getting bigger. The boiler was even leaking carbon monoxide. It was a good thing that it was in a poorly insulated and drafty room. It could have gone very wrong.”
When I’m cooking, the whole family often spontaneously gathers around me.
Despite everything, Lisa and Simon were immediately determined last year to transform the semi-detached house in Overschie into a nice, warm, safe place for everyone. Perhaps at the top of the wish list: private bedrooms for each of the seven children.
That worked. Immediately after Marco’s death, Lisa’s younger sister set up a crowdfunding campaign that raised one and a half euros. In addition, a YouTube living program sponsored a lot of furniture and paint and contributed ideas to the styling.
© RTL Nieuws/ Marjanka MeeuwissenThe pink room of Evia.
The result: a real palace with eight beautiful, colorful bedrooms and a spacious, bright living room with pink accents. With the absolute eye-catcher a large brown kitchen, with dark green tiles and a huge cooking island.
In a cozy alcove next to it is a dining table surrounded by a large U-shaped sofa, where everyone has a seat.
Favorite place
Sitting on that couch, Lisa tells her story today: “It is my favorite place here in the house. When I am cooking, the whole family often spontaneously gathers around me here in the front room.”
Every member of that family had to adjust to a completely changed life over the past year. Not least Lisa herself.
When people assume that it is very difficult for us, I immediately feel resistance.
She left her home to live in that of her late sister and brother-in-law and quit her job. “Simon started working more. That was also financially more beneficial because he earns much more per hour. At first I thought: I’ll resign and when everything has calmed down a bit in a few months, I’ll look for something new.”
It just never calmed down: “Maybe that will happen in two years, when our youngest son Juno also goes to school.”
© RTL Nieuws/ Marjanka MeeuwissenThe kitchen as a central gathering point in the home.
Lisa doesn’t want to hear anything about complaining. “It’s probably all very difficult, people often say to us. Then I immediately feel resistance. Of course it’s a lot, but above all we have a great time together.”
Creating a stable basis for their own children and the four nieces, that is the goal that Simon and Lisa always have in mind. “I hope that the four oldest girls feel that it is not a temporary solution that we care for them. We are now their family, to which they can always return in the future.”
© Studio Melle/ MariëlleNot together temporarily, but a new family forever.
