Never again
By Anne Broekman·1 hour ago·Changed: 16 minutes ago
© iStock RTL
In this weekly column, people talk about something they never want to experience, do or not do again. This week: Rosanna (45) was very shocked when she had a severe epileptic attack out of nowhere two years ago. The cause of this was even more serious: she turned out to have two brain tumors. “I refused to write goodbye letters.”
“I already sounded the alarm to my doctor in 2016. I regularly suffered from headaches and migraines, and when I was jumping on the trampoline with my youngest son, it seemed as if I felt something going back and forth. in my head. In the hospital I had an MRI scan, but it showed nothing. I was relieved, especially given my family history. My mother, my grandmother and an aunt had a brain tumor, so I was secretly there a little afraid of.
When I asked the neurologist if I could have another scan in five years, I was refused. That was only allowed if I really had complaints. Bizarre when you consider that six years later I received a devastating diagnosis.”
“It was around a quarter past five in the morning, my eldest son’s birthday. I was still sleeping and suddenly had a severe epileptic attack. My husband was already awake because he had to go to work. He suddenly saw me convulsing. and I was foaming at the mouth.
I didn’t get any of that myself. I remember fragments: that there were two ambulance workers standing next to my bed, and that I was ashamed because I had passed urine during that attack. I had to go with the ambulance. In the emergency room I had to walk in a straight line, which was impossible. I swayed like I was drunk. Then I had a CT scan and an MRI.”
Two tumors
“The neurologist, a nice young woman, came to my bedside and gave me the news: I had two tumors in my head, a large one in the front left and a smaller one behind my right eye. I was very shocked, but I did not cry. Emotions are late It’s not easy for me anyway. The advantage is that my mother, grandmother and aunt also had a brain tumor and survived.
That also gave me confidence in a good outcome. But of course I was worried. I had just become a grandmother and would babysit two days a week in addition to working three days. I saw that go up in smoke.”
“I had to wait three months for the operation to remove the large tumor of 5.7 centimeters. That waiting time was terrible. It made me restless and I was afraid that I would have another epileptic attack. Moreover, I wanted to get rid of that tumor.” have my head.
It was a risky procedure and I was afraid how I would come out of that surgery. All it took was something to go wrong… I thought I should write farewell letters, just in case. But in the end I didn’t. This had to go well, I had to survive this for my children and granddaughter.”
No radiation
“Fortunately the four-hour operation went well, the tumor was removed. The smaller tumor behind my eye cannot be operated on because of the location. Radiation was also not recommended. The tumor is very small and does not cause any damage now. If nerves are accidentally hit during radiation, I could go blind. I didn’t want to take that risk.
It was therefore decided, in consultation with the neurosurgeon, to monitor the tumor every year with an MRI scan. The tumor is now stable. But it always remains in the background. As soon as I feel stitches or have blurred vision, I worry that the tumor has grown. I have to learn to live with that uncertainty.”
“I can only babysit my grandchildren to a limited extent. I am a young grandmother and did not expect to feel so old.”
“The recovery was and is difficult. I spent three months in outpatient rehabilitation with a psychologist, occupational therapist, physiotherapist and social worker. I am still not the same as I used to be and I never will be again. I have memory problems and am easily overstimulated. busy birthdays, for example, are too much for me and I can’t have a conversation with anyone when the TV is on, while I used to arrange everything for everyone.”
Exhausted after an hour of chatting
“I am now taking a training course to learn to deal with my loss. The old Rosanna is not coming back. That is frustrating, because I want to be able to do everything again. I have to take my limited energy into account. After an hour of chatting with a friend, I When I leave a store, I sometimes no longer remember where I parked my car and my condition is a lot less than before.
I keep encountering myself. I don’t want to be sick, pathetic Rosanna. My work as an administrative assistant is no longer working, the numbers are dancing before my eyes. Reading a book is not possible and I can only take care of my grandchildren to a limited extent – I now have two. I feel guilty about that, because I enjoy it so much. “I’m a young grandmother and I didn’t expect to feel so old.”
“If the tumor grows behind my right eye, it can still be irradiated. In principle, I can grow old with it, but it all remains uncertain. My head remains sensitive. I am afraid of a brain haemorrhage or another epileptic attack, but fortunately it disappears. that fear is increasingly fading into the background.
I never want to experience an epileptic attack again. It’s terrible because I didn’t feel it coming at all. I like to have control and during an attack you don’t have that at all. I don’t want to pee again and go to the hospital in the ambulance, that was very scary. If I have another attack, I have to go back on medication and am not allowed to drive for a while. Very inconvenient, because I live in a small village and really need a car.”
Hard reset
“The anxious feeling that there is always something hanging over my head is very unpleasant. But perhaps a hard reset was needed in my life. I have always been at the service of others, now I can think about myself, although that remains difficult. I enjoy of my garden, the flowers, the forest and the sun. And of my children and grandchildren, I think it is very important that those little ones really get to know me. I am still here, that is the most important thing.”
For privacy reasons, the name Rosanna has been changed.
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Never Again: Trusting Your Instincts in the Face of Adversity
Well, folks, gather around because it’s time to dive into a gripping tale of resilience that could make a soap opera look like a casual family dinner! This week’s Never Again column features Rosanna, a woman whose life did a complete 180, all thanks to some pesky tumors that decided to crash the party. I mean, really? Two brain tumors? That’s not just a bad day; that’s a plot twist that leaves you questioning whether the universe has a personal vendetta against you.
Imagine waking up on your eldest son’s birthday and BAM!—you’re experiencing an epileptic seizure. Forget cake and balloons, you’re having the time of your life, writhing in agony, and foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog. Not quite the cheerful send-off to a birthday celebration, right? Rosanna’s shock was palpable. It’s as if the universe decided to play a cruel joke: "Happy birthday! Here’s some brain drama!"
The Medical Mystery
Rosanna’s journey started with headaches and a trampoline jump that felt like something was playing tug-of-war inside her head. She tried to raise the alarm with her doctor back in 2016. But what do you know? It’s like asking to check the weather, only to be told it’s perfectly sunny while you’re dodging raindrops. The MRI didn’t pick up anything, and so she walked out, briefly relieved until six years later, when the universe was like, “Surprise!”
Now, hold on a minute – who in their right mind denies a follow-up scan when there’s a family history of brain tumors? It’s like saying no to a second slice of cake at a wedding—you know it’s going to end in tears.
Surgery and Self-Discovery
Fast forward to the diagnosis of not one, but two tumors—cue dramatic music! Rosanna’s amusing quirkiness was apparent when she mentioned she didn’t cry at the news. Emotions taking the scenic route, perhaps? The operation was a risky affair, but she didn’t want to pen goodbye letters for her kids. Because let’s be honest, who spends their spare time writing emotional farewells when there are Netflix shows to binge-watch?
The surgery was a success, and she got to keep her gallop about her garden and family, though now with a sprinkle of caution and a large helping of apprehension. As if from a medical sitcom, she recounts how she can only babysit her grandkids to a limited extent. Ouch! She’s young at heart but doing an impressive impression of someone who has just completed a triathlon… in slow motion.
Living With Uncertainty
Now let’s talk about post-surgery life. It sounds like a delightful combination of hard resets and newfound anxieties. Rosanna found herself fighting a constant battle with uncertainty, akin to waiting for a text back from a crush—will the tumor grow? Will I need to rush to the hospital for another round? It’s enough to drive anyone mad!
But she’s not just sitting there sulking; she’s taking control (albeit while juggling some memory issues—who hasn’t forgotten where they parked their car, right?). Enjoying her garden feels like a personal triumph, and despite all the drama, she’s still surrounded by the love of her children and grandchildren. Because at the end of the day, that’s what matters, and they’ll definitely remember the grandma who could beat cancer but not find her car.
Conclusion: Resilience Through the Chaos
So, what do we take away from Rosanna’s riveting saga? It’s a brilliant reminder that life can throw some serious curveballs, and how we respond to them showcases our true character. She might be tired and navigating personal storms, but she’s here and thriving in her way. It’s not about being “sick, pathetic Rosanna”, but living with a fierce determination to find joy amidst the turmoil.
And as a cheeky closing thought: if you ever get the urge to skip a follow-up on medical issues or ignore that gut feeling, just remember Rosanna’s story. Life’s too precious to overlook the warning signs. Keep alert, keep questioning, and for goodness’ sake, enjoy every trampoline jump while you can!
What are effective ways to build a support system during difficult life transitions?
T, feeling a tinge of guilt mixed with joy—like trying to juggle eggs while riding a unicycle. She’s a young grandmother who suddenly feels much older, navigating a new reality filled with uncertainties and the remnants of her previous life.
**Embracing Change**
Now, while Rosanna grapples with memory problems and persistent fatigue, she’s also finding power in her experience. She’s taking a training course to help her adjust to this new chapter, proving that even in the face of adversity, growth can happen. She’s learning to carve out space for herself amidst the chaos, tending to her garden, relishing the beauty of nature, and staying connected with her family.
Her admission that she enjoys the little moments with her children and grandchildren highlights how the most crucial things in life endure. Yes, she’s changed, but there’s newfound wisdom and strength in her journey, a living testament to resilience.
**Looking Forward**
Despite the looming uncertainty of her health, Rosanna’s outlook is one of cautious optimism. She recognizes the risks—her tumors might also dictate a more limited future—but she refuses to let fear define her. There’s a lesson here: life may throw shocking twists that seem insurmountable, but within those challenges lie opportunities for growth and reflection.
she is embracing the notion that perhaps, just perhaps, this “hard reset” was what she needed. It’s a reminder to cherish time, to savor simplicity, and to remain present amid life’s unpredictabilities. Rosanna’s story is vital, reminding us all that while life may help us grow in unexpected ways, it’s how we choose to move forward that truly defines us.
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As Rosanna navigates this tricky path, her story is a powerful testament to the importance of support systems, resilience, and the profound ways in which we can face life’s challenges. She emphasizes the importance of leaning on loved ones and finding joy in everyday moments, showing that even when life changes dramatically, our capacity for love, connection, and growth remains steadfast.
**Want to Share Your Story?**
Like Rosanna, if you have a story about a life-altering experience or the lessons learned along the way—whether it’s about health struggles, personal challenges, or anything in between—consider sharing it with us. Your journey could inspire and empower others who find themselves in unexpected situations. Email us your story at weekendmagazine@rtl.nl. Let’s keep the conversation going and shed light on the resilience of the human spirit!