NBA Season Kickoff: What’s Cooking in Basketball?
Well, well, well! Just like that, the first week of the NBA season is in the books, and if you’re wondering, “What on Earth have I been missing?” then settle in, because it’s glorious chaos this year, folks!
We’ve had everything from groin injuries to dunking disasters, and no, I’m not talking about my last attempt to impress my flatmate at the local basketball court. I accidentally turned a layup into a lay-down—it was all rather embarrassing! But, let’s steer clear of my personal foul and get back to the hardwood.
The Celtics are still the team to beat
The defending champion Boston Celtics have kicked off the season with a “4-0” bang—no fireworks necessary. Jayson Tatum is practically auditioning for the role of “Basketball God” with an average of 28.5 points per game, and boy, if his stats were a theme park ride, it would be “The Vault” at Six Flags—a guaranteed thrill! Did you catch that game against the Milwaukee Bucks? Payton Pritchard had eight three-pointers. EIGHT! If that was my bank account, I’d be on my way to becoming a billionaire by now—Pritchard clearly knows how to cash in!
And let’s not forget, despite the absence of Kristaps Porzingis—who, let’s be honest, seems to be on a personal quest of “hide and seek” with his ankle—the Celtics are averaging a wild 124.3 points per game! If this keeps up, they might have to start drafting up plans to give the scoring a rest, or they’ll be rushing to get seats for their own “Celtics Fan Club”!
Tyrese Maxey shines for the 76ers
Over in Philadelphia, the 76ers are riding the injury wave with Joel Embiid and Paul George currently auditioning to be part-time basketball players. Enter Tyrese Maxey, who’s proving to be the “Josh Groban” of this ensemble—loud and delightful when it matters most! Scoring 45 points against the Indiana Pacers to lift his team during OT? That’s not just a career highlight; it’s like pulling the biggest surprise birthday party ever. “Happy Birthday, here’s your win!”
But one can’t help but wonder—how long can good ol’ Maxey keep this up? If he keeps logging minutes like he’s training for the marathon of the century, we might need to put together a “Tyrese Maxey Appreciation Society” on Facebook—it’ll be more popular than any cat meme page! Because let’s be honest, while Embiid and George are MIA, if the 76ers win a championship, Maxey better get the credit he deserves, or it’ll feel like a classic crime drama with a twist ending.
This draft class is brutal
Now, here’s where things take a turn. This year’s draft class is looking about as promising as a rainy Monday morning. We were spoiled last year with Victor Wembanyama—hands-up for making us all look bad! But this year’s top picks, Zaccharie Risacher and Alexandre Sarr, are more “meh” than “wow.” Did anyone else watch their showdown last week? It was like watching two soggy biscuits flop around a puddle—barely scoring, both looking like they forgot their shoes at home!
In a match-up between the Hawks and Wizards, Risacher finished with a whopping four points on a stellar 1-for-8 shooting night. Seven rebounds? Great, but let’s face it, that’s not going to get him a Model contract in the league! The basketball gods have cleared their throats and are haphazardly pushing us into a dark alley of disappointment. Fingers crossed some of these rookies pull a rabbit out of the hat—or maybe a Hall of Fame career for Bronny James is the only answer to salvation!
So there you have it! The NBA season has kicked off with a bang, some injuries, and more drama than any reality TV show you can think of. Stay tuned, folks—because if this first week is any indication, it’s going to be a wild ride!
And just like that, the first week of the NBA season is in the books, showcasing a mix of triumphs and tribulations that set the stage for what promises to be an exciting season.
The Celtics are still the team to beat
Boston star Jayson Tatum, who has spent a significant amount of time on the bench during the United States’ gold medal run at the Paris Olympics, is turning heads this season. He has silenced critics with remarkable averages of 28.5 points, 6.8 rebounds, and 5.5 assists per game. His efficiency is evident as he boasts an impressive 51.3 percent shooting percentage from the field and an eye-popping 41.9 percent from beyond the arc.
Tatum’s success has been pivotal in the Celtics maintaining their undefeated streak, currently standing at 4-0. The team’s depth is also a key factor, as evidenced by Payton Pritchard’s explosive performance on Monday night against the Milwaukee Bucks. Coming off the bench, Pritchard hit eight three-pointers, scoring a total of 28 points and helping lead Boston to a 119-108 victory.
If a team’s success is measured by its weakest link, the Celtics should have little to worry about. Their collective performance has been stellar, averaging an astounding 124.3 points per game while missing center Kristaps Porzingis, who is sidelined due to an ankle injury. Once Porzingis returns to the lineup, the potential for this team will be limitless.
Tyrese Maxey is the most important piece of the 76ers
Signing Embiid and George is all well and good for Philadelphia, but that duo can only have an impact if they’re on the court. So far that hasn’t been the case, so Maxey is the leader of the Sixers for the moment. He fully embraced his role on Sunday, scoring 45 points as Philadelphia beat the Indiana Pacers 118-114 in overtime for its first win of the season.
Sure, Embiid and George missing three games right now may not be a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but they’re not going to come out and have a clean bill of health for the remaining 79 games. It’s not a question of whether injuries will plague them again; it’s when.
Maxey could end up logging the most minutes for the 76ers this season, so don’t be surprised if he completely steals the spotlight.
This draft class is brutal
Last year’s draft gave us Victor Wembanyama, and now it seems like the basketball gods are making us live in misery. Zaccharie Risacher and Alexandre Sarr, the top two picks in the class of 2024, have been, well, uh, disappointing, to say the least. Does it help that Risacher is on the Atlanta Hawks and Sarr is on the Washington Wizards? No. But still, you’d think one of these guys would have shown us something by now.
Risacher, who placed first overall, and Sarr met for the first time Monday, when Washington beat Atlanta 121-119. Instead of fireworks, we had dollar store sparklers, as Risacher finished with more fouls (five) than points (four) and was 1-for-8 from the field.
Sarr wasn’t much better, scoring seven points and making three of eleven shots. He also had nine rebounds. It will take a Hall of Fame career from Bronny James to save this draft class.