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Cancer
At the beginning of 2017, Miranda’s life took a major turn. She gets divorced herself, and not only her father, but also her mother becomes ill. “My father was diagnosed with ureteral cancer, which they treat as kidney cancer, but it is not exactly that. Shortly afterwards my mother started having complaints in her chest and pain in her arm and back. Not much later we heard that she had breast cancer. The funny thing was, the day my father had his major operation to remove the ureter, my mother had her first chemo.”
“Because my parents were divorced, I sat with my father and my sister with my mother. This way we kept each other informed,” says Miranda. It’s a tough period. “I myself was going through a divorce and had to leave the house with two children. Then your parents also get sick, while they are normally my source of support. At once I had to support them. That was quite a blow. I was really in survival mode.”
Second blow
After the operation, her father was declared better. Her mother also got control of the disease after sixteen radiation treatments and chemo, but not for long. “My mother had a fairly aggressive form of breast cancer, so we knew there was a good chance it would return within five years. Every check-up was exciting, you hope to get through those five years.” The disease also returns in her father. “This time it had spread and it became clear that he would not get better. We didn’t know at the time how long he had left.”
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The news hits like a bomb. “The ground drops from under your feet,” says Miranda. “My father was quite anxious himself. He looked at me and said: Miran, I’m dying. I can’t describe what that does to you as a daughter. You know he’s going to die, but there’s so much uncertainty.” Meanwhile, her mother’s back problems return. “My father was sick, so she kept her mouth shut. She did let us know that she was bothered by certain things, but she did not go to the doctor. She didn’t want that.” Miranda’s father decides not to receive treatment anymore. “His body couldn’t handle it anymore. It would only make him sicker and he preferred quality of life. He died not much later.”
While she is still processing one blow, another follows. “After my father passed away, we heard that my mother’s cancer had returned. It was now also in the vertebra, so we knew it was the end of the story. Then your father has just died, and you receive this message from your mother. It was like the world was ending. I just thought: how am I going to survive this?”
Combative
Miranda’s mother does not avoid treatment. “She wanted to do everything she could to continue as long as possible. It made her very ill; nauseous, weak, her hair was falling out. She was really combative. Even when we came over, she had to and would make the coffee and preferably she would also make something to eat.” Until Miranda’s mother reaches a point where she can hardly walk anymore. “Because the cancer was also in the spine, she started to walk more and more crooked. She was in her late sixties, but looked ninety. It’s very strange to see your mother deteriorate like this.”
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The treatment is not working. “During one of the many visits to the hospital, it became clear that it could no longer be treated. My mother also indicated that she was exhausted, she could no longer. She had fought so hard, but to no avail. Ultimately, she chose to use euthanasia. It’s so bizarre to know that your mother is dying in a week, that there is a date. It’s almost impossible to explain.”
Euthanasia
“All three of my sisters and I had planned a day and night with my mother, so that we could still be one-on-one with her. That evening my mother and I looked through all the old photo albums and reminisced. That was super beautiful, but also sad and heavy at the same time.” Step by step, Miranda’s mother says goodbye to family and friends. “It wasn’t until I saw everyone saying goodbye that I realized how hard it was for me. But also how hard it must have been for her. She had to say goodbye to everyone.”
Miranda thinks it’s a completely different way of saying goodbye. “My father couldn’t say goodbye. That was a matter of waiting. When you suddenly have a date, you know exactly when it will happen. Thoughts went through my head like: on this day next week you will no longer be here. Every hour is another hour less, an hour away from her life. I thought that was unreal.”
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Unreal
And it is still surreal that both parents are no longer here. “Sometimes I still have the feeling that they can just walk in. You often hear from people that it should be given a place, but I don’t feel that way. It is always present. The loss also makes me feel like they are just as close. I miss them every day. Despite everything I’ve been through with them and it didn’t always go smoothly, I am extremely grateful that they were my parents.”
In memory of Cees Kamer January 26, 1954 – January 1, 2020 and Carla Bos May 11, 1952 – October 18, 2021.
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Commentary on a Heartbreaking Journey Through Cancer
Ah, cancer! The one word that can turn anyone’s day from ‘great’ to ‘well, I need a stiff drink and a long nap.’ In the case of Miranda, it’s not just her parents’ health that gets diagnosed with a terminal condition; it’s her entire reality, crammed into a melodrama that would make even the bravest soap opera actor break character and reach for the tissues!
The Crux of Catastrophe
So, let’s recap: Miranda’s life began a rather unfortunate descent into tragedy around 2017. First, a divorce—because nothing says “fun times” like a marriage turning into a reality show that you didn’t sign up for. Subsequently, both her parents decide that their health could use a plot twist of Hollywood proportions, embarking on a whirlwind tour of cancer and chemotherapy. Your father is in for the urological adventure of the year, while your mother taps out a classic performance of breast cancer. Ladies and gentlemen, the stage is set.
Second Blow: Like a Pair of Sneaky Uppercuts
Miranda’s story unfolds like an ill-timed punchline; just when you think you’ve caught your breath, the universe goes, “Surprise! Not done yet!” After the dust settles on her father’s surgery, it’s not long before the unpredictable twist reveals itself—her mother’s cancer has returned with a vengeance faster than a bad comedy special getting a second season. It seems that every “comeback” season deserves its own share of drama, doesn’t it?
The Unthinkable Reality of Saying Goodbye
What Miranda is forced to confront is a heartbreaking and, dare I say, surreal battle against time. The news of her father’s terminal condition strikes a chord so deep you can almost hear it echo through the universe. The old horror movie trope of “he’s dying, folks!” ushers in emotions that evoke reactions ranging from disbelief to pure existential dread. As if navigating through one dying parent wasn’t enough, the next act showcases her mother who, determined and “combative” in spirit, is battling through treatments that can knock even a UFC fighter out for the count. But tough as nails, she still insists on making coffee. Talk about being a mother, even at the very end!
Euthanasia: The Final Performance
Then we reach a bittersweet climax—her mother’s decision regarding euthanasia, in a way resembling a calm before the storm. This is perhaps where the line between life and death becomes the thinnest, where the gut punch is less about the act itself and more about the poignant moments leading up to it. Miranda and her sisters share vulnerabilities, nostalgia, and an abundance of memories through photo albums—a beautiful but decidedly heavy farewell. Nothing sells a good sob story quite like flipping through the family photo card catalog while knowing a tragic ending is already written!
Reality Check: Coming to Terms with Loss
And just like that, both parents are gone—time ticks into an uncanny silence that feels like an echo of their absence. Miranda’s world shifts dramatically, and here comes the real kicker: acceptance is treated more like a mythical creature that you think you’ve spotted but never truly encounter. Miraculously, the loss keeps them close, reminding us that love transcends even the most disheartening circumstances, weaving a narrative that keeps the heart heavy but full.
What an emotional rollercoaster this tale has been! Yet amid all the tragedy, the essence of love shines through like a beacon of hope—a testament to the strength we can find even when the script is drenched in despair. And as we raise our glasses to the late Cees and Carla, may we always remember the stories untold and the love unbroken.
