There are many conflicts between men and women that are difficult to avoid even between lovers or couples who have been together for a long time. In particular, they often argue because they feel that communication is not good.
This is often because a relatively ‘simple’ man does not understand a woman’s language that is ‘complex’ to the extent that other meanings are hidden. Professor Chang-ok Kim, a popular lecturer specializing in communication, <어쩌다 어른>He pointed out that there are many couples who struggle because of the different languages of men and women.
Usually when we go shopping together, when a woman asks a woman what clothes suits her better, men usually answer “it looks good” without much thought. However, this may sound indifferent to women, and Professor Kim explains that women are actually looking for answers regarding how and what specifically suits them.
Because men and women have different brains…
This difference in language between men and women has already been proven by neuroscience. The human brain consists of several centers, and one of the central centers is the ‘language center’. The language center refers to a specific area of the cerebral cortex that controls the production and understanding of language. Because of this, what you hear and what you say have a big impact on your life.
According to a study in the Department of Neuropsychiatry at the University of California, it was reported that the average man’s speech center becomes fatigued following using 7,000 words per day. On the other hand, the average woman’s language backbone feels like she’s conversing and communicating properly when she uses 20,000 words a day.
◆If we meet for a long time, is it normal to quarrel?
Usually, when we first start dating, we rarely argue over dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is produced a lot in the early stages of falling in love, and it plays a role in transmitting the excitement of nerve cells in the brain.
Therefore, they accept each other’s complaints, and even a man with an active dopamine secretion behaves excessively kindly, such as taking him a long distance.
Even though the distance is inefficient from a rational point of view. It is because of this dopamine that it has been said that any hardship can be overcome with the power of love.
However, the period of release of dopamine is limited to the beginning of a relationship. Therefore, over a long period of time, in the case of men, it is highly likely that they will become more indifferent and rational. It is just a return to the original self.
However, despite a decrease in dopamine as they become accustomed to each other, well-connected couples have striking characteristics. The secret is ‘self-esteem’.
If you get used to the other person instead of loving passionately, you will treat them the same as when you treat yourself. In other words, it means to act ‘as I treat myself’ to the person you love.
Therefore, people with high self-esteem will treat each other with respect, and if they have high self-esteem, this relationship can be filled with positive communication and treatment without hot dopamine. 
