October 13, 2024
Dear Director, “the mole effect” spreads like a virus, but fortunately it does not claim victims. We can, therefore, laugh about it. In banks, in political parties, in the Services, wherever there is a secret to keep, there is always a mole ready to dig his lair. So Giorgia Meloni was forced to transform herself into a weasel by hunting, in the dark woods, those beasts that infiltrate private chats and bank accounts. The stone marten, as we know, loves small family groups and so, in the hunt for the infamous moles, our Giorgia is flanked by two stainless foxes: Patrizia Scruti and her husband, the escort leader Giuseppe Napoli, who have eyes and ears everywhere… or almost. There is also no shortage of the friendly talking cricket Tommaso Foti and the solitary owl Fazzolari, the only one, in fact, used to actually hunting. Baluu, the good bear Guido Crosetto, stands tall in the woods: faithful but never condescending and, perhaps, a little fed up with the general trend. He did not hesitate to give the green light to the investigation against those snakes that crawl and spit poison. Also wanting the mole’s fur is the very nice Giovanni Donzelli, affectionately called “Minnie”. With him, the gunfighter Andrea Delmastro Delle Vedove, the fastest claw in Palazzo Chigi (he was the first to find confidential information on the Cospito case). Delmastro, appointed a bit too carelessly as undersecretary of Justice with responsibility for prisons, was renamed, when he was discovered to be Minnie’s roommate, “Mickey Mouse”. Two years after her well-deserved arrival at Palazzo Chigi, Giorgia finds herself, against her will, in the Fangorn forest. With the frustration that, instead of dealing full-time with the government’s problems, she is forced to wear the role of a weasel and hunt moles who dig deep tunnels, making the ground on which she would like to build her “new nation” unstable.
And he finds moles everywhere: from Via Bellerio in Milan, headquarters of the League, to the secret refuge of ranger Salvini, near Piazza Cavour in Rome; they are even in the Arcore park, where they are multiplying visibly. And it even seems that they also dig in the gardens of the Quirinale and Castel Fusano, away from prying eyes. “Give us our daily dossier today,” Meloni posted disheartenedly on social media after discovering that her current account, and that of other colleagues, had been “viewed” by an unfaithful banker. In all this, the staid game warden Alfredo Mantovano, who always dreams of the Interior Ministry, taking advantage of the search for the elusive spy of the offending chat, no longer lets anything slip away in the Palace. After ordering the removal of the policemen who were guarding the presidential offices, his suspicions also struck the clerks, who, poor things, were denied access to some areas of the Presidency. Now, we await the enlistment, to defend the muffled rooms, especially those of the Premier’s personal quarters on the third floor, of a handful of valiant patriots complete with predatory tattoos on their chests, Super Giuli style, with all due respect to the big cat Matteo Piantedosi who saw the valiant PS inspectorate of Palazzo Chigi downsized. But the most noisy issue, for now, concerns the failure in the election of the new constitutional judge, which made Francesco Saverio Marini appear like a “Vallespluga cockerel”. Son of an artist, with a father who was a former president of the Constitutional Court and a jurist brother, Marini seems to have ended up roasted under the laughter of constitutionalists who, it seems, don’t appreciate him very much. The blessing of the Pope, who appointed him a judge of the Vatican tribunal, was of little use to him, nor did he always make the rounds of the seven churches among the parliamentary groups in search of glory. The misadventure made Giorgia reflect, who admitted: «In the end I will give up because of this. Why live this life to get these people elected, even not.” The paradox is that this martyrdom isolates her even more, making her resemble Sam Spade, a character from Dashiell Hammett’s novels. The cynical detective never laughs and uses both suspenders and a belt because he doesn’t even trust his pants. Besides, how can you blame her?
Government life is increasingly reminiscent of the Hunger Games series, with obstacles at every turn and the smartphone held like a rifle. A former police chief said using it was like shouting from the balcony with a megaphone. Tony Blair boasted of never having owned a cell phone and the US Secret Service even banned Obama from using one. Encirclement syndrome is part of the game of who’s in charge. Matteo Renzi created the «Giglio Magico», where the legendary MEB shone, Pierluigi Bersani created, with his Emilian friends, the «Tortello Magico». Massimo D’Alema, for his part, loved to surround himself with his “Lothars”, such as Claudio Velardi, Nicola La Torre and Fabrizio Rondolino who, while he was the prime minister’s spokesperson, thought it best to publish a book of erotic stories. If he hasn’t already done so, Meloni should read an old novel by John Le Carré, “The Mole”, which tells of a KGB infiltrator in MI6. The mole operates for years, causing terrible damage, until George Smiley, dark hero of the British secret services, discovers that it is a colleague, who is also one of his closest friends. But Giorgia, instead of foreshadowing conspiracies – apparently even suspecting, during a meeting of the Council of Ministers, the well-trained general commander of the Army Teo Luzi, guilty of having dared to speak of the ius scholae in an interview with the Corriere – why doesn’t she bring the right and left to regulate access and authorizations more seriously so that, from the services to the banks, from the local health authorities to the various specialized bodies, there are no longer so many infidels who undermine privacy and democracy? There are solutions, but they require decisive interventions: limiting and tracking the recipients of SOS suspicious transaction reports, narrowing the field of conditions for which they must be reported where everything becomes mafia. There’s so much to do Giorgia… come on!
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