In a relationship with a Maman2, Migaelle Geoffrion juggles between shared custody of the elders and maternity leave for the youngest. She shares with us the stories and daily questions of her homoparental family.
Have you ever wondered when you were a kid what your life partner would be like? What traits would he pass on to your offspring? Have you ever thought regarding them, your future children? Do they have your green eyes or your nose turned up? Have you ever imagined what your family would look like?
I do. As a child, I loved to daydream regarding this family that I would have. I liked to imagine that the children would be like us, my lover and me. When I realized I was a lesbian, I had to revisit that dream and make some changes to it. In fact, I thought I would never be able to have children, period. It seemed to come with the package deal homosexuality; you know, the one that keeps us in the closet for a long time with our fears and uncertainties.
So I stopped imagining these children who would never come. It was easier like that and less painful. Then as I got older, I heard regarding the little miracle that is assisted reproduction. With a few (hundreds of) dollars less in my pocket, I might have access to this family that I had imagined so much.
A few years later, with my better half, we got into the workings of the commodification of gametes. The color of the hair, the eyes, the skin, the height, the tone of voice, the origins, in short, we had a multitude of possible criteria to select our ideal donor.
Love, in a same-sex couple, unfortunately does not give access to this lottery of physical traits between parents. His big eyes would never get mixed up with my upturned nose. It took a selection of physical traits to find our stranger. How do we choose the one that will give our children half of their genetic makeup?
Today we have two beautiful children. They don’t have big eyes and my upturned nose. It was blindly that we chose this stranger with whom we founded our family. His appearance did not matter to us, since like all parents we knew that, no matter what their appearance, our children would be the most beautiful in the world. And we were right.
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