Draw conclusions and make decisions when we are not feeling well; generalize; think very fast; reasoning superficially; not trusting ourselves or our possibilities; give importance to what is irrelevant; and believing everything we think are some of the main thinking errors we make most frequently, according to psychologist Tomás Navarro.
However, if he had to choose which is the thinking error that is most widespread and affects the most people in Western countries, Navarro points out that this error consists of “mentally limiting our alternatives in life.”
Thought errors are erroneous or biased ways of thinking, which lead us to interpret reality in a distorted way, and can cause us problems, generate conflicts and limit our lives, explains Navarro, psychologist, consultant, trainer, lecturer, therapist, writer and founder of an emotional well-being center.
To free our mind and achieve what we want, we need to “learn to distinguish rational thoughts from those that harm us and prevent us from growing,” given that “our way of thinking governs our relationship with ourselves and others, and can help us expand our life or to limit it,” warns Navarro in his book Think Beautiful.
The most common thinking error
Navarro considers that the thinking error of limiting our alternatives is very widespread in the population, because “although today we have at our disposal innumerable sources of information, we are immersed in a majority current or tendency of thought and preferences, of the which we didn’t even consider leaving.”
For example, “we all go on vacation to the same places and do what we are supposed to do at all times, according to the dictates of that model.” mainstream o mainstream of thought, with which our behaviors and ideas tend to be very directed,” according to Navarro.
This adherence to the mainstream not only makes us rule out some alternatives and possibilities, but engaging in behaviors and situations that follow a similar sequence have predictable consequences, and are often repeated in those who follow the ‘mainstream’ model, he adds.
Navarro gives an example: “you finish your degree at university, you go to work, you buy an apartment through a multi-year mortgage loan, you buy a vehicle, you get married and have children. Then it may happen that you lose your job and find yourself with a mortgaged apartment that you cannot pay for but you cannot sell it either because you paid too much for it.”
Another example: “You meet a person at a nightclub, you fall passionately in love with that person you are attracted to and you abruptly move in together. After a while, when the initial attraction wears off, you realize that you don’t share anything with that person, you have very little in common, you barely know them and you end up separating or divorcing.”
In these and other situations we might adopt different alternatives to “mainstream” behavior, but we unconsciously leave them out, due to our closed and limiting mental approach, to end up “doing what the majority does,” according to this psychologist.
Remove our mental bars
To discover and manage these alternatives, Navarro recommends applying a very simple psychological technique, which might be called “What if…?”
“For example, it might happen that following buying a very nice and well-located house or apartment, which you liked and suited at the time, you realize following a while that it has drawbacks that you were unaware of or that it no longer fits. to your new interests or personal needs, so you analyze the possibility of selling it and moving to another place,” explains Navarro.
He points out that the What if…? technique would consist of asking yourself: “What if I can be better off living somewhere else…?” or “What if I go to a place with more services…?”, in case you want to live in a place that offers you greater sporting, educational, recreational or cultural possibilities than your current residence.
Navarro tells of his own case, when, as a young man and with a permanent position in a hospital, he considered something that he really likes, traveling, but that a priori seemed complicated due to his situation since that would force him to give up his financial income.
Then he asked himself, “What if I might earn money traveling?”, which led him to explore that option and join a company that provides educational training all over the world, as he says.
Often “we do not consider options that are valid, but that are outside the mainstream,” he points out.
“Considering these alternatives seems to be penalized,” given that when we discuss our option to change with those around us, they usually consider it crazy, reckless, a mistake or a wrong decision, according to this expert.
What if I might be happier…?
“Navarro believes that not asking ourselves the question “What if?”, when necessary, can lead to dissatisfaction.
He points out that some people live bitterly as a couple, have a job that does not motivate them or an unsatisfactory personal life, but they do not open themselves to the alternative of changing these situations nor do they ask themselves questions, such as “What if we end this relationship that hurts us?” …?, What if I look for a job that I can enjoy…?, What if I change my life to improve it…?”
Another key to escaping the mental corset or cage of limiting thoughts, according to Navarro, is to focus on the solution instead of focusing on the problem.
“When we have to solve a problem and we focus on said problem, our thinking is limiting and obfuscates us; “We stay stuck in everything we cannot do,” he explains.
On the other hand, “when we focus on the solution, our thinking becomes more positive and open. We are able to awaken our most creative side to be able to explore possible alternatives that help us solve the problem,” he concludes.
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