2024-03-18 05:19:38
Our impulses can lead us to make decisions that we may regret for a lifetime. Discover these seven strategies and learn to control your emotions according to your convenience.
Do you often regret what you do? Do you feel that there is a powerful force directing your behavior? Maybe you should learn to control the impulses that lead you to react in this or that way, without consciously choosing it.
Impulsivity is not always bad. Rather, it depends on the situation. For example, if you are shy and by an unexpected act you decide to ask someone you like out… Congratulations! But if because of your impulses you consume excessively, are violent with your friends or say horrible things to your partner, it stops being a skill and becomes a problem.
Regulating emotions involves an arduous task that requires training in self-control and constant practice. Without a doubt, good emotional management makes a difference in our well-being. We share with you a series of psychological techniques that will help you take control of your life.
Strategies to learn to control impulses
Psychology has developed a multitude of techniques and strategies to elevate our capacity for control above our impulses, whether focused on the background of the situation or the response to it.
Marsha Linehan, a leading psychologist in dialectical behavioral therapy, has dedicated much of her work to providing valuable tools for emotional and behavioral regulation.
1. Assume the problem
First things first: you should know that the techniques will make sense as long as you recognize that you have a problem controlling impulses and decide to take steps to reverse it.
This involves being aware of the times you act impulsively and the negative effects this can have on different areas of your life. Once you have recognized the need for change, it is important that you commit to yourself.
2. Identify the origin of the impulses
Likewise, it is crucial to identify the causes behind the appearance of impulses. If you recognize that certain behaviors are linked to anxiety, for example, you can focus on its treatment and, in parallel, you will be working on regulating your emotions. In turn, by noticing the triggers you will be able to anticipate them and develop specific strategies.
3. Learn to tolerate discomfort
How easy to say it! You’re right, putting it into practice is much more complex. But not impossible. We invite you to try it.
Acquiring discomfort tolerance tools is essential to manage intense emotions, without resorting to impulsive behaviors. Marsha Linehan, highlights the following:
Radical acceptance:
This technique consists of accepting emotions and experiences without judging them as good or bad. It is regarding becoming friendly with the idea that discomfort is part of the human experience, and therefore, inevitable.
It does not mean that we should resign ourselves to pain or not seek positive changes in our lives. Radical acceptance means, rather, stopping resisting or fighting once morest what ails us, but we cannot change.
Distraction:
Distracting yourself helps emotions lose intensity. This way, you can consciously choose your actions. The goal is for the emotional heat to go down and you can see the situation with greater distance and rationality.
You can apply this strategy when you find yourself overcome with an emotion like anger, and you notice impulsive behavior coming on. Seek to do some activity that is pleasant to you and helps you drain what you feel. For example: calling a trusted friend, going for a walk, watering the plants, or reading a book.
Relaxation:
Another great alternative to tolerate discomfort, and thus control impulses, is to apply relaxation and mindfulness techniques. Connecting with your five senses will allow you to obtain emotional relief. Pay attention to what you can see, hear, touch, and you will see how everything changes.
You can also include other activities that bring you calm. Like listening to music that relaxes you, taking a hot bath, walking through a park or nature reserve and observing everything around you. Or just breathe deeply.
4. Stop and think
The Stop technique is another useful strategy proposed within the framework of dialectical behavioral therapy. In this case, people are taught to stop before acting impulsively and to evaluate the long-term consequences of their actions.
The Stop tool encourages reflection and conscious decision making rather than reacting automatically.
To apply it, simple steps must be executed:
Stop: The moment you feel the urge to react impulsively, whether for example by verbally attacking your partner or buying expendable products at the market, physically stop.
Take a step back: Literally and symbolically, distance yourself from the situation to gain a broader, more objective perspective.
Observe: Give yourself a moment to pay attention to your thoughts, emotions, and body sensations. Observe what happens with curiosity.
Continue with mindfulness and decide: Proceed by observing mindfully, evaluate the consequences of your actions and make a deliberate decision instead of being carried away by impulse.
5. Choose the battles you want to fight
It is evident that there are certain intolerable situations, in which it is your right and your duty to protect your integrity. No one should accept disrespect, humiliation, or abuse of any kind.
However, throughout the day we encounter a wide variety of small and unimportant situations that upset us more than we would like. To avoid resorting to unnecessary impulsive behaviors, it is essential that you learn to choose your battles. Ask yourself, do I want to invest energy and time in this matter? Is it something meaningful to me? Don’t forget that sometimes it is better to have peace than to be right.
6. Face problems
This strategy is the most difficult because it involves solving the problem that afflicted you. What you should do, in this case, is replace rumination with action. It’s not regarding punishing yourself by telling yourself how bad you feel, but rather focusing on alternatives to resolve it.
To do this you can ask yourself questions like: What is the problem regarding? Does it have to do with my job, my partner, my friends? What do I want to achieve? What paths exist to achieve what I want? What is the healthiest option?
By answering, you will obtain the information necessary to make a coherent decision regarding the problem and execute the coping plan. Keep in mind that the more concrete and detailed the planning of the steps to follow to carry out a specific action, the more likely success is.
7. Reward your desired behaviors
Positive reinforcement is also a good way to encourage self-control. Rewards can be good incentives for new adaptive behaviors.
Think regarding how you might reinforce yourself with attractive rewards, such as allowing yourself a moment of leisure or visiting your favorite coffee shop. You know yourself better than anyone; Use what you know regarding yourself to reward yourself when you act the way you expect.
Difference between acting and reacting
Acting means deliberately emitting the behavior that we desire and have selected. From this position we remain in control of our emotions and our actions. After weighing the options and the possible consequences, we choose what to say or do.
Instead, when we react, we give up our personal power. We let go of the rudder and drift from our emotional intensity. Actions and words become uncontrollable, because we have left power in the hands of an impulse.
Let’s do it!
Do you dare to put these strategies into practice today? Don’t lose sight of your life goal and the moment you feel the emotional tsunami approaching, stop and apply these techniques to learn to control your impulses. With perseverance and effort, you will get out of that trap in which you find yourself trapped today, trust yourself!
The Mind is Wonderful.-
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