fall in love with someone which is objectively impossible can make you suffer a lot. Impossible loves seem like something out of a romantic comedy or even Romeo and Juliet, but in real life they can lead you to experience sensations and very painful and stressful feelings.
When we fall in love, both biological and cultural factors influence our body. When we are attracted to someone, the brain experiences a series of chemical reactions that even makes us see the world around us in a different way. When you fall in love with someone who corresponds to you and who feels the same as you, we release dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin, among other neurotransmitters and hormones that make us feel emotions and joy. It’s like we are happier than ever for no apparent reason and the world becomes a better place. This is Love.
But if that love is impossible, ‘forbidden’ or unattainable For different reasons, this release of hormones ends up declining until it can cause important problems for our emotional stability. Trying to be with a person can lead to personal frustrations, anxiety, stress and even more serious mental health problems.
Experts call this infatuation as ‘the Romeo and Juliet effect‘, since far from disappearing, the feeling of desire or the need to be with the loved one increases when that difficulty exists. Is a attraction to frustration, since our brain wants to experience all the positive effects of love despite it being impossible.
Why are there impossible loves?
Love is not something that can be chosen Although many times we think that we control the situation and that we can fall in love whenever we want. According to experts, falling in love is not something as ‘free’ as we can imagine at first and even that ‘tendency’ to focus on objectively unattainable people can have its origin in childhood and how we have been treated as children.
Falling in love with someone unattainable can lead to emotional instability.Pixabay
There are people who fall in love with impossible things because they cannot live in a routine and They always have to face challenges or challenges also on a personal level. Continuously living on the edge or trying to achieve impossible things can lead to great frustrations. Even a love of this type can hide a fear of commitment, since since that love will never be reciprocated, we will not have to face any type of commitment with that person.
Tips to avoid falling in love with someone who is impossible
Although there is no magic formula to avoid falling in love with someone who is objectively impossible or unattainable, there are some strategies and approaches that might help you manage your emotions and minimize the risk of falling in love with someone like that. The psychologist and co-founder of ZinquoLaura Moncho Hernando, gives us the keys to achieve it:
- Set clear boundaries. From the beginning, set clear boundaries in your interactions with that person. If you don’t see or talk to that person, it will be easier to forget them.
- Focus on reality. Try to see the person objectively and realistically. Avoid idealizing the other person and not only seeing everything in rosy colors. He recognizes both his virtues and his imperfections, which like everyone else he surely has.
- Meet other people. Expand your social circle, go out with friends and meet new people. By engaging in different environments and meeting people with diverse experiences and perspectives, you can open yourself up to the possibility of finding healthier connections.
- Focus on yourself. Dedicate time and energy to your own personal growth, goals and activities. Building your self-esteem and finding fulfillment in your individual life can help you become less dependent on romantic relationships for your happiness.
- Reflect on your patterns. Examine your past experiences and consider if you have had tendencies to fall in love with unattainable people. Understanding your own patterns can be the first step to changing them.
- Consult trusted friends. Share your feelings with trusted friends or people who truly love you and who can offer objective perspectives on falling in love with that person who will never be by your side. Sometimes people close to you can provide valuable advice and point out things you might overlook.
- Prioritize self-knowledge. Reflect on your own needs, desires, and values in a relationship. The clearer you are regarding what you want and need in a partner, the easier it will be to recognize when a connection may not be healthy or viable.
- Ask for help. If you need it, don’t hesitate and ask for help from a professional to help you forget that person and look forward with optimism.
Falling in love with someone impossible and forgetting them requires a phase of mourning.Pixabay
“Remember that you can’t always control who you fall in love with. However, taking these approaches can help you manage your emotions in a healthier way and make more conscious decisions in your relationships. And remember: “Loving the possible liberates, the impossible limits,” advises Laura Moncho.
fall on the same stone
There are people who always look for a profile that makes them suffer, why? “People who repeatedly fall into impossible loves may do so because of childhood patterns, low self-esteem, fear of commitment or successneed for rescue, emotional addiction, lack of personal limits or distorted beliefs regarding love,” concludes the expert.
How to forget an impossible love
If you have realized that that person is not for you or that this is not the moment in which you can live your love fully, it is time to turn the page and look to the future. Of course, you should know that when this happens, you will have to go through what is known as griefsomething we have to face when we lose someone we love in one way or another.
In this process You are likely to experience very different emotions such as rage, anger or sadness. Little by little you will feel better once more and you will be able to recover your joy and the desire to fall in love once more. There is no rush, take your time and try to love and take care of yourself.
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