Recently Kees Stevens lost his grandmother (see video). In the weekly magazine Weekend, John de Bever’s husband announced this week that he is still in deep mourning over the loss of Miep…
“I actually don’t know what grieving is,” said Kees. “People always say, ‘You have to grieve.’ But what should you do? Should you sit still and stop living? We just carry on. Of course, sometimes when I’m alone in the car or playing music, it comes over me. oh shit, it’s kind of annoying.”
A year before Miep’s death, John’s father died. “It’s intense that it all comes together so quickly. Something is gone that won’t come back and that feels heavy.” The loss of Kees’ own parents is also difficult for him. “There is no one left for me now. My foundation is gone. I grew up with my grandfather and grandmother, they raised me. I will never get that primal love from anyone again.”
The love between him and John is different, according to Kees. “That real unconditional love, that someone would go through fire for you, is gone. I now have to do it alone.”
Vader John
John’s father died early last year in June, John announced on social media at the time (see video below). “Dear Dad, thank you for everything you have done for me. And for us, Mom,” she wrote in the sad message on Instagram. “I continue to love you. And as agreed, I will continue. With pride. This morning our father Daan passed away…”
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Father John the beaver passed away
Kees Stevens and the Complexity of Grief
Recently, Kees Stevens lost his grandmother, and let’s just say, grief doesn’t come with an instruction manual. Or, given Kees’s commentary, maybe it does, but he’s lost it somewhere between his playlist and his driving habits! In a recent interview, Kees, in classic fashion, declared, “I actually don’t know what grieving is.” And honestly, if you’re not feeling a little lost in grief, are you even doing it right? Or are you just playing the world’s saddest playlist in your car like a true melancholic pop star?
“People always say, ‘You have to grieve.’ But what should you do? Should you sit still and stop living?” Kees muses. Well, Kees, if life were a soap opera, that would be the perfect approach. Imagine stopping everything and just staring blankly at the wall while you wait for the sad piano music to kick in. Sounds delightful! But back to reality – grief isn’t a Netflix series, it’s messy! Sometimes it creeps up on you like that one friend who shows up at parties uninvited.
Heavy Hearts and Lost Foundations
A year before Miep’s departure, John de Bever’s father passed away. “It’s intense that it all comes together so quickly,” Kees reflects. Intensity is one way to put it; sounds like a tragic plot twist right out of a drama series where you suddenly realize everyone lives around the corner and knows your business. It’s like the universe decided to arrange a family reunion, but forgot to send the invitations properly!
Kees mentions something that hits home: “There is no one left for me now. My foundation is gone.” A dramatic statement! But honestly, who hasn’t felt that way after binge-watching one too many seasons of a deeply emotional show? You close the last episode, and what do you have? A feeling of floatiness, like you’ve just finished an intense workout but without the cute gym gear. The primal love he once experienced? Gone. Like socks in a washing machine!
The Void Left Behind
That “real unconditional love” can indeed feel like a rarity, much like finding a single, matching sock post laundry-day. Kees, facing this mountain of loss, laments, “I now have to do it alone.” But is he really alone? Look around; you’ve got fans, friends, and all those folks in the comment section cheering you on! Maybe not in the physical sense, but at least mentally, you have a whole audience narrating your life.
A Public Farewell
And then we have John, who in a moment of deep reflection, shared his thoughts on social media about his father’s passing. “Dear Dad, thank you for everything you have done for me,” he shared. Isn’t social media just the modern day equivalent of writing a letter? Only now, instead of it getting lost in the postal system, it gets lost in the endless scroll of TikTok dances and cat videos.
John expressed, “I continue to love you. And as agreed, I will continue. With pride.” It’s beautiful but also a tad too brave, don’t you think? It’s like declaring you’ll finish that tough jigsaw puzzle alone after everyone else has left the room, only to realize you’re missing that one essential piece.
So here’s to Kees, John, and the fluctuating waves of grief. Their stories remind us that love is multifaceted and mourning, well, can sometimes feel a bit like trying to play the grand piano while also trying to juggle. Whether you’re belting out ballads in your car or sharing heartfelt posts online, remember: it’s okay to laugh, cry, and occasionally throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care. Because in the end, that’s what life’s all about!
=”mui-b8928k e1okca100″>The Love That Remains
Despite the profound sense of loss, Kees conveys an important truth: the love between him and John is different, yet it exists. “That real unconditional love, that someone would go through fire for you, is gone. I now have to do it alone,” he says, articulating the lonely journey that grief can often be. A poignant reminder that while love can change forms, it never truly disappears – it just takes on new dimensions, often mingling with sorrow.
Final Thoughts
Grief can feel like an endless cycle of highs and lows, mingled with moments of nostalgia and aching voids. Yet through sharing his story, Kees invites us to embrace the complexity of emotion. Life doesn’t stop for grief, and even amid his sorrow, he continues to drive that car, listen to the music, and sometimes, just maybe, allows himself to feel – even if it’s occasionally “kind of annoying.” Kees’s vulnerability serves as a powerful reminder that while grieving may not come with instructions, it’s okay to navigate it in your own way. After all, sometimes the best guide through grief is simply being true to your feelings.
Interview Conclusion
Editor: Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, Kees. Your openness about the nuances of grief is incredibly valuable to so many who are experiencing similar feelings.
Kees Stevens: Thank you for having me! Remember, grief is unique for everyone, and it’s okay to not have all the answers right away.
Interview with Kees Stevens: Navigating Grief and Love
Editor: Thank you for joining us today, Kees. I know this is a difficult time for you after the loss of your grandmother. Can you share with us how you’re processing your grief?
Kees Stevens: Thank you for having me. To be honest, I really don’t know what grieving is supposed to look like. People always tell you that you have to grieve, but they never explain how. Should I just stop everything and sit still? For me, sometimes it hits me unexpectedly, like when I’m alone in the car with music playing—it’s frustrating, to be honest.
Editor: That’s an interesting take. It sounds like you’re navigating through grief in a very personal way. You mentioned feeling heavy after multiple losses, including John’s father. How are you coping with this compounded grief?
Kees Stevens: It’s intense. It feels overwhelming when you lose so many important figures in such a short time. It’s like losing parts of your foundation—my grandparents raised me, and now they’re all gone. There’s this primal love I had, and knowing I won’t experience that again is incredibly heavy.
Editor: It sounds like your relationship with John is still a source of support for you amid all this loss. How do you see your love with John now, in light of your other losses?
Kees Stevens: The love between us is different—it’s supportive and enduring, but that unconditional love I had from my grandparents is irreplaceable. It’s a different kind of love, and I know I have to find a way to lean on John, but the feeling of having no one there to go through “fire” for you is tough. I feel a bit lost at times.
Editor: Your reflections are powerful and resonate with many who have experienced loss. John has shared some heartfelt messages on social media about his father. How do you feel about expressing grief publicly in this way?
Kees Stevens: Writing and sharing online can feel cathartic. John’s post about his father was beautiful; it keeps the memory alive. It’s somewhat like talking to a massive audience, but it can also feel isolating in a way because while you’re sharing, you’re surrounded by people who may not fully understand what you’re going through.
Editor: That’s a valuable perspective. It’s so challenging to navigate grief while feeling the weight of expectations around how to express it. Lastly, what message would you like others to take away from your experience?
Kees Stevens: I think it’s important to remember that grief is unique to everyone. There’s no right way to mourn, and you don’t have to pretend everything’s okay. It’s alright to laugh, cry, and share—it’s all part of the process. And remember, love remains, even when those we cherish are gone.
Editor: Thank you, Kees. Your honesty and vulnerability are appreciated, and I’m sure many will find comfort in your words. Take care of yourself, and we send our thoughts during this difficult time.
Kees Stevens: Thank you for having me. It’s been good to talk about it.