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On Monday, Jimmy Fallon used the annual tradition of the President pardoning a turkey as a metaphor for the current state of politics, particularly for Democrats who are still reeling from the recent election results.
“President Biden recently pardoned two turkeys from Minnesota, Peach and Blossom, which Fallon joked sounded more like the guest list at a bachelor party than actual turkey names,” Fallon explained. “He quipped that the turkeys’ names seemed more fitting for a raunchy gathering, saying ‘Hey guys, the doorbell is ringing, I guess. Hey, Peach and Blossom, come on in here!’}
Fallon went on to say that Thanksgiving is still three days away, but the turkeys looked at Biden and said, “We better get this done,” implying that even the turkeys knew the gravity of the situation. “Biden promised that the turkeys would not get killed this November, which Democrats couldn’t help but take as a jab at their own situation, with Fallon joking that they responded with, ‘Hey, that’s what you said to us’.
Fallon added that he hopes everyone enjoyed the pardoning ceremony, because next year under Trump, those turkeys will likely be replaced by more… unsavory characters. “I mean, let’s be real, next year’s pardoned turkeys will probably be Matt Gaetz and Rudy Giuliani,” Fallon joked, eliciting laughter from the audience.
Earlier in the monologue, Fallon discussed the chaos that is likely to ensue during this year’s Thanksgiving travel season, with over 70 million people expected to take to the roads and skies. “Waze will suggest a route that’s two minutes faster, but let’s be real, that’s not going to make a huge difference when you’re stuck in a nine-hour traffic jam,” Fallon quipped. “And with two huge storms brewing across the country, it’s likely to be a travel nightmare. If the storms knock out the Wi-Fi or TV on Thanksgiving, God help us all.”
Fallon offered viewers some tongue-in-cheek travel tips to make the experience more bearable, including packing lightly, checking in online to save time at the airport, and using Uber Pool to practice spending time with people you barely know and don’t like. “Get to the airport three hours early, so you’re well-prepared for your six-hour delay,” he joked. “Turn to your spouse in the TSA line and say, ‘Can’t we just tell your parents we got sick?’ Pay a flight attendant $20 to kick you off the flight and ban you from flying. Get into a brawl on Black Friday so you can enjoy one night of good sleep at a local jail. Accept your fate and remember, Christmas is only three weeks away.”
