Is the person I love right for me? The famous Finnish love doctor analyzed the six major indicators of good love from the perspective of brain science. How many of your intimacy match?
Why do we fall in love with the wrong person?
As mentioned earlier, research shows that smell plays a pivotal role in attracting and choosing a mate.
Through the exchange of pheromones, we can learn regarding each other’s immune defense system, health, hormonal status and other information, but smell cannot tell us a person’s personality, values, and whether the other person has the ability to take care of the family.
Appearance and smell are great for finding a genetic match, kissing and sex. A strong physical fit can also lead you to couple intimacy with another person, but smell and physical attraction can also make you feel attracted to someone. A wrong object can’t stop.
Falling in love and flirting in the early stages of a relationship can send your hormones surging, but because of the hormones, you can’t see the red flags, and you just feel like your partner seems perfect from head to toe, even if friends and relatives try to warn you that they may have The problem is, you still blindly believe that the other person is your soulmate.
The easiest way to avoid falling in love with the wrong person is to not be too impatient, to slow down as much as possible to get to know the other person, and then have a relationship with the other person.
I’m a big believer in the old-fashioned pursuit culture, and I think it deserves a revival.
Talking openly, engaging in activities together, and taking time to get to know someone slowly, rather than being driven by hormones, I believe that by doing this, it is possible to find a truly suitable partner, and to avoid the surprise and confusion following the fever gradually subsides during the love period. disappointment.
But then once more, a one-night stand can sometimes lead to winning the jackpot.
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Our Stomach and True Love
Why do I occasionally feel gastrointestinal discomfort when I think of the person I love? Should I be worried if I don’t have a tumbling stomach on a date? Will our stomach know who is “true love”?
During my work in Gastrointestinal Surgery, I was particularly interested in the functioning of the human gut and how the gut microbiome affects health.
The intestine is the largest sensory organ in the human body, and the microorganisms on the surface of the intestine account for 90% of the human organ cells. These 100 trillion tiny microbes are very important to us. The gut microbiome mainly communicates with our brain through conductive substances and nerves, which is the so-called vagus nerve.
This gut cell makes 95% of serotonin and 50% of dopamine in our bodies, and although these two hormones don’t reach the brain directly, large studies point to gut balance that appears to affect our mood, which is It is very easy to affect the relationship.
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What are the factors that determine which bacteria are most comfortable in our guts?
Genetics, birth status, and what we eat during the first few months of life all affect our guts, as well as current nutrition and the microbes we’re exposed to, and how long we let our guts rest.
Every time you take antibiotics, many bacteria in the body will be killed, and then the balance of the flora will be slowly established, and the intake of nutrients, probiotics, and the usual lifestyle will also affect the balance of the flora.
Stress also directly affects our stomachs. When the human system goes into “fight or flight” mode, the stomach has no time to digest.
Since the brain and muscles need all the heat in the body, they borrow heat from the intestines. Stress also appears to have an effect on the gut flora, and certain types of bacteria are more likely to survive in stressful environments, a change in the body that may keep us from getting out of our moods long following chronic stress is over.
Animal experiments have also shown that changes in the intestinal flora will also change the animal’s personality. Implantation of intestinal flora can make mice who were shy and insecure become bold and curious. Although there is no similar human experiment, I dare say that you have noticed that following recovering from stomach disease, you occasionally have a It will feel sluggish for a while.
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The most developed part of the brain, the cerebral cortex, is the ultimate determinant, allowing us to respond to different situations.
Nerve cells in the gut only respond according to the situation, and when you meet someone whose brain has been forgotten for years, you may experience a tingling sensation in the abdomen. Although this does not guarantee that the other person is your “true love”, your stomach seems to think this relationship is worth trying.
Stomach tumbling on a first date suggests excitement, which is normal in this situation, but if your date makes you feel secure, comfortable, and your bowels are functioning properly from the start, it means you are actually Not having the feeling of a churning stomach should not be a concern.
When your love hormones hit, your stomach often doesn’t work as well for a while, and you’re likely to lose your appetite as a result.
Love is an emotion that can be felt in the stomach. When you first fall in love, you may not notice your weight loss; but when the relationship between the two develops to a comfortable and comfortable state, the two stay at home quietly eating pizza, candy and movies. It has also become normal, and the weight will slowly come back.
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6 foundations of a good relationship
Love is often illogical, but it’s worth thinking regarding: What do you want from a relationship? In this way, the love map can be fine-tuned to a better state.
Research shows that the following elements are good foundations for a relationship:
1. Match personalities and sense of humor
Laughter is the best medicine. Laughing when you’re stressed can help you relax, which is good for all relationships.
2. Similar values and attitudes towards life
Although opposite traits can complement each other, it is difficult for the optimists and pessimists of the North and South poles to advance and retreat at the same time.
3. Same interests and hobbies
If the interests and hobbies are different, it will be difficult for two people to find common topics or activities together. But it’s also important to remember that when you’re doing a hobby or activity together, your interaction is more important than the hobby itself.
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4. Love of equal shades
If one of them loves to stick together, but the other needs his own space, the relationship is more likely to be unstable.
5. The concept of work and leisure time is close
It can be a big challenge for both men and women if a man expects to marry a family-friendly wife, but the wife starts her own business.
6. Similar sexual drives
A good sex life is one of the most important elements of a long-term relationship. If two people have different interests and ideas regarding sex, a relationship crisis may emerge. Besides, if sex is good, we are more likely to turn a blind eye to other problems.
The most important thing in a relationship is the expectations of two people. If the expectations are unrealistic, they will continue to be disappointed.
No matter how careful you are when choosing the perfect partner, don’t forget that difficulties will inevitably arise in a relationship. If you look for long-term stimulation, you will be disappointed, but if your expectations are in line with reality, the progress of the two will be much smoother.
The brain’s love map changes throughout life
Our brain’s love map changes throughout our lives.
When we are young, we tend to follow our intuition and let pheromones dominate us, making it easy to fall in love with someone. This is because when we are young, we do not have the pressure of starting a family, so we do not waste time doing unnecessary analysis, and we do not have the burden of previous relationships, and we have not yet broken hearts.
This means that under normal circumstances, we do not hesitate and do not analyze too much, and just follow our intuition.
But when we approach our 30s, the situation will be different, and we will start to think regarding what kind of people we should start a family with.
Because of the turbulent age, many college-era romances either move to the next stage or end in a breakup.
When looking for a life partner, women tend to pay attention to a man’s stability following becoming a wife and father, as well as how the man looks when he gets along with his relatives and friends.
The relationship may accelerate at this stage due to the marriageable age. Typically, women give birth to their first child at this age.
When faced with a life crisis, such as just ending a long-term relationship, you may find yourself stepping into a “healing” relationship, perhaps finding someone who is the exact opposite of your ex, or a trustworthy and caring haven where you can Repair broken hearts.
However, the way a personal crisis is handled can be thought-provoking, and it doesn’t take long for you to discover that you didn’t choose the right person from the right.
Being single is good for most people. Although ending a relationship is difficult, it is still a very important step to think regarding and analyze past relationships.
If you’ve lost yourself in a previous relationship, you may be able to take this opportunity to rediscover yourself and remember what’s most important to you.
Once your inner peace is restored and your life returns to normal, you may find someone who truly suits you.