Is it true that love at first sight exists? – 2024-07-16 06:00:51

The Hebrew University of Jerusalem (HU), Israel, and a study published in the journal Scientific Reports In 2022, it suggests that the actual time for a romance to appear needs around 120 seconds… just two minutes.

In a speed-dating experiment involving forty-six heterosexual dates, they recorded natural patterns of certain sensations and movements when a man and a woman felt attraction to each other – actions that make it more likely that they will feel romantically and sexually attracted to each other, the scientists say.

For thirteen years, Guatemalan psychologist Mario Velásquez (IG: @blaho.psique) has seen couples and young adults in his office. He says that relationships and love regularly start with sight, “almost everyone says whether they like someone or not, this causes the generation of dopamine and serotonin, the two neurotransmitters (chemical messengers that transmit information between neurons) that generate pleasure and make them want to get to know each other.”

Although it is a romantic detail to start a relationship with this feeling, not all relationships that go through this moment last, since with time and getting to know each other, love arises, or on the contrary, they realize that they are not so compatible, explains Velásquez.

It is also important to note that not all relationships begin with this primary crush, and that is not a sign of the success or failure of a potential relationship.

How long does falling in love last?

Daniel Z. Lieberman, professor at George Washington University in the United States and author of a book on dopamine, or “the molecule that determines every aspect of human behavior” tells EFE that this “love potion” fosters passionate love at the beginning of a relationship and then causes the passion to fade away.

Falling in love lasts a few months, says Velásquez, and during that time the couple goes through a time of experiences that unite them, they are happy and some even gain a little weight during that stage.

When love stops being something new and becomes something familiar, the “dopaminergic excitement” of passionate romance based on anticipation of what will happen in the future disappears. At that point, the choice is between moving on to a lasting “companionate love” or ending the relationship, says Lieberman.

What makes a successful relationship?

Experts agree that whether or not a couple has a striking beginning of attraction will define their path. It is important to cultivate the love that will emerge from different experiences.

“When there are conflicts, relationships do have the opportunity to take a new direction or become active once more when the couple is willing and has the will to save the relationship,” says the psychologist Yosahandi Alcalá.

The big challenge is not to fall into monotony, adds Velásquez, and invites couples to build their relationships by having frequent dates, activities together and experiences that take longer, such as a trip of several days.

Experts also give other additional tips to keep the flame of love alive:

1. Talking and communicating
   This point is fundamental for living as a couple. Talk as a couple, express your opinions, your desires, your problems. It is important to talk regarding everything without fear, without fear of being judged or criticized or where opinions are undervalued. Communication is not only regarding talking but also regarding listening and recognizing the other side of the story.
2. Quality time
   A two-hour date will be a relief for you. This would be the minimum to establish, but in this meeting have the rule of only talking regarding yourselves, being alone, avoiding work topics or other problems. Dedicate yourselves to building your relationship. The task is to get to know each other once more and connect. Read and learn regarding how men and women think to communicate better with your partner.
3. Laugh, infallible
   Be creative to have fun and spend moments where both of you laugh and are complicit.
4. Be tolerant and trust each other
   Tolerance is coming to understand that both are free in the couple. It should not be confused with libertinism but with the right that each has to his own independence. Each member of the couple has the right to his own privacy, to develop his plans, friends, his own social life, to have his own hobbies and it is important that both respect not restricting the freedom of the other. To do this, it is sometimes necessary to reach agreements on these points.
5. When problems appear
   If you feel that you are a little lost in how to revive your relationship, seek support from counselors, psychologists or sexologists to find solutions. Another tip is couples retreats and other dynamics that can help you maintain the union. The ideal is to find a way to resolve conflicts.
6. Let’s build experiences
   Find an activity that strengthens you. Have fun and enjoy learning something new together and investing in yourselves. You might also watch a movie or series that you enjoy together. For some couples, exercise sessions work, but both partners need to be on board. Games also help create that bonding environment.
7. The sexuality
   This is as important a part of a relationship as the others, but not the main one. It changes with age and it is possible to enjoy it with each age. The couple should not settle and should always seek to explore spaces to stay active.