- Firouzeh Akbarian and Sophia Petitza
- World Service – BBC News
3 hours ago
Maryam’s husband asked her to bring him a virginity certificate because she did not bleed following sex
In Iran, virginity before marriage is important to many girls and their families. Sometimes, men ask to prove their virginity – a practice that the World Health Organization considers a human rights violation. But over the past year, an increasing number of Iranians have started calling for it to be abolished.
“You tricked me into marrying you because you are not a virgin. No one would marry you if they knew the truth.”
This is what Maryam’s husband said when they had sex for the first time.
She assured him that although she was not bleeding, she had never had sex before. But despite her assurances, the husband did not believe her, and asked her to produce a certificate to prove her virginity.
It is not rare in Iran. After the engagement, many women go to a female doctor for a test to prove that they have never had sex.
Maryam’s testimony states that her hymen is “elastic”, which means she may not bleed following sex.
“My dignity was hurt,” says Maryam. “I didn’t do anything wrong, yet my husband insulted me…I mightn’t stand it anymore, so I took some pills and tried to commit suicide.”
Fortunately, Mariam was taken to the hospital in time and she was saved.
Growing calls to end the practice
Maryam’s story reflects the reality that many women live in Iran. Virginity before marriage is still vital for many girls and their families as well. It is a value rooted in the culture of conservative Iranian society.
But the recent period has witnessed some harbingers of change. Women and men from across the country are campaigning for an end to virginity testing.
Last November, 25,000 people signed an online petition within one month demanding its end. This was the first time that a large number of people openly challenged virginity tests in Iran.
“It’s an invasion of privacy, and it’s insulting,” says Neda. Weda is a woman from Tehran who lost her virginity when she had sex with her boyfriend when she was a 17-year-old student.
She adds, “I was terrified. I was afraid of what might happen if my family found out.”
photo released, Manual Bonomi
Women are forced to pay a heavy price due to the pressures of conservative society
So, Neda decided to have her hymen repaired.
In practice, this operation is not once morest the law – but it has serious social consequences, so hospitals do not agree to perform it.
But Neda found a private clinic who agreed to perform the operation in secret – for a huge sum.
“I spent all my savings, and sold my laptop, mobile phone and my gold,” says Nidaa.
Neda also had to sign a document bearing full responsibility in case of any complications.
Then a midwife performed the operation, which took regarding 40 minutes.
But Neda’s recovery took several weeks.
“I was in so much pain,” she says. “I mightn’t move my legs.”
Nida hid it from her parents.
“I felt so lonely. But I guess my fear that they would find out helped me withstand the pain.”
In the end, however, the suffering that Nida had endured went unheeded.
A year later, she met someone who wanted to marry her. But when they had sex, she didn’t bleed. The operation has failed.
“He accused me of trying to trick him into marrying me,” says Neda. “He said I was a liar, and he left me.”
pressure from the family
Although the World Health Organization condemns virginity tests as unethical and lacking scientific value, the practice is still performed in several countries, including Indonesia, Iraq and Turkey.
The Iranian Medical Organization maintains that it only performs these tests in special cases – such as lawsuits or allegations of rape.
However, the majority of requests for virginity certificates still come from men and women who are planning to marry. Therefore, they resort to private clinics, usually accompanied by their mothers.
These tests are conducted by a gynecologist or midwife, who then issues the certificate. This certificate contains the woman’s full name, her father’s name, her ID number, and sometimes a personal photo. The testimony describes the condition of the hymen, and states, “This girl appears to be a virgin.”
photo released, Manual Bonomi
The majority of requests for virginity certificates still come from men and women who are planning to marry
In more conservative families, the document is signed by two witnesses – usually the mother of the fiancé and the fiancée.
Dr. Fariba has been issuing these certificates for years. She admits that it is a humiliating practice, but believes that it actually helps many women.
These women, says Fariba, “are under great pressure from their families. Sometimes, I have to lie verbally for the sake of the betrothed. If they had sex together and wanted to marry, I would say in front of their families that the girl was a virgin.”
For many men, however, marrying a virgin is essential.
“If a girl loses her virginity before marriage, she cannot be trusted. She may leave her husband for another man,” says Ali, a 34-year-old electrician from Shiraz.
He adds that he had sex with 10 girls: “I mightn’t resist.”
Ali acknowledges that there is a double standard in Iranian society, but he sees no reason to abandon tradition.
“Social norms accept that men enjoy more freedom than women,” he continues.
Ali’s viewpoint is shared by many, especially in the conservative rural areas of Iran.
Despite growing protests once morest virginity tests, given that the idea is deeply ingrained in Iranian culture, many believe the government and legislature is unlikely to impose a blanket ban on it anytime soon.
Hope for the future
After four years of attempting suicide and living with an abusive husband, Maryam was finally able to obtain a court order for divorce a few weeks ago.
“It will be very difficult to trust a man once more,” Maryam says. “I don’t think I will get married in the near future.”
Along with tens of thousands of other women, Maryam also signed one of a growing number of petitions circulating online to end the issuance of virginity certificates.
Although she doesn’t expect anything to change anytime soon, perhaps not in her lifetime, she believes that one day women will have more equality with men in her country.
“I’m sure it will happen one day. I hope that no girl in the future will go through what I’ve been through.”
All the names of the people we spoke to have been changed in order to protect their identity.
