Inge (47) had yet to hear how proud her husband was of her – Omroep Brabant

Sure! Let’s give this a jaunt through the mind of our comedic ensemble: a sharp, observant blend of sarcasm, truth, and warm humor, all the while respecting the sensitivity of the topic.

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Love, Loss, and That Empty Chair: A Tribute You Didn’t Ask For

Ah, relationships! They often begin with a romantic crescendo, a candlelit dinner, and a few sly glances across the table. You’re on cloud nine—until, of course, the inevitable happens: you discover your partner’s alarming addiction to saving the last bite of pizza. Seriously, Inge! Do we need to have a conversation about sharing? But as our friend Arie Smetsers knows all too well, it’s those little quirks that make love a chaotic masterpiece.

So, Inge did all the little things: the kiss with morning breath that you’re secretly grateful for because at least you know she’s human. The descaling of the shower—a task so tragically overlooked, yet life-changing. Who knew you could fall for someone so deeply after they so skillfully extract yesterday’s grime from your personal hygiene station? But, alas, sometimes it’s only when the spicy presence of your partner disappears that the bittersweet taste of nostalgia kicks in like an overzealous espresso.

Arie, our brave scribe of evocation, bared his heart for two decades of love turned heartbreak. “I would have liked to say how important she was and how much I love her,” he laments. If that’s not the understatement of the century, I don’t know what is! Arie, mate, your empty chair at dinner might as well be a stand-up routine gone wrong since it echoes everything a dad doesn’t want to hear—the absence resounding louder than a Dave Chappelle special. What’s that they say? Silence is golden, but in this case, it’s just plain cruel.

Inge, with her calming presence, was clearly the yin to Arie’s yang—a “bit more intense” version of a human hurricane. Yes, we’ve all been there—trying to hold the family matriarchy together like a lousy game of Jenga, only for the moment of truth to come crashing down. With two kids, Jasper and Lieke, life must have been a blend of sweet chaos and the delightful sitcom moments you wouldn’t trade for anything. But alas, fate decided that we humans are better at tragedy than at comedy. Poor Arie, waving goodbye to his wife one moment and ten minutes later, needing to summon the strength of Hercules to face a reality that should have been a footnote in a dreadful novel.

“It was always safe and nice to come home to her.”

That line just hits you straight in the feels, doesn’t it? Arie, you’ve handed out more emotional truths than a reality TV show on a dinner table spat. “It was always safe and nice to come home to her.” There you have it—safety and comfort, so easily taken for granted, until they become the stuff of painful reminiscence. Who knew a quiet home could feel so loud?

But let’s shove our kleenex aside for a second because amidst the sadness stirs a tale of resilience.

Every parent knows that parenting often resembles a circus act. You juggle responsibilities, keep the lions at bay (a.k.a. the kids), while managing possibility and sacrifice. Arie finds himself navigating the tightrope of single parenthood, attempting to play both roles—father and mother—as if he’s auditioning for a heartfelt movie role that he didn’t sign up for. “Not enough hours in a day,” he thoughtfully mutters, perhaps contemplating a DeLorean-style time-travel solution. Back to the future? More like back to the parenting present!

“I hope that from now on my children and I can grow together towards the positive.”

Let’s give Arie a round of applause! Navigating pain with a sprinkle of hope and determination—he is indeed “that dad.” Pride swells in him as he talks about his kids overcoming life’s curveballs, saying, “I think that’s so clever of them.” What’s cleverer, Arie? Raising kids while keeping the maternal spirit alive? Or teaching them that it’s okay to cry but to also tackle life with a grin? Honestly, it sounds like parenting and stand-up comedy are two sides of the same coin. Minus the punchlines derived from awkward date stories.

Inge may not be around, but her spirit is palpable, sprinkled around the family like well-meaning confetti at a party gone slightly sideways. Because that’s the truth of love—it doesn’t just vanish. It lingers—sometimes hauntingly, sometimes beautifully. Arie is resolute in remembering the good while ensuring his kids know they’ve got a gem of a mom looking down, undoubtedly applauding their resilience.

In closing—let’s not forget the silent truths behind love and loss. If you’ve got a loved one who’s an eternal echo in your heart, give them a shout-out. After all, we honor their spirit not just with tears, but with laughter, fond memories, and the constant realization that life rolls on, often with a cheeky grin amidst the tears. Here’s to Inge—the woman who’d make even morning breath feel like a fairy tale!

Forever in our hearts… and perhaps, quite literally, in our hearts.

And if you want to share your delightful yet tragic love story, reach out to [email protected]. Because let’s face it—sharing is caring, even when it’s heartbreakingly funny! At least that way, we can all commiserate in the delightful absurdity of life.

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If there is one thing to remember, it’s that laughter often walks hand-in-hand with sorrow, and it’s a jolly good reminder of why we love and lose so passionately. There’s no better tribute than embracing life’s beautiful mess. Cheers to that!

Only when you have to miss someone do you feel how nice the little things someone always did were. The kiss with the morning breath, her descaling the shower, taking the bread out of the freezer, tickling your back and picking you up if the taxi didn’t show up. Things that are sometimes taken for granted, until they disappear. Inge Smetsers from Oirschot did all those things, was very calm and was a very sweet mother. And God, what a great loss afterwards.

“I would have liked to say how important she was and how much I love her,” says Arie Smetsers (52) from Oirschot. This year he would have been married to his Inge for 21 years, who passed away two years ago. He can manage to talk about it. “But some things are difficult. That empty chair at dinner, I really hate that.”

She was calm, he was “a bit more intense”. “We complemented each other perfectly, also as parents.” Together they had two children, Jasper and Lieke, who are now 17 and 14. And for Inge, everything revolved around her family. A born mother. She first worked as a laboratory technician, but had hung up her lab coat until the offspring were a bit older. So there was always someone at home for the children. Inge was home.

But before Jasper and Lieke even got close to that age, Inge fell away. Arie had set the alarm early, as befits a hard worker with a tiling company. “I got up and Inge waved at me, as she did every morning when my alarm went off. But when I was standing in the kitchen to make my bread, I suddenly heard a kind of cry for help. When I went to look in the bedroom , she lay there with her eyes turned away.”

He called 911 and Inge rushed to the hospital. And while the doctors were initially optimistic about a possible operation, for Arie it already felt like something was wrong. He had a certain gut feeling. That, unfortunately, turned out to be true. A few hours later he had to call his children and parents-in-law to say goodbye. Inge had had a cerebral hemorrhage in her brain stem.

“It was always safe and nice to come home to her.”

Within ten minutes Arie had lost his Inge. One moment she was waving him goodbye from under the covers, ten minutes later she was gone. “I would have loved to say how much I love her. It was always safe and nice to come home to her. She radiated so much peace. She waited in the evening until everyone was nice and cozy in their bed, because otherwise she couldn’t calm down herself. sleep. I really wanted to tell her how nice that was. And that she can be very proud of herself.”

Inge was only 47 years old. “And of course I find that very sad and I miss her every day,” says Arie. “But I think it’s worst for my children. It’s a loss for them. And that still gnaws at me every day.”

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Inge and Arie on holiday (Photo: private).

Aries words go straight to the bone. He says that he still has tears in his eyes every day, because he thinks it’s terrible for his daughter and son. That he tried to be father and mother at the same time, but found himself in the process. That sometimes there are not enough hours in a day to keep the whole house of cards upright. That he started reading up to help his 14-year-old daughter Lieke with everything that changes in the life of an adolescent girl. That he tries to talk to his children, comfort them and take away their sadness. Above all, you hear a man who tries very hard to take care of his children and to ensure that there is food on the table every evening, even if that fourth chair remains empty.

“I hope that from now on my children and I can grow together towards the positive.”

It’s tough. Being a single parent is tough. Being a child without a mother is hard. But the pride with which Arie talks about his children almost makes the sun break through a dark cloud cover. He repeats four times how important he finds it to say how proud he is of them. That Jasper obtained his diploma, even though Arie could not help with homework at the kitchen table every evening, like Inge did. Proud of Lieke, who remains standing as a 14-year-old teenager after all the setbacks. How they hold him up again and how the three of them fight through it. “I think that’s so clever of them and I think Inge would be so proud of them.”

“Inge did not like to be in the foreground, but it has now been two years since we have had to miss her. I thought that was a nice moment to take a moment to reflect on it and pay her a tribute. If you no longer have someone around you you only feel what you are missing. And I hope that from now on my children and I can grow together towards the positive.”

Forever in our hearts

Do you want to pay tribute to a loved one and share your memories? Do you perhaps have a story that can touch, comfort or inspire others? Then send an email to [email protected] and tell us about the person you will forever carry in your heart.