2023-07-09 17:00:00
We knew that the health crisis had exploded the malaise among young people, but the data was lacking for children. On June 20, a first national study reveals that 13% of 6-11 year olds have at least one probable mental health problem. 5.6% of children in this age group have a probable emotional disorder, 6.6% a probable oppositional disorder (defiant behavior, defying authority) and 3.2% an attention deficit disorder with or without hyperactivity (ADHD) probable. Riviera parents testify.
Stephanie, mother of Stan, 9 years old
“We have a teenager in the body of a little boy”
“He’s a real nice guy… with too much energy and emotions. I would like so much to help him, to know how to react.” When she talks about her little boy, Stéphanie, an employee of the veterinary sector, sweats with love and good intentions. For several years, her son, Stan, now 9 years old, has been struggling. “I have the impression that it ticks all the boxes of the disorders evoked in the study of which you speak”, she confides from the start. “Our child is constantly in opposition, with us but also with anyone who could restrict his freedom. I had a very good bond with him when he was little. Now I feel like I’m always on his back, to shout, to repeat, to punish. We have a teenager in the body of a little boy”explains Stephanie.
“He became aware of death at 4 years old. He is incredibly emotional”
As highlighted in the recent study on the mental health of 6-11 year olds, this mother of two children (including a younger one) clearly identified the impact of the Covid-19 pandemic on her eldest, already very emotional before and endowed with thoughts more mature than his age. “He became aware of death at 4 years old. He is incredibly emotional. He was very young when one day, at the park, he asked me to go up with him in a structure. I answer him that it is impossible to because of my size. In the car, he started to cry and said to me: it sucks being an adult, you can’t have fun anymore.“
“Stay in line, respect all these health protocols, he couldn’t do it”
During the 1st confinement, Stan, ahead in learning, learned to read on his own. On his return to school, the heaviness of the rules weighs on him. “He is very active. Staying in line, respecting all these health protocols, waiting 1:30 a.m. for a hand wash when all the classes have to pass, he couldn’t do it. And then there were no more birthdays with friends, less levity…”
Fifteen days after his return to CP, he skips a class following an alert from the teacher, the school psychologist then diagnoses him High intellectual potential. “People kept asking me: did you have it tested? But quantifying his IQ, we do not see what it could bring him. What we are looking for is behavioral support. I spoke to my doctor about it, who told us that it was going to be difficult to find a practitioner in the area”recounts Stephanie.
“As parents, we feel alone in the face of this situation”
If she chose to testify, it is above all to share the feeling of “feeling alone as parents in the face of this situation”. “In the school system, listening and understanding depend on the interlocutor. Last year, his mistress spent her time giving him lines as a punishment”, deplores Stéphanie, who would have liked the school psychologist “check in on Stan, reply to my email when I asked him for advice on who to consult”. At the start of the next school year, the boy’s parents will allow themselves 15 days to take steps on their side.
Vanessa, maman d’Angelo, 9 ans
“I want my son to be well, that we don’t condemn him automatically”
Angelo is in first grade when the school warns his mother about attention problems. “He had to be channeled within the class, using elastic at the bottom of his legs to allow him to make movements while preventing him from getting up…”says Vanessa, who raises her alone and encounters difficulties with her 23-year-old eldest, concerned by acts of delinquency. “I was terribly afraid that Angelo would fall into mimicry. During confinement, he was a spectator of his brother’s violent behavior, we were told that his attention disorder came from this intra-family climate”, she adds. On a daily basis, this Var mother struggles to help her son.
“The timeframes for taking care of are not those of the needs of the child”
Neuropsychologist, neurologist, psychologist… In recent years, the life of the little boy has been punctuated by consultations. To understand and help Angelo. “He repeated his CE1, he gets discouraged quickly, without necessarily disrupting the class but, for him, it’s hard”, says Vanessa. Last October, the school psychologist clearly identified the need for Angelo to benefit from an accompanying person for students with disabilities (AESH). But his year of CE2 takes place nevertheless without this precious help.
“It’s such a long process, the timeframes for care are not those of the child’s needs, laments Vanessa. His file must first go to the MDPH commission and the waiting period is 6 months. In fact, there is a shortage of AESH at the national level, Angelo will probably not have any before November and the support may be limited in time.
“As a parent, if you let go, it doesn’t work”
Since the first assessments passed by the little boy, his mother has won a first diagnosis. “They revealed a severe attention disorder. My son has been on medication since February 10, to channel him. He is much calmer, he cries less”she explains, sometimes exhausted by the magnitude of the task. “For parents, the course is very difficult. If we let go, it does not work. Angelo has finally started therapy in a medical-psychological center for children. I found a speech therapist, he had his first appointment. you on June 30. The alert was given when he was 6 years old, he is 9. It’s a lot of energy”explains the one who fights above all for the future of her child. “At school, I am already told that if nothing is done, he will go to SEGPA. My hope is that he will be well, that he will not be condemned automatically.”
Marie, mother of Pablo*, 9 years old (names have been changed)
“The school system does not have the means to support different children”
From daycare, Marie noticed that her little boy, now 9 years old, was having difficulties. “It was complicated, he was often rejected, more interested in the adult world, passionate about padlocks and doors rather than Playmobil or Lego…”explains this Varoise, a single mother. “One day, I was summoned by the director. He was playing alone in the toilet area when everyone was making the rounds. I immediately had the feeling that it was still my fault…”
It was at the time of Pablo’s CP year that things accelerated, under the effect of the Covid and its consequences. “During the 1st confinement, we found ourselves on our own with tons of homework, in an apartment, on the 2nd floor. We couldn’t do it anymore. To get our heads out of all this, I created with him a Facebook page supporting caregivers. Pablo took the situation very seriously, when he was only 6 years old. He anticipated the president’s announcements”recalls Marie, also very anxious during the pandemic to fall ill and leave her child an orphan.
“He thinks all the time, especially on the news, he has trouble falling asleep…”
Under pressure from injunctions from the school, where Pablo’s behavior is the subject of very frequent remarks, Marie finds support in a private establishment where her son has been evolving since his return to CE1. The mother struggles in the medical world to put words to the ailments of her boy, too often rejected by his comrades because of his difference. “He thinks all the time, especially on the news, he has trouble falling asleep…” Occupational psychomotor therapist, speech therapist, doctor specializing in school disorders, ophthalmologist, neuropsychologist… The diagnosis is made: attention disorder with dyspraxia, a disturbance in the ability to perform certain gestures and activities.
“We don’t have the right to be different on this Earth?”
And after? “I fight for him to be accompanied. He is a little boy who tends to let go because of his difficulties; He is not able, for example, to listen and write at the same time We are waiting for a computer so that with the help of an occupational therapist he will learn to type quickly, but only the MDPH who can provide us with financial support, and it is slow…”
Mary’s fight is also that of respect for her son in integrity. “One year, a mistress told me: listen, with me, the children fit into boxes, something will have to be done. Yes, my son is in the moon, he does not listen, he is not sitting well but when she told me that, I said to myself: so, we are not entitled to difference on Earth? I have the impression that the school system does not have the means, I do not put the blame on the teachers despite what happened, it lacks training, time, educational support national”tempers Marie, who invests 1400€ per year in consultations dedicated to Pablo.
If she testifies, it is to let out a cry: “When are we going to see the end of the tunnel, that we will really be able to help him? In our country, so many children are left out!”
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