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Prevention as the basis of everything
In recent years, Radek Ptáček launched the largest research project Lifestyle and mental health of young adults, where he examined adolescents aged 18-25. This resulted in the fact that the vast majority of them do not engage in sports activity and a healthy lifestyle. He was a great athlete himself, and the results of the research greatly disturbed him, as he insisted that sports in particular had a huge merit in a person’s psychological well-being. “We keep hearing about how the number of people with mental health problems is increasing and we wonder if we have the psychiatric capacity to deal with it. But almost no one is concerned with what we can do to prevent that number from increasing,” he thought in an interview with Čestmír Strakatý.
Twelve for each parent
Radek Ptáček was often invited to various programs or journalists approached him with a request for a statement. He was famous for his opposition to corporal punishment of children and was an advocate of important changes in the field of human rights and protection. Parents often took his advice to heart. What topics did the father of three touch most often and what did he appeal to?
- There is no traditional family. “Who decreed that a child must be raised by a father and a mother? We know from research that emotional stability is the most important thing for a child. Regardless of whether he has two or three fathers and four mothers.’
- Disputes are the worst. “The worst thing for a child is when parents argue. When they break up as friends and then a family grows for each of them, it’s a natural social evolution. More than 50% of relationships break up these days. It’s just a matter of how the parents can handle it.”
- Good relationships are most important for children. A big topic is the increasingly popular alternating care. “It doesn’t really matter if it’s exclusive or alternating custody after a divorce. Again, the basis is emotional stability and parents not arguing. Then the child doesn’t care. The problem arises when they cannot come to an agreement, because the child develops a deeper relationship with the one with whom he is more often.”
Photo: CTK
The father of three practiced everything he said at home. He celebrated the first five at school with each of the children Photo: ČTK
- Patterns of behavior. “Parents pass on to us both genes that represent certain dispositions and behavioral patterns that we observe from them as children throughout our childhood. The combination of these deposits then decides how we will react to different situations in life. Maybe even for partner relationships.”
- Read to children. “It has been proven that if you read to children regularly from early childhood, they have a lower risk of neurodegenerative diseases in the future. Tales from a tape recorder don’t work.’
- Do not label. “I find more and more that people tend to say that a child who is more lively or a little troubled has ADHD, or a sad person has depression. It’s unnecessary messing around with serious diagnoses. It is similar to telling a child who is behaving abnormally that he is diabetic.”
- The right approach to motivation. “Motivation is not associated with achieving an activity, but with achieving it. If you sit down with your child to learn, you are unpleasant to him or raise your voice at him, and at the end you tell him that he is clever and give him a candy, it is wrong. Next time, the child will mainly remember how unpleasant it was before receiving the reward.”
- Do not respond to signs. “The grade is always a combination of what the child is like – the parents know him, how he was prepared – the parent is responsible for that and what the teacher is like. When I know as a parent that grade is a combination of so many factors, most of which I have to know about, it can’t surprise me. When I focus only on grades, I’m letting the child know that I don’t know anything about them and that I don’t care. Parents should make an effort, and appreciate it.”
- Watch out for moods. “The mental state of the child is largely influenced by the mental state of the parent. When they are unwell, so will their offspring. We have tremendous power to control a child’s feelings. Therefore, as parents, we should take care of ourselves. Children are our reflection. If we don’t like our children’s behavior, we should start with ourselves.”
- Time is of the essence. “Spend time with your children. Effectively and personally. Far better than driving a child around in various circles, securing prestigious schools and so on, is to experience a completely ordinary childhood with a parent who is cool. That’s the best foundation for life.”
- Corporal punishment is taboo. “I’ve often been asked as a forensic expert whether getting spanked once a day is worse than three times a week, and whether it’s worse with a hand or a belt. These are of course absurd questions, because any physical punishment is unacceptable. The body reacts to physical punishment as a form of threat, and any increased stress in education that is repeated leads to changes in our behavior and brain development. The child may be increasingly anxious and depressed throughout his life.”
- Guilt is not educational. “It is necessary for the child to know that things are worth something and that it is necessary to earn them. However, the fact that ‘it cost something’ should not be a means of punishment. For example, pretending that they destroyed an expensive thing or that they don’t want to go to a paid club. This is how parents influence children with guilt, and that’s not a good way of parenting.”
