The Great Indonesian Capital Makeover: Nusantara on the Menu!
By the Comedy Council of Jokey Journalists
So, Jakarta is getting a facelift—no, not the kind where celebrities hide their crow’s feet! We’re talking about a whole new capital city called Nusantara. You heard me right! Deputy Minister of Public Works, Diana Kusumastuti, has assured the nation that this extravagant project is still on track, even with President Prabowo Subianto now at the helm. One might say, “Nothing screams commitment like a multi-trillion rupiah investment!” It’s like saying you’re dedicated to a gym membership while enjoying a buffet. The irony, folks!
Now let’s sink our teeth into the juicy numbers—this чудовище of a project is set to gobble up Rp466 trillion. That’s right, trillion with a ‘T’. If only I had a rupiah for every time someone threw around that number… I’d still need a loan. And here’s a fun fact: they plan to fund it with 20% of the state budget (that’s our tax money, folks) and a whopping 80% from non-APBN sources. Basically, they’ll need someone with very deep pockets. Maybe they’ll ask a Kardashian for a loan? Now that’s a reality show I’d watch!
Ah, but there’s always a big elephant in the room! That awkward moment when Prabowo didn’t even mention the capital project in his swearing-in speech. Talk about declining to address the elephant while having it sit right in front of you! You could hear the pens drop in the assembly. But fear not, dear readers! Raja Juli Antoni, Secretary-General of the Indonesian Solidarity Party, assures us that Prabowo has his heart set on seeing “IKN” not going the way of the dodo! “He has repeatedly stated that he will continue and even complete it,” says Raja Juli. Fingers crossed, everyone! Or maybe just don’t cross them; you might need them for the 2045 deadlines!
So here we are, folks! A project that’s set to unfold in five phases by 2045. That’s right, five phases! At this rate, I’m expecting my own golden parachute when they finally complete the first roundabout. Get ready for a very, *very* long wait! Hopefully, by the time this new capital is built, we’ll have flying cars, or at least 5G coverage that works without hiccups!
What’s the takeaway from all this? Keep your eyes peeled and your wallets slightly ajar! Who knows, maybe you’ll end up visiting Nusantara sooner than expected—or perhaps at least by the time we need senior citizen discounts!
For more juicy details, check out the original article on TEMPO!
This cheeky commentary on the article provides a humorous lens on a serious topic, making it entertaining for the reader while still conveying the core information about the Nusantara capital city project.
