2024-01-15 05:00:00
Our first memories generally concern events that took place following our two years, rarely before. However, few of us consciously remember everything we experienced during our childhood. Unfortunately, this selective memory does not erase our traumas. One of the most common pains that we carry from our childhood is that of attachment. So we give you 5 signs which allow us to identify it in order to be able to free ourselves from it.
The trauma of attachment
Annie Tanasugarn, psychologist, explained for Psychology Today what attachment-related trauma might cause in an individual. For her, it manifests ” when the feelings of securitypredictability and trust of a child are damaged by abuse, neglect, or inconsistent or unpredictable care by their caregiver.” It also gives five infallible signs to identify this type of trauma in you or your loved ones.
Le magazines Psychologies reported these 5 typical behaviors of people facing an attachment disorder. The first is having a clear judgment at all times and on all subjects. The trauma experience pushes the person to have a radical opinion regarding others and their personalities. People are seen as black or white, good or bad, leaving no room for nuance. And therefore no room to discover the real personality of the people around him.
Avoidance and sabotage
A second characteristic sign is what specialists call avoidance behaviors. In order to avoid having to relive the situations that hurt them during childhood, the individual will seek to protect themselves from the trauma. He will therefore adopt behaviors that keep him away from negative emotions and seek out those that bring him a feeling of well-being. These compulsive behaviors can take the form of an eating disorder, drug or alcohol use.
For fear of becoming attached, and especially of suffering in the event of separation, the person suffering from trauma will consciously or unconsciously sabotage their relationships. “Like many people who have suffered a attachment trauma are not aware of their injuries, they function in survival mode”, explains Annie Tanasugarn. As a result, they may involuntarily evaluate the emotional involvement of those around them and then push them away in order to protect themselves and avoid being abandoned.
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Keep control
One of the typical behaviors of people suffering from attachment trauma is difficulty in deal with emotions. Individuals who suffered during their childhood have difficulty recognizing emotions, their own but also those of others. Which manifests itself as an inability to express affection and therefore ultimately have difficulty feeling emotional closeness with others.
No one knows what the future will hold, and developing a relationship with others involves opening up and confiding. This requires letting go and take risks. But for people who experienced childhood trauma, this represents too great a risk. “It may be that‘they control everything in their lives to have a sense of order or to push away feelings of anxiety or fears,” tell Annie Tanasugarn. “An overwhelming feeling of helplessness in childhood often manifests as excessive control in adulthood”.
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#Signs #Attachment #Trauma