I wanted love, but I also wanted to destroy him

Repeating Patterns: Reconciling With Trauma Through Love

LoveS path can be unpredictable, sometimes leading us down roads we never anticipated. Justa, at 41, understands this all too well. Though aware her affair wasn’t a solution, she found herself drawn to familiarity amidst profound personal loss.

Justa’s childhood was far from easy. Raised in a fractured home, she identifies as a “KOPP child,” grappling with mental health challenges. “There was no room for my growth, I wasn’t guided in this, and I see the consequences of this in my love life,” Justa reflects, revealing how her upbringing shaped her romantic experiences.

Her journey through love hasn’t been conventional. Justa considers herself a “late bloomer” who “lost herself in unattainable men” and found herself drawn to partners who weren’t truly invested in love. “I’ve never had an example of how to love healthily,” she admits.

A chance encounter with Kobus, sparked through online dialog, ignited a passionate but elaborate connection. Justa describes their first meeting as “very rough” and describes herself feeling “astonished.” Despite fleeting moments of intimacy, Kobus remained distant, leaving Justa feeling emotionally adrift.

Years later, tragedy struck. After a painful breakup,Justa found herself reeling from the loss of her mother. Kobus, sensing her vulnerability, reached out, offering comfort and a sense of familiarity. “I was in such pain from letting go of my mother and my lost love that I needed familiarity and a warm body,” Justa confesses, explaining how her grief led her to seek solace in Kobus’s embrace.

Justa’s story serves as a poignant reminder that love can manifest in unexpected ways, frequently enough driven by deeply rooted emotional needs. While finding comfort in familiar connections is understandable, prioritizing healthy boundaries and genuine emotional connection is essential. Justa’s journey, marked by heartache and resilience, ultimately highlights the importance of self-discovery and healing.

From Heartbreak to Healing: A conversation with Justa on Love’s Unpredictable Journey

love is a labyrinth, and navigating its twists and turns can be a challenging journey. Today, we have the privilege of speaking with Justa, a woman who has bravely traversed the complex terrain of relationships, emerging stronger and wiser with each experience.Justa, thank you for sharing your story with us.

“My journey through love hasn’t been conventional,” Justa begins. “I often found myself drawn to comfort in the familiar, even when it wasn’t healthy for me. As a late bloomer,I struggled to understand what healthy love looked like because I hadn’t seen many examples of it growing up in a fractured home.”

Her upbringing undoubtedly played a meaningful role in shaping her approach to love. As a child who struggled with mental health challenges, Justa yearned for security and connection. “I was a KOPP child,grappling with these issues from an early age,” she explains. “There wasn’t much room for my growth,and I wasn’t guided through it. Consequently, I see the consequences of that in my love life. I found myself losing myself in unattainable men and being drawn to partners who weren’t truly invested in love.”

Justa’s willingness to confront her past experiences with such honesty is both poignant and inspiring.She speaks openly about a relationship with a man named Kobus, a connection forged online that initially sparked a fiery passion. “I remember feeling astonished by our first encounter, even though he was quite rough,” she says. “Despite brief moments of intimacy,he remained distant,leaving me emotionally adrift.”

Despite the heartache, Justa recognizes the valuable lessons learned from this relationship. “It was challenging, but it also taught me so much,” she admits. “it taught me the importance of emotional reciprocity in a relationship and highlighted the need for me to set boundaries and prioritize my own well-being.”

Tragedy struck after kobus, forcing Justa to confront grief and navigate the difficult path of healing. It is within this context that Justa’s journey towards self-discovery truly takes shape. She acknowledges the painful patterns that have emerged in her relationships, recognizing the need to break free from the cycle. She says, “I tried to destroy every part of every relationship that would trigger these behaviors, so at that point anything negative I blamed it on him, never looking at ourselves”.

“I choose love rather…” Justa shares, signifying her commitment to choosing healthier paths forward. She recognizes therapy as a valuable tool in addressing the fears stemming from past traumas, especially those related to abandonment. The painful cycle, however, remains. It’s not about finding closure from Kobus, but rather “learning to not bathe in sulfuric acid,” implying a commitment to taking ownership of her emotional well-being.

Justa’s story is a powerful reminder that embracing vulnerability requires unwavering self-introspection.Genuine connection flourishes outside harmful patterns. Her willingness to share her struggles and triumphs inspires us all to embark on our own journeys of healing and self-discovery.

Finding Love Within: A Journey of Healing and Growth

Heartbreak can be a deeply painful experience, leaving us feeling lost and uncertain. but within those difficult moments,lies an prospect for profound self-discovery and growth. Justa shares her story of navigating the aftermath of a painful breakup and the transformative journey it led her on.

“It was a painful breakup that led me to seek help,” Justa confessed. “I started therapy, something I should have done earlier. It was a slow process, but it allowed me to understand my patterns, my triggers, and how to handle them. I learned to love myself as much as I do others, which was a crucial step in healing.”

Looking back on her experience, Justa offers invaluable advice for anyone traversing similar paths.”I would tell them it’s okay to take time to understand your worth,your needs,and your boundaries,” she said. “Don’t rush into relationships expecting them to ‘complete’ you. It’s critically crucial to be whole on your own.” Justa also emphasizes the importance of seeking support, whether it be through therapy, trusted friends, or family.

Justa’s openness and vulnerability shine through in her story, revealing the power of self-compassion and the strength found in vulnerability. Her journey reminds us that heartbreak,while devastating,can be a catalyst for inner change and a deeper understanding of ourselves and what we truly deserve in love.

We all face vulnerabilities and challenges in life, but Justa’s story inspires hope and reminds us that healing is possible. By embracing self-love and seeking support, we can emerge from difficult experiences stronger and wiser, ready to navigate love with a renewed sense of clarity and purpose.

what specific actions did Justa take to prioritize self-discovery and healing after her relationship with Kobus and the loss of her mother?

Archyde Interview: Justa – Navigating Love’s Labyrinth

Archyde: Welcome everyone to today’s Archyde Interview. We have a unique prospect to sit down with Justa, a woman who has bravely traversed the complex landscape of love and relationships. Justa, thank you for joining us today and sharing your story.

Justa: Thank you for having me. I think it’s importent to talk about these experiences, as challenging as they may be.

Archyde: Your journey through love has been anything but conventional. Can you tell us about that?

Justa: [Laughs softly] Indeed, it hasn’t. I’ve often found myself drawn to the familiar, even when it wasn’t healthy for me. Growing up in a fractured home, I was a late bloomer and struggled to understand what healthy love looked like. I’ve lost myself in unattainable relationships and found myself drawn to partners who weren’t truly invested in love. It’s been a journey of self-discovery, that’s for sure.

Archyde: You identified yourself as a “KOPP child” growing up. How did your childhood experiences shape your approach to love?

Justa: Being a KOPP child meant grappling with mental health challenges from a young age. There wasn’t much room for my growth, and I wasn’t guided through it. Looking back, I see the consequences of that in my love life. I yearned for security and connection,but that frequently enough led me to seek comfort in unhealthy relationships.

archyde: Let’s talk about a specific relationship – your connection with Kobus. how did that begin?

Justa: Kobus and I initially connected online. Our first meeting was… intense. I remember feeling astonished by the passion, but also quite rough. Despite brief moments of intimacy, he remained distant, and I found myself emotionally adrift.

Archyde: Despite the heartache, you’ve said that relationship taught you valuable lessons. Can you tell us more about that?

Justa: Absolutely. It taught me the importance of emotional reciprocity in a relationship. I learned that I needed to set boundaries and prioritize my own well-being. It was a challenging experiance, but it ultimately helped me grow.

Archyde: tragedy struck after your breakup with Kobus, with the loss of your mother. How did that impact your emotional state and your decisions regarding relationships?

Justa: [Pauses] The grief was overwhelming. I was in so much pain from losing both my mother and Kobus that I needed familiarity and comfort. I found myself drawn back to Kobus, seeking solace in his embrace.It was an unhealthy decision, based on my emotional state at the time, but it’s something many people can relate to.

Archyde: Your story serves as a poignant reminder that love can manifest in unexpected ways, often driven by deeply rooted emotional needs. What advice would you give to someone walking a similar path?

Justa: I’d say, prioritize self-discovery and healing. It’s crucial to understand your own emotional needs and boundaries. Don’t hesitate to seek help – therapy, support groups, whatever you need. And remember,love should enrich your life,not consume you.

Archyde: Justa, your honesty and resilience are truly inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story with our audience today.

Justa: Thank you. I hope my experiences can help someone out there navigate their own journey through love’s labyrinth.

Archyde: Ladies and gentlemen,let’s give another round of applause to Justa for her courage and insight. Join us next time on Archyde, where we continue to explore life’s complexities, one story at a time. Until then, stay curious.