The youngest is 20, a cyclist and will ride the BK cyclocross tomorrow. The eldest is 41 and specialized as a hairdresser in wigs and hairpieces for cancer patients. Thibau Nys and Isabelle Nijs, son and mother.
Thibau
“Mom took me to my first youth competitions, when there was no question of a mobile home or a material station. “Get off, boy!” she cried when she thought I was suffering too hard. Today she is no longer involved in my sport and we never talk regarding it. Maybe another five minutes, until she says something funny regarding the course once more that shows she doesn’t get it. She has sat next to many well-known cyclists in her life, but often she did not even recognize them. They think it’s nice that mom approaches them like normal people.
“My father (ex-cyclist Sven Nys, ed.) takes care of my physical health, our mommy takes care of my mental. I’m not the biggest chatterbox myself, but we do talk at the right times. Mama taught me to look at life with an open mind. For her, the race is a job and other things are important. If I thought too much like her, I wouldn’t have made it as far as a sportsman. At the same time, thanks to mom, I dare to enjoy life a little more than dad was able to do during his active career. If he thinks regarding something very black and white, she cautiously suggests tackling it differently. My attitude is right in between that of my two parents and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Even when mom says exactly the same as the others, she broadens my perspective, just because of the way she conveys it. She knows best when to leave me alone or do something else. On an internship in Italy I received a book from her, Straight-Line Leadership by Dusan Djukich. She got to know herself better through it and in the meantime she has hung up on that book her whole life. Now and then she sends me a chapter.
“Mom and dad always thought school was very important and so did I. When they told me to study harder, I totally understood why they said that. Only the problem was that I got better and better with the bike and that I have a very hard time doing two things well at the same time. When I was in fifth grade, Mom let go of my grades. She was tired of always arguing regarding my homework and she saw that the course made me very happy. Today I only have my secondary education diploma, but I always said that if cycling didn’t work out, I might go back to college. So far I haven’t regretted it for a second.
“A while ago I bought a building plot, so most of the conversations between us are now regarding EPCs, cavity walls and architecture. She has already built three times, so she knows better than anyone what to look out for. It’s not that I have to or want to leave home, but I still live alternately with mom and dad, and that’s why my life doesn’t have enough structure to my liking. Sleep here, have breakfast there… Every now and then I realize too late that there are still some pants left at Dad’s or that there’s no more oatmeal at Mom’s.
“Mom is the perfect hostess. I really enjoy cooking with her or playing a board game, and my friends now know that they can drop in the same evening to have dinner with ten people. The more souls, the merrier for mama. On such evenings she walks around the house in her jogging and just belongs to the group.”
Isabelle
“When Thibau was five days old and was examined in the hospital, he immediately turned on his siren. “That will be one with character,” said the pediatrician. He has become. Thibau knows what he wants and you better not try to argue with that too much. We had to find a way to get closer to each other despite our strong characters and I think that worked out well.
“Thibau is my only son, he quickly had a girlfriend, he was often away and then I was divorced from his dad. In other words, I had to teach him to let go at 300 an hour. That has also ensured that I was able to develop my own career as a hairdresser. I worked so much that I hardly had time to worry regarding it. That’s why he doesn’t have a brother or sister: I didn’t have time for it, my ex-husband also needed a lot of care because of his sport and following my divorce I didn’t feel like having a child with another partner. I’m happy with how it turned out, but I can miss some life in the house when my son is not home.
“I lived for a long time in the service of my ex-husband, with great pleasure, by the way, but I am also glad that I chose a job in time that is far from the course. That also gives Thibau the necessary space and it has only strengthened our bond. I always give the same advice to his girlfriend: keep your own life, don’t let everything stand or fall with the course and think regarding your own well-being, because if you don’t feel good regarding yourself, it will also have consequences for your relationship.
“Thibau doesn’t always like media attention and interviews, but he handles it well. He also grew up with it, of course: he mightn’t talk properly before they interviewed him. There is still a video online in which he says as a toddler that Bart Wellens is a monkey. If you look closely, you will see that he talks with his mouth full: we bribed him with sour bears to say that.
“I know that he is viewed very critically and I think that is a shame. Other twenty-year-olds can still make mistakes and grow anonymously, not him. I try to ignore the comments on social media, but sometimes I still come across a harsh comment that one of my Facebook friends has responded to. Then I look at that profile and it turns out that it is just a grandmother with grandchildren. It all passes, but then I wonder: how can I help Thibau here? I often keep in the background: the conversations I would like to have with him, we have usually already had. As long as he knows I’m always there to talk.
“If I really make an effort to cook, he really appreciates it. That is my most important contribution to his life for the time being, there is no more to it at the moment: he does not yet have a house where I can work, there are no grandchildren yet and the logistics during the race are not for me either. In fact, we have far too little time to do anything with just the two of us. I would like to go on a trip with Thibau, but he now only has time once a year to go away with his girlfriend. It is now and I clicked. I want to be a nice, good mom to him, not a frustrated mom who just demands time. No one benefits from that.
“In the meantime I have expanded my business. Now I distribute wigs and hairpieces for cancer patients. Thibau knows nothing regarding wigs, but we talk regarding the business side as equals. Since we are only 21 years apart, we have a kind of friendship bond and he can also give me feedback that takes me to the next level. He now gives me the sporting advice that I mightn’t give him, because I just started training to run half a Marathon des Sables and I called Thibau first to ask how he would do that. I am now fully preparing and have never realized how hard my child has to work and how he sometimes had to choose himself to be where he is now. My respect for him and for top athletes in general has only increased.”
Crazy habits
Thibau regarding his mother: “She comes up with a new diet every month.”
Isabelle regarding her son: “He always puts during dinner FC The Champions opas a kind of background music.”
